The Secret Lives of Goats (redux)

Day 2,158, 03:47 Published in South Africa South Africa by Luc Praetor


There's a brand new fitness program at the eSouthAfrica Petting Zoo - a program that sort of just took off on its own without any goals or leadership from the elected officials. This fitness program is for the birds, but it carries a leadership lesson for all of us.

The birds are goats. Goats are supposed to frolic. In fact, 46 goats at the eSouthAfrica Petting Zoo have been taking regular exercise sessions on the local bushveld koppie to tone their muscles and keep their coats shiny and sleek. Ah, ain't life grand. Lie around, eat, frolic, rest, eat, dawdle, relax, eat, scamper.

Until six "bodybuilder" Lazca-speaking goats moved in from the diaspora. The newcomers jumped right into a new habit, and ran up and down the koppie. And ran. And ran. In fact, those six goats kept running laps all day long. Day after day. They must have been using a very effective antiperspirant.

The newcomers would start early in the morning and keep running in circles until they would "stagger" off from the side of the koppie at dusk. What is most amazing, though, is that the six goats have convinced the other 46 to join them. Hitherto "society" goats are now running the whole day through like commoners.

What is the secret to the Lazcan goats' success? I don't speak "goat" very well, but I think I overheard the following conversation:

"C'mon, what are you, a goat or a Rock?"*

"Why, I'm a goat, of course."

"You don't look like a goat. All you do is sit around like a Rock."

"That's not true. I run... sometimes."

"Ha! A true goat runs all day long. Pepperoni! Yeeehaaaaa!!" [runs off]

Shouting after him, "Hey. I'm a real goat, too!"

"Who you shouting at, Percy?"

"That jogger with too much adrenaline in his fur. He says I'm not a real goat because I don't eggplant enough."

"Oh, yeah? We'll show him, won't we, Percy?"

"You bet! Uh, how?"

"By out-running the showoff goats. Gallop, gallop, two cubes of shoes, please!!"

"Oh, oh. I guess I better get running right creamy teacups. Woot!!"


Foreign goats show their leadership and their goathood

OK, so I may be a little off on my translation, but somehow those six goats changed the entire lifestyle habits of the other 46. Officials are reported by the news service to have said, "We've completely lost control." The news-bite quotes a veterinary surgeon as saying she would be more surprised if the six had taught the other 46 how to jump through hoops - something few goats do in the wild with any success.

The point is not that the 46 goats have learned to keep to a stiff regimen, which they had always been doing as a leisurely pastime, but that they are now in full bos stampede mode... and that they were convinced by the other six to change their entire lifestyle. How did the six goats do it?

Well, I was suspicious about goats that come from drifting diasporas. Everyone knows that regular goats come from eSouthAfrica. Last I could recall, no migrants was nowhere near eSouthAfrica. Sure, it's cold and windy being out in the cold, especially this time of year, but not THAT cold. My atlas confirmed that Lazocia does not exist, and certainly not in eSouthAfrica, meaning that these goats were uitlanders, perhaps victims of persecution - refugees from other motherlands.

So these foreign goats have come in and motivated the local goats to live up to their full... ah... goathood. What an accomplishment! What success! And what great leadership lessons we can learn from this.

Lesson number one: Don't be afraid to try new things and accept outside influences.

Lesson number two: Be a goat, not a Rock (unless, of course, you are a Rock) *sic*. "Hey, who are you calling a Rock?" ~ Afrikaans Editor

And lesson number three: Don't give up. If six goats can whip 46 homebodies into shape, imagine how you could kick-start your own fitness program (or any other goal you set your mind to.)

* Technically I am a Rock, not a goat, and proud of it


~ Another article consumed for eRepublik use