[Broforce News] EXCLUSIVE: Derp's SHOCKING Election Call
Derphoof
This shocking call, seeking to overturn the results of the election, is a first in American history. By attempting to strongarm Congress and Plato himself, he is signaling his desperation to win this election. It is an audacious use of brute political force to attempt such an action. Yet, this set off widespread alarms within our national institutions.
"I'm confident he knows he hasn't won," said Speaker Paul Proteus, a Derphoof supporter in Congress. "We may have some power to change things, but it's incredibly unlikely that this result is changed."
In a long-winded and rambling response issued by the campaign, Derphoof assaulted the election process. He cited irregularities, voting complaints, eyewitnesses and bots being used by his opponent. He also claimed, in his words, that many witnesses had signed "After Davids" to be presented to Congress. Though he demands a hearing, it is unlikely that one will be held.
Prospective VP, RF WIlliams, had this to say about the results: "Come hell or high water, the establishment cannot stop the coming revolution. They may have stolen this election, but they cannot steal the hearts of the people!"
Live from outside the Derphoof Campaign Headquarters in Sacramento, this has been the Broforce News Network.
Comments
As long as our private calls aren't leaked...
Too scandalous for any reputable paper to publish unedited
Well, I've already leaked a photo of Derphoof and chickensguys.
I hope the admins, and even more importantly, the weak and ineffective Swedish overlords of eRepublik Labs, are looking at the hundreds of tickets pouring into the Ticket Center. They won't stand for a landslide election victory to be stolen.
"I know what I saw. And I signed something saying that if I'm wrong, I can to prison. Did you?"
You misspelled your own name
lol,
Derphoof Trump
IRL // lol 😃
Don't cry Derp. saratoga can s*** your Johnson, you might feel betta!
Oh, ok... the Paul will do it, right?!
B R O F A R C E
idiots who cannot f....
( for illiterate peasants:
farce : an empty or patently ridiculous act, proceeding, or situation )
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TROLL_CAT_WAS_HERE!
"brofarce" is quite creative peasant
[removed]
o7
Allons enfants! To the e-ramparts, citizens!! Stop the Steal! Let the ruling classes tremble, etc., etc.
Oh wait. Was Derpo just drunk again? Rats... that we'd had a "moment".