The Congress article I promised WookieO

Day 2,494, 20:40 • Published in United Kingdom United Kingdom • by Fataliix
Hello Massacar!

I've been putting off writing this because Congress is absolutely overflowing with nothing. I even thought I might get away with it, that is until I received an angry letter from Supreme Leader WookieBrO. I can't say I understand the need for a letter since he delivered it himself, but I knew the jig was up.


From the Crimewatch re-enactment of that day's events

Now, I'm not going to bother taking a screenshot of every law that has been proposed in the last few weeks. That would look far too much like a real article. Instead, have some crap categorised lists and explanations for the sh*t that might need some splainin'.

MPPs
USA - Voted yes. There weren't even any no votes. Starting to forget the purpose of this article.

Croatia, Turkey & Poland - Voted yes. They're Sirius.

Pakistan - Voted no. There was some heated discussion in Congress -- no, really, I'm being serious! -- about this particular MPP. I feel that Pakistan were just using us with no interest in a long-term partnership, and we certainly aren't gaining a substantial amount of damage from them. They launched an airstrike on us a matter of months ago, and it's too soon to be best pals.


A totally random Congressman delivers a more succinct version of what I just wrote - what a well-spoken chap!

Chile - Voted yes. Kravenn is gone, let's be buddies.

Indonesia - Voted yes. We all did.

Republic of Macedonia (FYROM) - Voted no. There was a long discussion about this in Congress. My view, and that of a few others, was that FYROM have never sent much damage our way - there were even allegations, albeit unproven ones, of FYROM tanking against us - and coupled with the impending wipe rendering the MPP useless, it just seems like a waste of money. It succeeded anyway. Democracy!

Complete b*llocks Money!
VAT & Import Taxes: Food - Voted no every time. Random UKPP Congressmen have launched three of these proposals this term. Not once have they discussed it with Congress beforehand (I've never seen this trio post in Congress even once) and when confronted, other UKPP members claim it's "UKPP policy" and something about max tariffs. Apparently they believe this exempts them from being involved with the rest of the country. None of the proposals were supported by the MoF, but they did eventually manage to shove one through.

Vat & Import Taxes: Weapons - Voted no. Same crap as food.

MOVING TICKETS. LOL.

VAT & Import Taxes: Grain - Voted no. Similarly to food & weapons, I haven't seen any reason why changing this is a good thing. Props to Arhivator though, he is VERY active in Congress.

Work Tax - I abstained on the first vote. Voted yes to 2% the second time. Voted no to changing back to 1%. This is an eternal battle. Our adorable MoF ArgoFookYourself weighed in with figures and let us know that at 1% we'd be running at a loss, and at 2% at a small surplus. This was after the first vote had already finished, and I was abstaining until solid evidence was provided. After that obvious answer is obvious.

Donate & Issue Money - Voted yes. Wayne figured out how to grow money.

Minimum Wage - Voted no. Because I just can't be bothered to mess with communes a tiny little bit for no reason.

WARAWR!
Declare War on Norway - Voted yes. This was to help our German bros. \o/

Sweden - Voted yes both times.

Oh look, we're NEing Norway this time! - Yes yes yes.

Canada Peace Proposal - Voted yes. We can fight Canada any time, and needed to focus on Asgard.


Is it really over? I was about to delete my account...

Don't tell me if I missed something because my friend's dad is the President and I'll have you kicked out the country for serious!

There is one more pressing matter that was recently brought to my attention. We have a rogue Congressman named Falalix that apparently does not contribute to super serious Congress business.



A quick search reveals that this player has since changed his name; perhaps it's time for Ser Farts to revive MI5? We have a real threat here!


Your elected representatives want YOU!... to hunt Mongressman Falalix


Oh, and just in case any of you don't have the internet, Congreaseman Arhivator was kind enough to provide the latest football results in this super sekrit leak of the last message sent in Congress Group B.


Ugh...


This was just awful. I'm never making campaign promises again.
If you scrolled this far you might as well click a couple links to better articles:
Rob the Bruce's Stop Dapper competition. Win sh*t and support the NHS.
Neil Lewis' Leanna Decker tribute. Also something about the aforementioned lil b*tch Rob the Bruce.
Madelina de Melrose's answer to Neil Lewis. I can't say which I prefer!
Zaphod.
iAdrastos fighting the good fight! Seriously, great article.

Still there? I genuinely want to know why so please comments ,!?!,
Oh yeah, I'm going to write another Ministry of Everything article for that f*ck Dapper contest. If it goes to plan, it won't even be tangentially related to eRepublik. I think this game sorely needs a little less of this game.

Bye Massacar!