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Potpourri

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"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain."

-- Vivian Greene


Jokes

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A funeral service is held for a woman who just passed away. As pallbearers carry the casket out, they accidentally bump into a wall.
They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive!

She lives for 10 more years and then dies. They have another funeral for her. At the end of the service, the pallbearers carry out the casket.

As they are walking, the husband cries out, "Watch out for that wall!"

-o-o-o-o-

Fortuneteller: You will be miserable, depressed, and unhappy until your 40th birthday.

Client: Then things will improve?

Fortuneteller: No, you'll just be used to it by then ...

-o-o-o-o-

At the construction site of a new church, the contractor stopped to chat with one of his workmen.

"Paddy," he asked casually, "didn't you once tell me that you had a brother who was a bishop?"

"That I did, sir."

"And you are a bricklayer! It sure is a funny world. Things in life aren't divided equally, are they?"

"No, that they ain't sir," agreed Paddy, as he proudly slapped the mortar along the line of bricks. "Me poor brother couldn't do this to save his life!"

-o-o-o-o-

Ninety percent of politics is deciding whom to blame.