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Hunny > Bananas (And A Happy Valentine's Day)

Day 2,642, 05:28 • Published in United Kingdom

• by Hail Astrid

Hello eUK. I come to you today with a controversial message.

Hunny > Bananas

Why, you ask?

Because of this.

Would you rather a ticket to the eBanana Republic - or a suspicious substance peddled by an anthropomorphic teddy bear that'll get you higher than any other drug around?

That's right.

Now that that's out of the way, I have another controversial message to share.

I have been looking for the perfect mascot for the eUK. Someone who epitomises our community. The hero our children deserve, but not the one they need right now. Or ever, really.

This guy.

Truly a revolutionary of our times.

However, Winnie the Pooh is also an asshole. Wouldn't have guessed, but I have managed to compile bulletproof evidence for this. Feel free to throw one of these zingers around whenever you feel the need to put someone down, Winnie-style.

Pooh also epitomises our community in several other ways.

Probable physical unattractiveness.

Blatant disregard for the thoughts of others.

Rampant income inequality.

"That's not exactly what I had in mind" should be the tagline for this game.

Blatant disregard for human life.

Murder.

Parties I'm not a part of.

Ignored friend requests. Obligatory mention of WayneKerr here.

A sense of humour that can be truly baffling at times.

Finally, the most cruel Pooh joke of them all has to come from Winnie the Pooh creator A.A. Milne's Wikipedia entry.

"... a noted writer, primarily as a playwright, before the huge success of Pooh overshadowed all his previous work."

Damn it, Pooh.

I'd be pissed about that too, to be honest.

In other news, a Happy Valentine's Day to all!

The general reaction of the population would probably be:

Thus, I hereby cancel Valentine's Day and instead urge everyone to celebrate Winnie the Pooh Day!

... which falls on every 18th January.

Pictorial depiction of how I messed that one up

Yeah. Sorry about that.

Have a pervy Winnie the Pooh gif instead.

Pooh also demands that you vote, shout, subscribe, pay and most importantly get mad high off some good hunny. And you don't want to piss that guy off.

Trust me.