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This is too funny! I know it looks long but is worth the read 😉

A. Chappell
This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml
(Personal Care)



After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly rastafarian
I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving
attempts had only been mildly succesful and I nearly put my back out
trying to reach the more difficult bits. Being a bit of a romantic I
thought I would do the deed on the missus's birthday as a bit of a
treat.

I ordered it well in advance and working in the North Sea I
considered myself a bit above some of the characters writing the
previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...oh my
fellow sufferers how wrong I was. I waited until the other half was
tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special
surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I
applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn't
have long to wait.

At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was
replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as
like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting
the ceiling with my head. Religion hadn't featured much in my life
until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any
religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what
seemed like the destruction of the meat and two veg. Struggling to not
bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel off in the sink
and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair.
Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the
hall into the kitchen.. by this time walking was not really possible
and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form
of cold relief. I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of
ice cream, tore the lid off and positioned it under me. The relief was
fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery
stabbing soon returned .

Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn't managed to give the
starfish any treatment and I groped around in the drawer for
something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon.
I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore
it open trying to be quiet as I did so. I took a handful of them and
tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse. This was
not doing the trick as some of the gel had found it's way up the
chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running it's
engines behind me.
This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going
to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you
some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the
pain. The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to
gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before.

Unfortunately, alerted by the strange moans and grunts coming from
the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate
and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice
cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while
muttering..." Ooooh that feels good ". Understandably this was a shock
to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn't heard her come in it
caused an involutary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the
sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction. I can
understand that having a sprout farted against your leg at 11 at
night in the kitchen probably wasn't the special surprise she was
expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the
strange hollow in the ice cream was didn't improve my status...so to
sum it up Veet removes hair, dignity and self respect...🙂


Now you guys know what women have to go through to look all good and dandy!

Have a wacking awesome day!