[WHPR] Day 1358 The French Are Friends, Not Food

Day 1,358, 23:41 • Published in USA USA • by James S. Brady Press Room


Dear Sweet America,

Our Great and Glorious Leader, President Cerb has issued a statement:

"Today the allied forces of the Grand Terran Alliance, in conjunction with the Khanate of Eden, delivered a serious and heavy blow to ONE forces operating here and abroad.

At home in the United States the state of New Jersey was liberated from Polish forces. This now leaves Poland with only six regions in the United States, all of which will soon be restored to our control.

Abroad, we fought side by side with our good and faithful allies, the French, helping them to regain Limousin from the Hungarians. Additionally, in the offensive against the Spanish region of Catalonia, our joint forces were equally successful.

Not satisfied with only these efforts, we continue to assist Chile in their war against Peru in the mid-Andes.
The United States respects her friends and will do everything in her power to continue to aid them, even while suffering under and invasion. Let it be a reminder to our allies of the value of our friendship, and to our enemies of the cost of crossing us. "

Spain will be attacking soon, but that's alright. Why is that alright? Its alright because I said its alright, now shut your whorish mouth! Or, to explain it better, its alright because the joint forces of EDEN and TERRA are collectively kicking ONE's butt right now, winning battle after battle after battle.


Do want to devour fossilized Spanish tears

There's also talk of the Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia breaking away from the ONE bloc to join with its neighbors to the east to form a new alliance. This would of course play right into the hands of TERRA, so we'll have to keep a close watch on that.



Also, President Cerb asked that I share the wonder and joy that is Emily Scott with you, so here she is:



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Stay classy, America,
Necros Xiaoban
White House Press Secretary