The Laziest of Presidents

Day 3,021, 20:38 • Published in USA USA • by Israel Stevens




Like, I get it. I really do.
Game’s dead, no one cares, why should we bother, etc etc.

But there are some things I just can’t let go.

Also, I’m drunk. It may just be that. idk. I’m not like an expert or anything. I just work here.

But like, come on.

ONE ARTICLE?!
Are you serious?
How lazy do you have to be to only string together a few paragraphs ONCE in your entire term? ONCE!

I’m talking about our President Orikfricai (or however you spell it) of course. The guy who just announced that he was running for President again. Which was good, because most of the country thought that he had died in office.

I get it. The bar for Presidents is low. Like, un-limbo-able low. Basically touching the ground low. But like, could you maybe at least pretend to care?

All around great kid, but terrible PotUS Tenshibo managed to put together more media than this. Even during the midst of a 7 sided invasion. He still found the time, and energy to write.

You don’t even need to write well, like Aramec or Proteus. You can take the Wild Owl (Née Vanek) approach and just bluntly write about what’s happening.

It doesn’t take a lot of effort. Or time. Or ability. Or anything. It takes like nothing to be able to be considered a decent President. Especially now. But you do have to write more than 1 article.


But no. It’s cool. We got this explanation:
Media...I think I failed on my part. I definitely didn't put out as much media as I wanted. I feel ambivalently about the WHPR. I think there's always room for improvement in the Media. There's never enough and you can always have more.

Gosh darn. It turns out that YOU’RE RIGHT! You can have more media. By publishing just TWO ARTICLES! You could have had more media than you managed to produce.




Real Talk (as Tenshibo’s ghost would say):
It’s really too bad that we are going to elect this water head to another term. Because he doesn’t deserve it. To write one single article, the entire time you are President, is deplorable. It shows a lack of effort, a lack of caring, and a lack of respect for the people that voted for him. But more than that, it shows a lack of respect for the people that wanted him to run. That believed in him. That thought he would do a good job.

He let the Federalists down. He let the Country down.

But he’s your next President, because no one can be bothered to run against him.