The Saga [Part 1]

Day 864, 05:39 • Published in Ireland Ireland • by Irish Princess

Once upon a time, in an eWorld not so far away, there lived a beautiful Princess who loved to help others and do good for her kingdom, but had no idea where to start.

One day, while walking her pet pink hedgehog, Prickles, the Princess looked up to see a wonderful maiden in the sky who talked to her with great authority.

“Greetings, fair Princess” said the woman. “I am Edana Savage and I need your help!”

“Oh my!” the Princess gasped. “How can I be of help?”

“The citizens of eIreland need someone to organize the Ministry of Health and restore wellness to all citizens, new and old alike!” Edana explained.

“But how can the Princess help?” the Princess asked, assuming her signature third-person speak.

“In the depths of the Ministry of Health lies an evil monster with horrible fashion sense and foul character who thinks you’re ugly,” Edana shuddered. “You must take him down, claim the MoH as your own, and heal eIreland!”

Roused by the adventure, the Princess accepted her mission and prepared to set out on her quest. “Edana?” the Princess asked. “What is the name of this horrible, fashionless monster that is unsure what beautiful people look like?”

“His name...” Edana started, “is BnalyD.”


The Princess gasped. What a horrible name! But before the Princess could ask anything else, the lady in the sky vanished.

“Where should the Princess start?” she thought to herself.
Just then, there were fun, happy sounds coming from a little pub on the other side of the hill where the Princess was standing her cute little self.

“Sounds like a party!” she yipped, clapping her hands together; “Surely I can find some fine citizens that will join me on my quest there!”

And with that, the Princess picked up her dress and hiked down the hill (gracefully, of course).

As she approached the party, the Princess soon saw that this was no little pub just over the hill, but a building looking more like an office with pretty windows and so much fun coming from inside. The Princess walked to the door, pulled, pushed, and turned the handle only to find that the door wouldn’t budge.

“Excuse me, miss?” came a handsome voice from behind the Princess, causing her to spin around rather excitedly.

“Are you trying to enter The Forum?” the man with the nice voice asked.

“The Forum? Is that was this is?” the Princess smiled, “Yes! The Princess needs to enter The
Forum!”

“Very well, Princess, I will grant you access myself,” the nice man said.

“Thank you, sir!” the Princess peeped, “What’s your name?”

”Kolshire, M’lady,” he said, “And I think you’re very pretty.”

“Oh, Kolshire, you’re so sweet!” And with that, the Princess winked and strolled into The Forum.

The Forum was a beautiful and exciting place filled with people talking and laughing and shouting. There were doors with pretty labels and inside those doors were more doors with pretty labels. The Princess was in awe.

“Flitterific!” she whispered to herself as she opened door after door, sometimes commenting on conversations the people were having inside.

While she was about to venture to find Kolshire again and ask him for some help on her quest, her pretty princess eyes saw a magnificent door with a golden label which read “Private Dáil.”



“That looks like a princess place. I’m sure there are people in there that will help me!” The Princess skipped over to the door and pulled on the handle.
Nothing.
She pushed and pulled again.
Nothing.
“This door is broken!” she shouted, as she stomped her feet.

In pink frustration, she turned sharply to run and find an eLocksmith to open the door, but instead ran right into a man in underpants.

“I’m so sorry!” the man said, “Are you alright?”

“Yes,” the Princess replied, “Are you ok? You…um…look like you forgot your trousers today.”
“No, no. No mistake. I always like to keep comfortable,” the man replied.
“Oh…well if it makes you happy, the Princess doesn’t see any harm.”
“You’re…the Princess?!” the man jumped.
“Why, yes. Yes, I am,” she replied with a smile.
“M’lady! I am your humble servant,” the gent said with a bow.
“Well, thank you…um…”
“Dash. Dash RipRock.”
“Nice to meet you, Dash. The Princess hopes to be seeing your handsome self around more often,” the Princess said with a wink.

With a smile and a nod, Dash pulled out a key and walked into the room marked “Private Dáil.”

“WAIT!” the Princess yelled.
“Princess?! Are you ok?” Dash cried.
“How did you get inside of that room?! The Princess has been trying to get inside and she can’t!”

“Well, my dear, that’s because you’re not allowed access to this area,” Dash said with a frown.
The Princess glared at Dash with princess-like anger.
“DENIED ACCESS?! I’M THE PRINCESS!!!” she yelled.

“Don’t worry! All you have to do is run for Congress,” Dash said. “Now, I have to be going, but I know you’ll do well in the Congressional Elections. Sign up for a party and run!”

“Great!” the Princess thought. “Just fantastic. I have to go on this quest and find this monster man and now I have to make sure I can see what’s in that room and to do that, I have to join a party and win a race! The Princess doesn’t know how to become a Congress!”

“You mean a congressman?” came a voice from behind her.
The Princess whirled around to see Darth Vader standing before her.
“You’re Darth Vader!” she eeped, “And you’re on a horse! The Princess SO ♥s horses!
“Yes, I’m Octavius Dryst ” the man said, “You want to be a Congressman. Not a congress.”
“No,” the Princess stared at him, “I don’t want to be a man.”

“She wants to be a congresswoman,” came another voice, this time from a wolf.
“She’s more right. Who are you?” the Princess smiled.
“I’m 😎ayan,” the wolf smiled, “And you want to be a congresswoman. Not a congressman, right?”
“Well…” the Princess started.
“Congresslady?” 😎ayan tried.
“Congressperson?” Octavius suggested.
“No…no…I’m more like a…” the Princess started.
“Beautiful Congress-Princess?” came a wonderful voice from behind the group.
“Yes! Yes, beautiful Congress-princess,” she smiled, “Thank you, Mr.…um…”
“Patton,” said the new member of the group.

And with that, patton pulled out his Congress key and walked into the Private Dáil.
“He SO likes me. Didn’t you think so? SO into me, right?!” the Princess whirled around to ask 😎ayan.
“He’s eSingle too, you know,” 😎ayan replied.
After about an hour of giggling and anxious peering at the door in hopes of seeing patton again, the Princess asked her new friend, “Hey…where’d Octavius go?”
“I think he left when he started getting too girly for him,” 😎ayan said, “I have to get going now too. I’ll see you later, Princess.”
“Toodles!” the Princess waved after he new friend.

Realizing how late it was and how she still didn’t have anyone to help her with her quest, the Princess decided that she should find a decent palace in which to rest until the morning.
“Where would I find a palace around here?” the Princess said to herself, strolling the halls of The Forum.



“You can usually find a house off of the market for a decent price,” said a man standing nearby in an Irish flag speedo.
“Aren’t you cold?” the Princess asked.
“What? No. I’m perfectly comforta… Oh my…” the man stopped, “Are you the Princess?”
“The Princess? Yes. I am the Irish Princess, prettiest in all the eLand,” the Princess smiled.
“THE Princess?! THE IP?!” the man said, getting more uppity.
“I..P…yes…IP, Irish Princess. That’s me!” she said.
“Nice to meet you, Princess. I’m05637716.”
“Nice to meet you, 05…7…”
“Just call me Digits.”
“Ok, Digits! Where did you say the Princess could find a palace?”
“A house?”
“No, a palace.”
“A house?”
“NO…a PALACE!”
“Well…I suppose you could find a hou…erm…I mean…palace from one of your loyal subjects. Try asking around on the IRC.”
“What’s that?” the Princess peeped.
“Here, walk with me,” Digits said.

Digits strolled with the Princess out of The Forums, and, being sure to wave good-bye to Kolshire, the beautiful Princess was happy.
Digits lead the Princess around the other side of the hill on which The Forums sat and pointed her to a hole in the ground.

“That’s the IRC tunnel. You have to go down there to enter the IRC,” he said.
The Princess looked suspiciously at Digits.
“No way, mister! The Princess has seen this story before! You’re going to trap me in this tunnel and I’ll never be able to get out! I’m making a door!” she shouted.
And, with that, the Princess pulled out her pink sparkle wand, pointed it at a nearby tree, and chanted, in an oh-so Princess way:

“Princesses do not EVER crawl through holes
Those are for rats and hogs and moles.
Princesses get what their hearts most adore,
Make this eTree into an eDoor!”

Suddenly, a pink poof of smoke appeared near the tree.
“What was THAT?!” Digits yelped.
“It’s Princess magic, silly. That’s how I made the IRC door. See?” the Princess laughed as she pointed through the smoke at the tree, which was now equipped with a door knob, hinges, and a sign which read “IRC.”
“I don’t get it. If you could do magic this whole time, why didn’t you just poof yourself a house and poof yourself a Congressman and poof yourself to the lair of BnalyD?” Digits spluttered.
“Digits…Princess magic is very tricky stuff. You can’t just poof yourself anything you want! I have to have an element of mystery, you know!”



The Princess left her new friend Digits pondering the mysteries of Princess magic as she travelled to the IRC in her new Princess-IRC-tree-door.

…To Be Continued…