The Life and Times of JenniCrat

Day 2,179, 14:46 Published in South Africa South Africa by Luc Praetor


Friends. I'm not here to tell you about the story that was my ill-fated friend's lazyprat life. Instead, I'm here to tell you about the miracle that was her lazyprat life, and how her year and a half of desperate eLife as a lazyprat have left an enduring impact on the lives of us all.

This is an article about my dear eFriend, JenniCrat.

LAZOPROSY - A blight on our eR society

Because of my friend's personal sacrifice of giving up her identity, her dignity, adopting a raggedy monotone flag for an avatar pic, and losing her ability to speak in English for two consecutive posts at a time, I publish this article and public plea, so that we can save as many of these lazyprats as we possibly can from their own self-destruction.

JenniCrat was right. She had battled lazoprosy since before the age of eleven eMonths, and at the time of her death on day 2,171, she hadn't been lazoprosy-free since diagnosis; had her lazoprosy disappeared, it certainly would have been a miracle. But I'm not here to tell you about a miracle that saved my friend's eLife; instead, I'm here to tell you about the miracle that was her life, and how her 2 1/3 years of eLife have left an enduring impact on the lives of other lazyprat children battling lazoprosy. Most of them are still afflicted by this disgusting sickness, but we hope to cure them all.

With this publication, we announce Die Ware Naboom Fondasie vir Fokkol-Lazokratiese Houdings, or, WNFFLH for short (in English, we resorted to the abbreviation of WAFFLE). This foundation is dedicated to the research and treatment of lazoprosy.

This new charity will battle lazoprosy on several fronts.

- The inherent illiteracy that all lazoprosy sufferers have to endure. It is humiliating to have to admit that you once could read, write and argue in one language over several posts at a time, but with lazoprosy, this has become an impossible blight on a community that could have done better.

- The still problematic use of uploading a unique avatar pic that describes yourself. It is a farce that eAdmins have still not fixed the simple point-and-click mechanism which all other eRepublik users have been using for several years now. Lazoprosy users still end up pointing and clicking at the same ridiculous picture every time they try to voice their self-expression.

- We are still plagued by people plagued by lazoprosy attempting to form coherent opinions and arguments in comments in articles posted by other citizens of eR. Our continuing effort of dumbing down our article posts have as thus far had no effect in reducing the incidents wherein lazoprosy sufferers not comprehending the arguments given by our esteemed citizens. Combine this with the fact that they can't argue across two comments on an article, and you have disaster. We, as a caring charity, have to educate these poor peoples.

- Our continued efforts of getting people suffering from lazoprosy of learning any more of our eleven official languages has come to no avail. Being that they suffer from a tendency to not hold two thoughts from one minute to the next, we cannot get these poor souls to stop driveling in some inane tongue that us locals are not accustomed to.

And for those people claiming that there is a campaign of persecution against the poor peoples that suffer from lazoprosy, I defend our chivalrous activity in attempting discourse, engagement, and support for these blighted folk of lazoprosy.

So hear this.

CHARITY APPEAL

With your help, we can polish this blight off our society. Speak up against lazoprosy, teach people to wash their hands, clean their bed sheets, so that they will learn that basic hygiene is what all lazoprosy sufferers lack.

- Please send your donations to fight lazoprosy to the Reserve Bank of South Africa, care of, Dude-In-A-Funny-Hat.
- Also, send your offers of basic utensils for training, specifically, spatulas, rubber scissors, etc, to. THE INSTITUTE FOR LAZOPROSY, Witwatersrand, Gauteng, 1619.

I hope wherever you are, and whatever you do this eMonth to help in the fight against lazoprosy, that you will continue that for eMonths to come, eDay in and eDay out. JenniCrat would have wanted this. After all, as Ines Schumacher said on numerous occasions, "PHUZA THURSDAY!!!"


~ Another article consumed for eRepublik use