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About my newspaper

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This paper was once serious. Like the Guardian.

Then it degenerated. Think the Sun.

Finally it just became a load of bollocks. Like the Daily Mail.

[Insert Depressing Trumpet Noise Here]

41 Day 1,394, 14:02 United Kingdom Warfare analysis Warfare analysis

Dry your eyes, Wales and South-West England. As they say, theres no use crying over spilt Canadains, who obviously still held a grudge over us from when we attempted to conquer them under jamesw. So when Irish went away crying to their mother, EDEN,

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Vote Moriarty in UKDP elections

3 Day 1,392, 11:09 United Kingdom Political debates and analysis Political debates and analysis

This is a Party Political Broadcast to all UKDP Party members.


You will probably not know me, or will have heard about me. I'm Professor. Jerry Moriarty, and although it looks like I am inexperienced, I know the ins and outs of our

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In the words of John Macenroe-"You cannot be serious"

2 Day 1,391, 03:50 United Kingdom Warfare analysis Warfare analysis

"you cannot be serious"

And once again we look like we are going to attack Canada. Why? I have no idea, although I have been told its because "we are tanks". When? … read more »

Lets all attack Denmark and Norway

12 Day 1,389, 10:02 United Kingdom Battle orders Battle orders

Right guys, what we'll do is we'll all get on a canoe, row over to the land of the Midgets and take over, hoping that they haven't replaced their primitive axes with proper guns. We'll pillage their towns and caves, and nick their cows before

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Hey Ireland...........How do you like 'em apples?

19 Day 1,388, 14:10 United Kingdom Warfare analysis Warfare analysis

Let's all laugh at Ireland. Whilst we dine on fresh fruit from acroos the sea. Mmmmmmm...pears. Anyway, enough of the gloating. *Takes small bite out of apple, pausing for effect* Yes, Ireland are not so good when the Croats and Bulgarians are busy

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