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Smart Ass Answers

Day 718, 07:53 by Hale Kane

The Best Smart Ass Answers Of 2009!!!

SMART ASS ANSWER #6

It was mealtime during an airline flight.

'Would you like dinner?' the flight attendant asked John, seated in front.
'What are my choices?' John asked.
'Yes or no,' she replied.



SMART ASS ANSWER #5

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat, she said, 'Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub.'



SMART ASS ANSWER #4

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, 'Do these turkeys get any bigger?'

The stock boy replied, 'No ma'am, they're dead.'



SMART ASS ANSWER #3

The police officer got out of his car as the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window.
'I've been waiting for you all day,' the officer said.
The kid replied, Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.'
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.



SMART ASS ANSWER #2

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway and noticed a sign
that read: Low Bridge Ahead. Before he knows it, the bridge is right in front of him and his truck gets wedged under it.
Cars are backed up for miles. Finally a police car comes up.
The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, 'Got stuck, huh?'
The truck driver says, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and I ran out of gas.'



SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2009!!

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. 'Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!'

A smart-ass student in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, 'What would you say if tomorrow I
said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?' The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering.
When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said,
'Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.'


A BONUS EXTRA

A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband,

'I feel horrible; I look old and wrinkly and unattractive. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.

 

Comments

Acacia Mason
Acacia Mason Day 718, 08:10

Holy Crap that has to be some of the funniest stuff I have read in a while. Voted!

Citizen B
Citizen B Day 718, 08:16

lol

Citizen B

Triton Holdings
Triton Holdings Day 718, 08:29

Jayson V
Jayson V Day 718, 08:32

nice! voted

TemujinBC
TemujinBC Day 718, 09:12

Muahahah! Laughed and voted and subbed

Ayeshan Dakseus
Ayeshan Dakseus Day 718, 09:47

Epic wins, all of them.

Voted!

Kiel Molten
Kiel Molten Day 718, 10:18

lol u made my day infinitely better!

Jullius
Jullius Day 718, 10:26

WIN WIN AND EPIC WIN!

tml hockey
tml hockey Day 718, 12:16

Congratulations,

YOU WIN.

enilia
enilia Day 718, 12:20

SunshineUnit
SunshineUnit Day 718, 12:35

BRAVO!

Happy-Ness
Happy-Ness Day 718, 13:27

Argityarg
Argityarg Day 718, 14:19

Awesome

Mustache Dictator
Mustache Dictator Day 718, 20:23

ROFL!

Laflamme Industries
Laflamme Industries Day 718, 20:36

LOL amazingly funny xD

Rylde
Rylde Day 719, 01:14

Fuckin hilarious voted and subbed.

supabeasty
supabeasty Day 719, 13:05

ah hehe!

Jsboutin
Jsboutin Day 719, 16:15

A few of these were known ones, at least in french, but a pretty good laugh nonetheless!

I want more!

Duke Leto
Duke Leto Day 719, 16:57

ROFLAMOLOL

Adrianna Karsten
Adrianna Karsten Day 719, 17:26

EPIC LULZ!

Dr. L. Wooten
Dr. L. Wooten Day 719, 19:03

Old, lame.

Raenis
Raenis Day 719, 21:27

funny

marksteele6
marksteele6 Day 720, 03:24

rofl, such a win

Ms.Glasgow
Ms.Glasgow Day 720, 09:24

Lulzy, what an epic win, voted.

Mighty Zontar
Mighty Zontar Day 720, 09:34

Votemaxxxxxx ... MZ

HUH-hah-hah .. HUH-hah-hah ...

GodFatherBear
GodFatherBear Day 1,146, 19:19

Great job, i loved them (:

 
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