Swann Industries Press Release (Gauteng Diamond Co. Employees: READ)
Day 403, 10:16
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Published in South Africa 
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by
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by Swann Industries
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:
Swann industries in the midst of political crisis
GAUTENG - December 27th, 2008 - Swann Industries is unhappy to announce the bloodless coup that has taken place in South Africa.
Italian invaders have taken over the South African government. "They are trying to destroy the economy," says Balon Swann, Swann Industries chairman of the board, "We need to stand together and wait out the storm, come the next election, we'll get things under control."
Swann Industries warns its employees that the Italian invaders intend to raise the minimum wage to 1000 ZAR. "Naturally, no company can afford to pay that," says Balon Swann. When the minimum wage is increased, Swann Industries will continue to pay employees that remain with the company via donations. Swann Industries also understands if employees want to leave the country to ride out the storm and wants to make it clear that current employee's jobs will remain open to them should they choose to return in the future.
"It is no wonder that the Italians are behind this," says Balon Swann, "anyone familiar with world history knows Italy has been on the 'wrong side' of every world war, and are obviously bitter about getting their arses WHOOPED each time... Italian history really is a joke, I can't wait to see them whooped again next month."
ABOUT SWANN INDUSTRIES - Swann Industries is the sole owner of Gauteng Diamond Co. and Gauteng Gift Co. in Gauteng, South Africa.
Gauteng Diamond Co.
Gauteng Gift Co.
Swann Industries
-END-
Swann industries in the midst of political crisis
GAUTENG - December 27th, 2008 - Swann Industries is unhappy to announce the bloodless coup that has taken place in South Africa.
Italian invaders have taken over the South African government. "They are trying to destroy the economy," says Balon Swann, Swann Industries chairman of the board, "We need to stand together and wait out the storm, come the next election, we'll get things under control."
Swann Industries warns its employees that the Italian invaders intend to raise the minimum wage to 1000 ZAR. "Naturally, no company can afford to pay that," says Balon Swann. When the minimum wage is increased, Swann Industries will continue to pay employees that remain with the company via donations. Swann Industries also understands if employees want to leave the country to ride out the storm and wants to make it clear that current employee's jobs will remain open to them should they choose to return in the future.
"It is no wonder that the Italians are behind this," says Balon Swann, "anyone familiar with world history knows Italy has been on the 'wrong side' of every world war, and are obviously bitter about getting their arses WHOOPED each time... Italian history really is a joke, I can't wait to see them whooped again next month."
ABOUT SWANN INDUSTRIES - Swann Industries is the sole owner of Gauteng Diamond Co. and Gauteng Gift Co. in Gauteng, South Africa.
Gauteng Diamond Co.
Gauteng Gift Co.
Swann Industries
-END-
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Comments
idiota puoi anke donargli lo stipendio, ma loro non potranno lavorare
It won't work, as you'll have to pay your employees 1000 ZAR just for them to work a single day.
That said, extremely trustworthy employees could be paid that much, then donate, say, 998 of it back (except I suspect they may jack up income tax).
RBSA will be providing food and wellness for anyone who needs it.
Not possible because we will update the TAX to 50%. So If emplyers receive 1000, 500 goes to National Treasury (Theocratic Pantheon) and the other 500 to employer.
You will quickly lose money...
However RBSA give me Q5 food please
Oh, my son needs food again, don't worry, i pray for you every day. Gos is with us! There is still hope for you. The hope never dies.
But, my son, i didn't learn you to stel. If you are poor, and you don't have a money, you shouldn't steal, that's not good. God doesn't like that.
but dad... i've nothing.
The only way to live is to steal...
Help me... iknow it's wrong... but i'm forced to do so...
help me dad
help meeeeeeeeeee
HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Get a job. I've heard that minimum wage is awesome here.
I have no intention to try and pay the minimum wage. As I said, i will continue offering my current employees their pay via donations, NOT 1000 ZAR but their current wages.
Heck, I'll pay them in any currency they want. Food and gifts if thats what they want...
What you silly italians don;t understand is by stopping my company from continuing its operations, you have effectively cut off all potential tax revenue you could steal...
Had you had any intelligence at all (I've been to Italy several times, I can assure you they are by no means a very bright bunch) you would have left minimum wage reasonable and set all taxes at something high, like 30%. That way our business could continue, and the national treasurey would take in a lot of ZAR which you could in turn donate to yourselves... but, as we all see, you Italians are a little lacking in brain power...
Swann we just stole 180.000 ZAR... you think we want 200 more?
No.
When you think about ALL the other companies combined..