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A Scotsman, Irishman and English walk into a bar.
The barman says, "Oi! Get out! You're out of order."

Two minutes later the Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman walk back in.
The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?".

Plato

Blond comes to the doctor and saying I am pain killer
Doctor asks what?.You need a pain killer.

Blond says I am pain killer my butt hearts me a lot haha 😃

Why do Marxists only ever drink horrible tea?

Because all proper tea is theft.

Hahah 😃

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Despite having an enormous intellect, Plato was a promiscuous womanizer, who inspired generations of feel lotsa furs.

Little Billy comes early from school one day. He drops his backpack on the couch and heads to the bathroom to take a piss. As he opens the door, though, he sees that his dad, who was not expecting him home so soon, was vigorously wanking. Surprised, dad looks over at Billy and tells him:
"Oh! Um... uh, don't worry son, ugh, you'll be doing yourself soon".
Lil' Billy looks at his dad with shock and confusion and just mutters out "But... why?"
A reply comes back: "Because my hand is getting tired"

That's very disturbing xD

I thought this joke would be right up Jimmy Savile's alley 😛

"right up Sir Jimmy's alley"?

Na, it's no fun if they agree to give you a hand 😉 You have to make them!

But that's rape! 😨 You should trick the kids instead into giving you a hand themselves. Then you can claim they wanted it in court, making for an easier case.

The real trick is to become politically big and spend a small fortune on a charity (like a rapes victum one). Thats way when they try to take you on you get to say that you've spent loads of money on people like her, so raping her makes no sense. It's a good way to trick the courts 🙂

Smart, I'll keep that in mind when visiting the hospitals.

This whole conversation has me needed counselling for the rest of my life.

your career prospects

Yeah, I'll apply Microsoft and Google but get rejected because some other guy had a CV with "eUK CP" under the previous jobs heading...

forgetting 11 month pp and philantrophist, but I'll forgive you 😉

decepticons supports this article

Two fish in a tank. One says to the other - how do you drive this thing?

I went to a zoo the other day but all it had was a single dog. It was a shitzu.

Plato is going to make a good update.

Why did the kid drop his ice cream?












Because he got his by a truck.

fffs I can't even tell a joke



*hit

first is not my own writing.

is part of story about a boy name lyle with his lover :

-It's happened when Lyle-san coming out.
-HE is the one who gave the idea of killing each other.
-Miranda+Monica+another one VS Novem.
-Lyle-san fleed before the carnage happen, but still can hear the ancestor making comments toward the carnage that happened RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEIR DOOR.
-Lyle : what a nice weather.
[Nice weather my ass, look here is RAIN OF BLOOD. OH SHIT SOMEONE ELSE HAND JUST FLYING]
[CRAP, THAT GUY GOT HER NECK LOOPED-OFF]

[external reaction]
Having a casual conversation with his ancestors while watching the bloodbath.
[internally]
All of them agree that he's fucking dead if he bangs anyone other than them first, and even if its one of them, his risk of death is still high

NB : no one is dead so is like simulation.

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also not my own writing

Mu En’s teachings : “When your enemy is a woman, you should never be polite. Use her shame against her, and in that way, no matter how powerful she is, she will at most be able to be at fifty percent effectiveness. Furthermore, if you have an advantage to take, why not!”