Moriarty4CP: The Goatifesto

Day 2,721, 17:15 • Published in United Kingdom United Kingdom • by Citizen 4945322

Its that time of the month again, when we all go to the polls and the bears oh the bears oh the humanity!



I come before you with a background in politics. When BigAnt stood unopposed before the Brits for the umpteenth time, who proudly stood up to him in a closely fought election? It was I. When he subsequently took off with all the cash who stood in and attempted to fix the mess for a few days? It was I! Who is promising a free waffle (toasting or potato) to every citizen of this fine country? It is I!

There have been many incarnations of the Moriarty4CP campaigns, spanning now brief periods over the last two years. But this time its different.

This time there are more goats. And waffles. And genocide (but lets not get into that).

I am asking you, nay begging you, nay crawling towards you on all four and crying into my sleeve, nay actually threatening to kidnap your family, to vote for me in this coming election.

Because its the Spamican's promise. We won't fuck things up. Cause we'll hardly do anything.

Except free waffles.

And goats.

And genocide.

Now this brief interlude where hopefully Noel Edmonds will inspire you to vote for me.



#VoteMoriarty



#VoteMoriarty



#VoteMoriarty



#VoteMoriarty



#VoteMoriarty