Join the new world

Now that the CP election is over, we are faced with the familiar and inevitable sense that disappointment is just around the corner. Yet again it seems that the eUK population has elected a popular, competent candidate with an overwhelming majority.

And we all know how badly that tends to go.[/oolor]



Luckily, help is at hand.

There is a party that’s not afraid to stand up to the tiresome monotony of popular candidates from popular parties winning popular votes. There is a party that’s prepared to raise its voice and - if necessary - its fists against the unholy triumvirate of good governance, thoughtful policy and diligent planning. There is a party that refuses to bow down to democratically empowered competence.


But who is that brave party?

You already know the answer; you’ve known it for a long time. Indeed, the answer is so familiar, you’ve overlooked it for far too long.

Stop and think for a moment - which is the only eUK party prepared to stand against the tide of tedium and fight for a more interesting and lulz-based country instead? Which party is always there, tirelessly working to save the eUK from rigamortis? Which party do you absolutely rely on to perform this noble purpose, without ever really having to think about it yourself?

See? You knew. ESO is that party.

ESO are here to take the country by the scruff of its neck and entertain it to within an inch of its life. We are here to cut through the daily grind of work, train, fight and moan, and elevate the population to a higher state of being. We are here to put the fun back into “The eUK is FUNdamentally a pretty cool place to be.”



Well now, good citizens, it’s time to recognise and reward that party. It’s time to show that that you too value lulz and larks above sound economic policy and well-considered military strategy. Because, after all, look where that's got us.

It’s time to join ESO!

ESO have been bubbling under in sixth position for far too long. Despite a successful recruitment drive in recent weeks that’s added almost 25% to our membership numbers, we haven’t quite made it into fifth spot (mostly because BDP have miraculously managed to add six new members of their own, without saying a sodding word in public). So we need a bit of a boost. And that’s where you come in.

Join ESO and its ever-growing list of public dignitaries, scholars, celebrities and lolz-merchants. Help protect the eUK’s proud tradition of lulz-over-everything and - at the same time - relegate Dapper to political obscurity. For free!

Go on. You know it makes sense.










The bit that’s at the bottom of every article
Although this article is intended for members of ESO, who - frankly - struggle to keep up with the sheer quantity of cool stuff that’s happening, we’re aware that people from outside the party follow our every move and hang off our every word. That’s fine - it’s understandable. And because we’re an open, caring, giving party, we encourage that sort of thing - who are we to restrict access to our awESOmeness?

So these are for you. And don’t forget, you can always join us and be part of the only eUK party that’s growing*.



*probably true