Spanish Immigrants Declared illegal

Day 1,229, 21:05 • Published in USA USA • by Joe Newton

"Big thinking precedes great achievement."
-Wilfred Peterson


In a recent move by the American Country President, Glove, America has declared that Spain is our new Natural Enemy. Quickly following the declaration, Congress has banned all Spanish foods. The Mexican community in Texas apparently got very angry when the local authorities there burned all the Mexican restaurants. The Texan police apparently believed that the buildings were Spanish. The FBI is reporting that Mexican hate crimes are up 82% since the new announcement.

The army is reportedly very excited to start a new campaign in Spain. When asked to find where Spain was on the map, 41% pointed to Mexico.



The campaign is reportedly going to be centered around Madrid. The stated goal being to build a tribute to the British victory over the Spanish fleet, which was well before America was a nation. We also plan to change Spain's official language to English, and to make all practices of the tango illegal. Mostly because yours truly can't pull it off, and lobbied the Executive branch. In addition, America is helping out its new allies in the alliance Terra. Which means Earth.

It is a good move to support our allies in this European war. I won't call it a world war yet, as it's pretty much just in Europe. Hopefully, the war will expand into America and be exciting. Brozil, Argentina, and France are among some of our new friends I am excited to be fighting with. I should mention the UK, because they want people to know they exist too and are an important country who can do things.





Croatia, our stunning ally and former girlfriend, has been shot by Serbia. Croatia was rushed to one of the now rare Q5 hospitals by it's husband Romania. America came immediately to the Hospital, but we forgot to tell Canada which would come into play later. Romania stepped out for a smoke, and America arrived by Croatia's bedside. We begged forgiveness, and asked to be taken back. There were tears flowing from our eyes, and we were very upset. Croatia said no, they were involved with Romania now. We were heartbroken, and didn't know how we'd go on in life without Croatia. So, we removed their breathing tube and left.

Apparently, Canada had been watching through the looking glass though..and was angry. She approached us, and at first we were delirious with joy to see Canada. We hugged Canada, and she smiled at us. We felt joy. Then Canada asked why we didn't call after the last night we spent together. We felt sweat bead down our collective necks.



Before we could think of a good lie, Canada demanded to know what we were doing with Croatia. We felt our cheeks turning red hot, and told Canada we still love Croatia and always will. Canada didn't appear to take that well, though, because Canada pulled out a Q4 gun. We raised our eyebrows, and asked why only a Q4? Canada said we weren't worth a Q5. We angrily pulled out the Q6 we always carry with us, because Alabama gave it to us for Christmas and we didn't want to awkwardly tell them we live in the North and guns are illegal.

Canada stared at our big gun for some time, with her heart hardening to keep herself from losing her resolve. She pointed her gun at us, but we didn't raise ours. Canada was breathing quickly. She put her finger on the trigger.

Will Canada come around, and accept our one night stands?
Will Canada accept our love for Croatia?
Or will Canada simply shoot us, and free us from the alimony we pay to the UK?

TO BE CONTINUED. O_o