[FINAL UPDATE] Upcoming Feature: SEX!

Day 754, 21:05 • Published in USA Romania • by djvirusz

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WEDNESDAY UPDATE ===============================
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For those of you who PM'd me swearing on your mama's grave in order to get Lana unveile😛 Because in few minutes my article will go out of the International Top and I'm only half way of getting my medal, I'll be canceling my offer. Don't worry, your forefathers' graves will remain unharmed and your sex partners will be free of AIDS! Move on!

For the ones who LOL'd on my article: You should see the hundreds of messages that flooded my mailbox in the past 24hrs. Now that's genuine amusement! And what's even cruel is that among the users who did the swearing thing were also few ones of high level (20+)

For the ones who don't have a clue of what I'm talking about: Read below.


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TUESDAY UPDATE; FOR THE MAIN ARTICLE SCROLL BELOW
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Because after publishing the article our newspaper received dozens of messages from hungry men asking for cookies, we thought and this is how we'll do it:

(At this point I cannot accept money for sending out the photos unless I wanna get banned. So please stop sending messages where offering amounts of gold to see the illustrations.)

The only legal way to to this is that you vote the article and subscribe to the newspaper and then send me a PM containing this:

I swear on my forefathers' graves that I voted your article and subscribed to your newspaper. If I lie then I allow the divinity to punish me and to make sure that besides my hand I'll never have a sex partner in my life again. I sign below with my username to confirm the above.

YourUsername

After reaching 1000 subscribers and receiving my media mogul medal, each user who sent me the above message will receive a PM containing the external link of the place where i already uploaded the illustrations.


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Good day our virtual co-habitants,
Here is the eRepublik Deep Insider News streaming live from Bucharest, Romania, where among many war related events we managed to find out that the developers of this game are working hard on a new feature: SEX!



Why would they do that?
There are actually two main reasons:
1) eRepublik is supposed to be a real life simulator so it should cover all the real life activities. Until now we had working, eating, training, fighting and so on... but they missed one vital aspect for every citizen’s life: SEX! Without sex the citizens are often dying bored and unhappy.
2) Because of the most obvious reason: MONEY! Money for them! They thought they were not rich enough and decided to take advantage of one of the biggest weakness every man has.
So yeah, they’re doing it as we speak...

And how do I know all these?
Let's just say that one friendly and anonymous subscriber of our newspaper hacked into the CEO’s computer and obtained the sketches of the upcoming feature. At first we thought it was just an idea among many others but then the same friend of ours hacked again. This time, in order to confirm the info that you read above, he got himself an invitation to the board's meeting video conference where guess which was the main topic: the upcoming feature! And yes, he recorded all the board's meeting conference and kindly sent it over.

How will it work?
In short, there will be five packages, as shown in the picture below (click it for full size). At first there will be just Lana and depending on the success of the new feature they will design new models.



Why did you blur Lana’s beauties?
I didn’t! That’s how the actual packages are going to look like. I assume they blurred it in order to keep the citizens wanting to see more.

That’s it?!? That’s all the friendly hacker got? Any chance for more skin?
Actually he got a large batch of sketches and documents regarding the new features. Including few dozens of un-censored illustrations. Unfortunately we are not taking the risk of publishing them and get banned. Maybe for the right price we’ll you send you some. Or maybe not.

Hey! [female users shouting angry] What about us?!
Calm down! As far as we know they will begin with a one month trial (to see how the citizens are reacting) starting with January 1st and then depending on the result they will add several other models, including a couple of male models.

So yep, it’s all about MONEY and SEX!


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* please vote the article and subscribe to our newspaper so that you'll get more Deep Insider News as soon as they are published.
** please check back to this article because we will update it soon with more info.
*** if there are any skilled american journalists out there willing to help us improve the article and correct the language mistakes that would be great. but first send us a message.
**** any donations are appreciated in order to promote the article and to keep the newspaper coming with quality articles like this. shouting the article is also good.
***** last but not least, as some of our naive readers didn't figure yet, this article is a fictional satire and it should be treated accordingly. now go ahead and chew your daily bread and don't forget to choose the free training!