Rylde's Running for Congress
Rylde
Well its finally happening for you poor $%#$&^. I'll be running for Congress this election on the 25th in NB on behalf on the CNC. Its a nice low population place where I can buy my way into Congress easily without relying on the local voters. HELL I don't even know who lives in that place. Must be dying newbs that don't know better to move. The only 2 times NB was ever brought up was when we lost it and then when we took it back. Other than that its an unimportant rock of eCanada that we won't let anyone else have. Just cause.
Well I put alot of thought into my platform in the last 30min since I made the decision to run. I can't guarantee the locals a hospital or a defense system to help NB grow. Its in a useless position with a small population and only high wood. Besides last I checked wood wasn't the driving force behind eCanada's economy. Also with eCanada's rebuild funds they will be realistically be going towards higher population area's first and towards the war effort of kicking the Huns outta North America for good.
What I can guarantee my voters this month is a take no bullshit voice in congress that isn't afraid to express his opinion and go against the rest of the sheep in the herd. I also guarantee 5 gold into my own pocket to help out my growing business empire. I produce great canadian products such as Beer and my newly created Tobacco company. Hey beer and cigs is like chips and dip there the perfect combination. If you don't like me as the voice of your province well hell don't vote for me then. I don't need your vote to represent you. I'll personally and this is a Rylde guarantee fly in all the voting power I need to get my seat and the 5 gold cold hard cash reward that comes with becoming a congress member. I can't wait to get in there and be a pain in the $#% for Bassett. Can u believe that guy is the speaker of the house or whatever u call it.
I do plan on making a few positive changes for NB. Like paying for your MT's to get you the hell outta that hole and becoming a decent citizen of this country. As a small business owner myself I support not raising taxes and increasing import taxes. Can u believe 3rd worlders are importing there crap products into our market. Terrible if I want oversea's food I'll go there buy gulash or whatever the hell there selling. Probably putting crack or something into it to. Get the populace hooked.
Quick review is gold in my pocket, flying in voters, being a jackass in congress, stopping 3rd worlder imports, emptying out NB's population and oh yeah I bought my tobacco company off some Hun who was desperate to sell in Sask so I support that war there for my own interests.
Anyways to finish up. Might as well vote for me cause its gonna happen. You can't stop me. Every once in awhile there comes an ass%$#@ who will not be stopped. First was Gangis Kahn. Then along came Stalin. Next was George Bush. Now its my turn. See you in Congress boys
Comments
Laughed so hard 🙂 first!
oh my god that was the best article about congress ever. you have my vote, and i'll even buy my own ticket!
Awesome!
Oilers Suck!
Nice lol. Have you confirmed this with Rainer N?
HAHA excellent! I look forward to seeing you in congress!
Thx for the support SS. I'll send ya a Rylde's Red on the house. Cheers.
You'll be brewing beer come tomorrow night Tem.
HAH!
I do plan on making a few positive changes for NB. Like paying for your MT's to get you the hell outta that hole and becoming a decent citizen of this country.
ohhh, rylde
you never cease to amaze me
Its a gift. I have to use the tools god gave me.
"Just cause."
Nice pun.
Awesome Rylde, awesome, cheers!
lol rylde
Reminds me of Bulworth.
Voted.
Sorry everyone. I encouraged him.
What, oh what, have I done!?! lol
Arrgghh!
voted
best article iv seen yet, good luck in congress god help the world if u ever lead this country
Very funny 😃
Voted once. (tried a second time but it wouldn't let me 🙁 )
i lol'd
Brilliant! I'd fly to NB to vote for you, but I'm afraid that all the mediocrity would rub off on me.
Rylde you can only lead to great things.