[WHPR] Day 1356 A Plan For Our Future

Day 1,356, 09:08 • Published in USA USA • by James S. Brady Press Room


Dear Sweet America,

A full day has passed since our Glorious Leader, President Cerb, took office and already he has laid out ambitious plans for our future. The Glorious Ray of Sun who Arises From the Mountaintops has detailed specific duties to each and every department of his administration providing clarity to his cabinet members, vision to their deputies, and hope for our nation.

I would like to take a moment and share his plans with you, so that you too may be inspired by his unique gift for leadership.



General Goals

* Kill the Spaniards
* Kill more Spaniards
* Shorten the Poles
* Utilize the great experience of our nation's veterans to shepherd our promising youth into a new era of growth and prosperity
* Start the first White House Blogtalk Radio Show
* Improve communication with the American Public
* Continue Blank Keating's effective polling


Vice President

* Empower the VPOTUS to float between departments, contributing whenever and wherever he chooses.
* Utilize experience in military infrastructure matters to improve the quartermaster system of our armed forces
* Coordinate with the Ministry of Silly Walks of the UK to develop our own domestic authority on Silly Walking


Chief of Staff

* Monitor staff performance for purpose of make glorious nation
* Renovate and create new departments
* Coordinate vacations, sick days, alien abductions and jury duty to ensure full coverage at all times


Human Resources

* Provide excellent interns to departments for purpose of make beautiful nation
* Coordinate with Chief of Staff to identify specific need
* Make hiring/firing decisions as appropriate
* Make the WHPR Press Secretary a sammich


Department of Defense

* Kill the Dirty Rotten Pig Stealin No-Good Double Spaniards
* Create a whole, sovereign United States, restoring all original territories
* Improve USAF-JCS Communication
* Improve TERRA-EDEN Coordination
* Develop independently powered fully mechanized space marine suits, complete with rocket thrusters


Department of State

* Strengthen USA-TERRA relationships
* Strengthen TERRA-EDEN relationships
* Weaken relationships of ONE nations
* Bring China into the fold


Department of the Interior

* Feed new players
* Mentor new players
* Work with DoE and DoTech to improve activity on IRC and forums
* Explore mineral rights and award lucrative contracts to multibillion dollar multinational companies


Department of Education

* Design tutorials for player education
* Focus on improving IRC and forum usage
* Educate public on advanced subjects like Congressional taxes
* Leave no child behind


White House Press Secretary

* Write fun, entertaining, interesting articles every single day. No exceptions
* Bombard the other departments for information to include in said articles
* Lead Mass Messaging campaigns to disseminate especially critical and time sensitive information
* Hold press conferences
* Eat HR's sammiches


Oval Office Radio

* Create first White House blogtalk radio show
* Ensure nothing is done to upstage our fabulous WHPR staff


Office of National Intelligence

* Coordinate with the various 'black' intelligence communities
* Ensure the independent agencies are producing good intelligence
* Serve as a recruitment conduit for the agencies


Department of Technology

* Coordinate with the various departments to meet all their technological, theological and scatological needs


Chancellor and Lord Protector of the Realm, Godfather, and TOP GUN (Advisors)

*Provide knowledge and wisdom to junior cabinet members
*Assist in limiting incidents of the cabinet shooting itself in the foot
*Excel in excellence

If you would like to join the Administrative Team, apply here: Application to serve.






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- The Canine Tribune, President Cerb’s paper




Stay classy, America,
Necros Xiaoban
White House Press Secretary