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You are reading an article written by a citizen of eRepublik, an immersive multiplayer strategy game based on real life countries. Create your own character and help your country achieve its glory while establishing yourself as a war hero, renowned publisher or finance guru.

Virginia is for Lovers (and that means us)

Day 1,403, 21:05 • Published in USA USA

• by Gnilraps

Department of Self-Promotion
Day 1,403 of the New World
24 September 2011

Click Here to Fight in the most Current eUSA Top Priority Battle

It's time to run for Congress again.

I'd like to appeal for your vote using all three of Aristotle's rhetorical categories.

Ethos:

I am now coming off of two straight terms as a congressman. I've been disappointed with this last class, although the budget discussion was excellent. Activity was low, frankly, and at times I would find myself re-reading threads that had not received any new commments despite a population of over 50 Congressmen.

I am not inactive.

I also sit on the Economic Council as a voting member, I serve in the White House cabinet as the Secretary of Media where I have been for three months straight. I am a Party President. I am coming off of a very educational but failed bid for Country President, a failure I do not intend to reprise.

Most importantly, I am not burned out from playing this game, I actually enjoy it. Congress can be fun and should be... um... funner.

In an environment where you never know who the next rogue congressman is going to be, you can be certain that Congressman Gnilraps will be reliable, sensible, sober, and expert.

Pathos:

Come on, admit it. You love me, man. I know I love you. I mean, we have this thing going, you and I. You read 16 Shells... you laugh, you rage, you drop your jaw, and you say, "Man, I love that Gnilraps."

It's like we were made for each other. I've got this incredible amount of nothing else to do with my day after day so I sit in front of my computer thinking up more wacky loveable things to do and say. And don't we all just eat it up together?

I mean, I may not be Glove or anything, but I'm not banned and I'm still love... aren't I?

Who among you wouldn't sleep a little easier knowing that Gnilraps is parading the halls of Congress, representing Virginia - which is for lovers by the way, and we are lovers you and me?

This is romance. Vote with your heart. Vote Gnilraps.

Logos:

Truth is, there really is no other choice. I know that AMP, USWP, the Libs, and even INCI will want to represent Virginia. But none of those parties is the Federalist Party, which is the party of Integrity, Decorum, and Excellence.

Integrity means that I am not going to embarrass anyone getting caught with my hand in the cookie jar. It means I don't have 14 multis lined up to vote for me. It means I've made my choices out of strength of conviction and I'll defend them. It means Government is in good hands.

As a Federalist I am bound to conduct my affairs with Decorum. This means that I show respect to those with whom I disagree, I avoid the descent into trololololand, and I word everything I say with the best possible construction, always casting favorable light on those whose hands have helped craft a legislation, endorse a bill, or engage a fruitful dialogue.

Federalists are Excellent Congressmen. Whether you are talking about Oblige, Heero Blaze, Talio_Extremist, Robert E. Lee, Cromstar, xDavidx, Jasper Signa, Jufedkg Borman, and a long list of others, or if you are talking about Gnilraps, since you are talking about Federalists, you are discussing greatness.

Summary (tl;dr version)

Vote for me because I'm a better choice than any of those other dudes.