[GBM] Plato's attempts to Destroy Game Thwarted. Blames Stockholm Syndrome.

Day 2,188, 09:11 Published in USA USA by Paul Proteus
This article is a satire, which means if this article is taken down it's clearly censorship


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It's been a while guys. Consider this my official retirement from politics, and return to the Federalist Party and writing silly articles. 😁. Depending on who you are, sorry/you're welcome. Enjoy~

In any case, welcome to the return of Goodbye Blue Monday, reporting on all the nonsense that's fit to print 24/7/365. If it aint newsworthy, we print it. Wait, that's not right...

Plato's attempts to Destroy Game Thwarted. Blames Stockholm Syndrome.

Day 2128: eRepublik HQ, Erebus


Plato looks on at eRepublik with thinly veiled disgust

In a scandalous new interview regarding the most recent changes to eRepublik, famous dweller of bridges, philosopher, and abomination, Plato, revealed that people were never meant to "play eRepublik so long". Stating that, as a human being, he would never willingly cause people to endure this, and that the continued existence of 'players' both "defies logic" and "worries [him] greatly".

When asked about why he started the dwindling browser game, Plato responded sincerely. Chuckling, he told us he "never expected it to go this far" and that "really our end-game was to be able to pay for a foosball table, but after that. God, we never expected people would stick around".

He continued "if you think we actually believe the changes we make to this game are supposed to make it better...." (Plato shakes his head for a moment) "You must think I'm really stupid".

"No, you guys are supposed to quit, christ, this game is literally just a money dump."


"What even is this shit" -Plato

"The only reason why any of you are still here I can think of is Stockholm Syndrome, I mean come on guys".

This intrepid reporter will have to concur with the diagnosis.

Plato also reportedly felt good "getting this off his chest" stating, "if this makes me look like the bad guy, okay, but at least its the first step towards tens of players getting the help they need."


Next week on Goodbye Blue Monday:


In other news, Goodbye Blue Monday has taken massive cuts in their graphics department. Also in their humor department.

-Idiotic Reporter upset his article got taken down. Gains forfeit point for saying "censorship"

-eRep actually created to keep Ajay distracted, Judge convicts US ATO efforts in criminal case for "loosing him on the actual world".

-Revelation that 50% of Romanian GDP comes from American "goldbeast"


Your Moment of Zen:


From xkcd


That's it for today, not my best offering, but given the state of the Media Module it will have to do,

Stay Sexy~