41
Vote Hard
It’s essential in these trying times to do everything you can…hard. Fight hard, work hard, and vote hard. The September presidential election is right around the corner. You need to vote who you think will be best. No half-hearted votes are allowed; America and also eAmerica weren’t built on lackadaisicalness. No! For us to win, we’ve got to go 110%. 90% of the battle is willpower; the other half is our abilities. If you don’t know that already, get a brain.
There are two major candidates for the US presidency. One is Emerick and two is Gaius Julius. Without exception, (besides the times Emerick went home with Free Willy and Gaius Julius thought his tampon was a cigarette) these are two classy fellows that will represent America really awesomely.
In order to educate the American public on the candidates, I have dived off of the intellectual deep end and wrote a haiku for each of them.
Emerick’s
Our Father, who art
In heaven, hallowed be thee,
And deliver us.
Gaius’s
We’ve got ninety-nine
Problems, but I ain’t one,
Rep me wit your vote.
America has had to wait for such great candidates for too long, like Ron Jeremy-esque. Thank goodness, September will allow us to vote hard. It will satisfy the burning fire (not the one that Paris Hilton or Claire gives to you) and allow America to continue on the path of recovery.
Just remember to
Vote Hard
and in order to complete this public service announcement:
There are two major candidates for the US presidency. One is Emerick and two is Gaius Julius. Without exception, (besides the times Emerick went home with Free Willy and Gaius Julius thought his tampon was a cigarette) these are two classy fellows that will represent America really awesomely.
In order to educate the American public on the candidates, I have dived off of the intellectual deep end and wrote a haiku for each of them.
Emerick’s
Our Father, who art
In heaven, hallowed be thee,
And deliver us.
Gaius’s
We’ve got ninety-nine
Problems, but I ain’t one,
Rep me wit your vote.
America has had to wait for such great candidates for too long, like Ron Jeremy-esque. Thank goodness, September will allow us to vote hard. It will satisfy the burning fire (not the one that Paris Hilton or Claire gives to you) and allow America to continue on the path of recovery.
Just remember to
Vote Hard
and in order to complete this public service announcement:
Facebook
Twitter
Voted...Hard.
Get a brain, Morans will never get old
Voted
This article ended my lackadaisicalness.
Well, glad to see that Emerick's name is on that list, finally.
"Morans"
Should be "maroons".
I feel like I learned a lot from this article. C'mon America! Be hard!! Do it hard, whatever it may be!!!