White House Press Release #100: Lion King is Falling Down!

Day 903, 00:12 Published in USA USA by James S. Brady Press Room

Good evening, America. This is the one hundredth White House Press Release. Pat yourself on the back, you’re reading history. Now let’s get down to business:



Lion King is Falling Down…

Liaoning is under attack. The wall’s steadily falling down, what are you waiting for? GET OVER THERE! Move, move, move! Every point of damage counts, we need you over now! Quit your job, leave your party, move to Beijing and fight for America and her allies. We’re all counting on you!



Hungary Backstabs Serbia

In a rather unsurprising move, Hungary has backstabbed Serbia. An official sent by their president approached our administration with the offer, apparently not realizing that the United States would never betray Croatia. We baited the official for a few days to figure out what Hungary was willing to do to screw over Serbia, the whole time keeping in touch with the Croatian government. Now Hungary’s betrayal is out in the open, and the eUS still stands by our Croatian bros.



Buy War Bonds!

Would you like to be a patriot and increase your gold heading into V2? War bonds are back. War bonds help both you and your country. These bonds serve to generate funds quickly for the country prior to a war. After four months, you will be reimbursed plus interest, increasing your gold reserves. This offer is available for a limited time, so if you would like to participate read this article and make some money while helping your country.



Party President Elections

Party President elections are approaching. Citizens are reminded to stay vigilant. Last month, the Democratic Republicans, one of our top five parties, were taken over by Hungarians. There is still a credible threat, so keep your eyes peeled on the fifteenth. Hold your vote if possible, it may be needed for domestic ATO efforts.



Volunteers Sought for ATO Help Abroad

The Strategic Air Command (SAC) is in search of true American heroes.  We are asking for people willing to give up their eUS citizenship long term to fight PTO attempts around the world. In the eUS, our elections are often decided by hundreds fo votes, but for many of our allies, PTOs are a constant issue. If you would like to participate in this great act of patriotism please contact Strategic Air Command.



Arm America

Want to be do some serious damage when we’re finally allowed to attack Serbia? Participate in Arm America, our government-sponsored rank building program. Arm America hands out free guns to our citizens each week. Click here for more information.


Useful Links
Department of Defense Orders
President Harrison Richardson's Newspaper
Vice President Chocolate McSkittles' Newspaper
State Department News
USA Department of the Interior
The Army Times
Mobile Infantry Battle Cry
The Welcoming Committee Newspaper
Flying Unicorn News
The Training Corps Tribune
This We’ll Defend
Blood on the Risers
The Hanging Chad

This concludes the hundreth White House Press Release, the third of this Presidential term. Don’t forget to follow DoD orders!

‘Til Next Time America,

David Landon
Secretary of the Media

Gulden Draak
White House Press Secretary