The Daily Irregular

You To Me Are Everything Or You Are Purrrfect.

3 • Day 1,341, 06:12 •

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Political debates and analysis

Gather round children and let me tell you the story of my eLife. Wait come back! I’ll skip my biography and get right to the point...

I want you.

I really want you.

I want you so much it hurts.

Have I told you lately that your eyes are like star light? No?!
Well they are.

You’re looking radiant, a blessed change from all the gargoyles around here.

Frankly I am not worthy of your bounteous charm and wit.

Would you like a massage? My mother told me I’m very good at them.

Honestly whatever you do is perfect.

Oh just to let you know, I’m running for congress in London. Maybe you could look me up if you’re about and vote for me…