The One And Only Way to Fight ONE [ENG] [ROFL Hazard]

Day 1,415, 06:00 • Published in Egypt Croatia • by Janko Fran

This is a re-post of the Croatian article Jedini nacin za borbu protiv ONE-a [The Only Way to Fight ONE], issued in Vruce price [Hot Stories] Newspapers, written by Babarej. I translated it and adapted it to English with some additional text in it (and songs). I also added some pictures at the end (+ a little surprise for you).

Warning: Some contents included in this article may cause injuries caused by falling on the floor (ROFL hazard) and permanent hearing damage. Black humor and nudity contents included - not suitable for children.

The Only Way to Fight ONE - When the financial crisis REALLY goes bad

I am watching these battles against ONE alliance. It is a fact that they are stronger and larger in numbers, but we have been able to manage them with our better organization. However, every now and then, the Admins change some rules, which are in favour of our adversaries (is it on purpose or not I don't want to care, I'd like to think that it's all somewhat fair) and which enable them to more or less dominate.

The only thing that keeps our heads above the water surface are the people who have money to spend and they really spend their RL money to tank in these wars. Without them it would be even harder, and soon even impossible to be equal to ONE.

However, this is still not enough and as they say, desperate times call for desperate measures. We have been trying with different Baby Booms and it didn't work out, cause very few people wanted to stay in a game that eRepublik has become. Especially if they don't have enough money to spend on it. Now it's time to seek for fresh blood among those who can tank, thus The Haves, who can and who are willing to help Croatia at least on this, virtual battlefield.

Here is a short list of those who we could engage in battle for "our cause", with short explanations of suitable nicknames for them and why they would be the perfect men for the job:

Željko Kerum
Entrepreneur and Major of Split


Željko 'The Hacker' Kerum: "Jesus, I don't know how to change
even a radio station on the radio, and they have given
me this monster with a zillion icons, and not a single saint
on them."

CroRico - a man of a few words, he just hates Serbs, and Serbs are in ONE, enough said to recruit him. There's no need to talk about the money, and he'd profit out of this as well, 'cause he'd also learn something about computers.!


Ivo Sanader
Croatian exPriminister, exMinister of
Culture and exViceMinister of Foreign Affairs


Ivo 'Durex' Sanader: "We'll secure maximal protection for our citizens."

Romper_2 - ex-Priminister of Our beautiful homeland, RL Croatia, and a very capable man could become a very versatile eRepublik player. With no better things to do now in RL, but to buy some gold and to spend the money from black funds, he could become invaluable player in our wars against ONE. He could also try his chances as an e-journalist. With his poetry and experience in providing pictures of pretty boobs for newbs, his Media Mogul Medal is only a matter of time. As a polyglot he might even try to compete with dSoKre in the Top International News. As being a very punctual person, he can set his watches to 6-hour eRepublik shifts in no time, so adapting to eRep time zone would be no problem for him. He could also help in running our e-country as he seems experienced enough in business and politics. Money laundering is only a plus for him. The only risk is a possibility for him to get banned by the Admins.

Ivo Sanader - TIKA TAKA Song
Ivo Sanader - TIKA TAKA Song
Ivo Sanader is also famous on
Youtube (click to hear the song
about his watch collection)

Josip Joe Šimunić
Croatian National Team Footballer and a new player in Dinamo Zagreb FC


Josip 'Joe The Hat Three Card' Šimunić - Croatian National Team
Footballer and a new player in Dinamo Zagreb FC

croPsycho - everybody likes him, everbody knows him, he likes Croatia and red and white squares, and with him comming to Dinamo he'll have enough time to spend on Internet and he will surely become an active and appreciated member of eCroatia. The good thing is that, in case of husles, Admins will probably need to ban him 3 times to get him permanently out of the game, but he's not afraid of them, he might still choose to ignore them and continue playing (just remember what happened to the referee, Graham Poll, who picked on Joe). He has plenty of money and his fast progress is guarranteed.

Tomislav Horvatinčić
Businessman and Construction Entrepreneur


Tomislav 'Titanic' Horvatinčić - Businessman and Construction Entrepreneur

Titanic - He has already started his battle for keeping Italians in Croatia, and as he will now have plenty of time to kill on the Internet, I think he should continue his fight in eRepublik. Thank Goodness, the money is not a problem, and perhaps he starts a joint venture project with Admins to provide us with some garages among the My land buildings.

Radimir Čačić - a Croatian politician and businessman, and
the president of the Croatian People's Party – Liberal Democrats (HNS).


Radimir 'RoadKill' Čačić, a Croatian politician and businessman as a Deadly Road Hazard

RoadKill - just as his colleague above him, this mighty guy is already fighting against our enemies, but he's ravaging through Hungary and he's very close to stay there for a while. Additionally, he could help boost our economy. Once again, the money is not the issue, but he could get in trouble if some mighty Hungarian in his cell takes his credit card to fight instead of him. Anyway, I think it is a risk worth taking.

Zdravko Mamić - President and CEO of Dinamo Zagreb Football Club


Zdravko 'Moochky' Mamić - President and CEO of Dinamo Zagreb Football Club

The_Great_Rammer - The last one on this list, but definitely not the worst one. Since there is still enough money left from all that football transfers, The Fear and the Fury, who is still on the loose, is ready to show his love for eCroatia. He's well connected in neighboring Bosnia and Herzegovina so it can be a plus in keeping good relations with our B&H allies. Additional plus for him is that there will be plenty of eRep shouts, as his shouts and curses come in the package, so it could ram ONEs troops morale and boost up morale of our own and assure some interesting and good time in eRepublik. If Dinamo doesn't spend this winter in Europe, there is no beter way to kill the time until the next qualifications cycle.

Mamić on Fire - Đubre song
Mamić on Fire - Đubre song
Song with Mamić Shouts and Curses Mix
Warning: If the volume is too high, there is a real risk of permanent damage to hearing.

If you want to hear more and feel how it sounds, you'll have to visit Zdravko Mamic SoundBoard.

Zdravko Mamic SoundBoard
Zdravko Mamic SoundBoard
Collection of The Best Mamić Shouts and Curses[/url]
Warning: Beside the hearing problems, there is a risk of losing self-esteem if exposed to these sounds.

So, these were several of my suggestions, I hope nobody will fill offended, primarily for mentioning of Čačić and Horvatinčić, who caused several people's deaths. This was intended only as a black humor in these difficult days of crysis. However, we all feel sympathy with families of the deceased.

Of course, you are free to suggest your favourites in order to help our alliances and Admins as well to earn more or at least to keep this game on life. So, I am awaiting your suggestions for more VIP players who you'd like to see in eRepublik. If you try hard enough with your suggestions, who knows, maybe we even start a new EDEN/Terra Super EMC Regiment and annihilate ONE forces. 😉

Addendum
(With courtesy of Start magazine and I.S. - future Romper_2)
Warning: Nudity contents - not suitable for children.




Start Magazine Cover [July 1983 Issue]

Start Magazine Cover [November 1983 Issue]

Start Magazine Cover [October 1988 Issue]
Topic of the Issue: EC - Recepy for Crysis
Click for larger images (and an extra surprise for you).

If you liked the article, please, shout it to your friends, they might enjoy it, too!

The One And Only Way to Fight ONE [EDIT] [ENG]
[ROFL Hazard]
http://www.erepublik.com/en/article/the-one-and-only-way-to-fight-one-eng-rofl-hazard--1876223/1/20

Warning: Some contents included in this article may cause injuries caused by falling on the floor (ROFL hazard) and permanent hearing damage. Black humor and nudity contents included - not suitable for children.