Ambient on/off

Sign up

 

Continue

Continue By creating an account you agree to the Terms of Service & Privacy Policy

Penis...

Day 1,884, 18:13 Published in USA USA by Candor

...tone (pron.: /ˈpɛnɨstən/ pen-is-tən) is a small market town and civil parish in the Metropolitan Borough of Barnsley, in South Yorkshire, England, with a population of 10,101 at the 2001 census.





Dear Esteemed Members of the NoS Party Dive Bar:

It is with a heavy heart that I must inform you that we are going to war.


NoS Scout unit set out

However, we must first decide against whom we wish to fight, and with whom we wish to be ally ourselves.

Now as your new President I have been giving this great thought, and introspection.

Here are our choices of friends and enemies based on the empiric evidence of nonsensical compulsion:


Canada


Slovenia


Norway


Serbia


Indonesia


North Korea


Australia


Ireland


NoS Air Force tracking killer giant cat

I would like to choose four of these nations to be enemies, and four to be strong and true allies.

We will then declare war on two of our friends and two of our enemies.

Or three of our friends and one of our enemies.

Or any combination there of.

We also need a party to go to war with in our own nation, and one party to be besties with.

My recommended criteria for friends and enemies is generally based on who we like and don't like. For example, I like a lot of Canadians. So they would therefore be great allies or enemies. See how that works?

Please post your thoughts below, and we will formulate our international terrorism and wars quite logically and begin our world domination soon there after.


NoS on patrol


PARTY NOTES:

1) We still need 60 gold.
2) We need more maple bars.
3) We owe Cyber Witch Milk Duds.
4) We need 400 more members with superior members.

Also, all officer positions are open. Please give yourselves appropriate titles and begin with your duties as soon as possible or later, whichever is more convenient and conducive. Or conductive. Or conjunctive.



Do you play eRepublik for fun? Join us in world domination and dominos:

 

Comments

Cyber Witch
Cyber Witch Day 1,884, 18:30

Milk duds, needs milk duds! You need gold, I have gold. But it will cost you more milk duds. I say we friend Indo, then beat the crap out of them. Just for something different.

Candor
Candor Day 1,884, 18:34

EXACTLY! I see your strategy there...that could work! We'd be all, "Hi, I love you!" and then later at dinner be like, "Ha! Only kidding! I poisoned your soup! Die Indo scum!"

Yeeessssss. OK. Inod should be a "friend". I will inform them immediately.

Gessho
Gessho Day 1,884, 18:40

what if we declare war on Honduras? they don't even exist in the eRep universe and, as a bonus, my ex-wife is from there, so we can really stick it to her.

Candor
Candor Day 1,884, 18:48

God that GOOD Gessho! And quite devious to boot. Let's do it. They'll never see us coming.

Hey, btw, while we are invading, do you think we could bunk with your ex-in laws? Logistically, that would be useful. Otherwise there will be hotel bookings and all that tipping and what not.

Gessho
Gessho Day 1,884, 18:55

sure! ex-wife is awful, but her mother is a sweet little woman who can cook very well.

Phoenix Quinn
Phoenix Quinn Day 1,884, 19:44

Suggest you adopt SFP as besties party because I think that will really annoy the current PP, which can only lead to hilarity.

Candor
Candor Day 1,884, 19:59

Yes, Norm is a very serious fellow...hmmmm. It is always fun to rile the already perpetually angry people...

Hampton H. Hampton
Hampton H. Hampton Day 1,884, 20:05

If you adopt us as besties we would treat you like an enemy, which fits your philosophy I think.

pop George
pop George Day 1,884, 21:41

I jioned but am willing to start a besties party so it can be accused of any and everything

Candor
Candor Day 1,884, 21:58

Well HHH has a good point George. This is a very constructive discussion we have here, I see that now.

We have declared war on Honduras, we will deviously "friend" Indonesia and then stab them in the back, we will "friend" the SFP and yet hate each other...

We can stay with Gessho's ex-in laws in Honduras while attacking too, a bonus.

Ok, who wants to run for Congress? Ew, I guess that depends on which Congress these days. Another dilema. There's the old Congress with 63% of Congress, and the AFA Congress with 37% of Congress...

Someday we can have our own Congress. But we'll need at least three Congressmen or else we'll perpetually tie all of our legislation and no new laws will ever pass.

Gessho
Gessho Day 1,884, 22:19

one more thing: everyone must begin taking Spanish lessons immediately.

first lesson: todo bien, bebe, no necesito preservativo, estoy todo limpio!

Candor
Candor Day 1,884, 22:25

C

Thedillpickl
Thedillpickl Day 1,884, 23:24

SQRT IN YOUR SLEEP
SQRT IN YOUR EYE
SQRT IN YOUR COCKTAIL

Candor
Candor Day 1,884, 23:26

SQRT in my vodka is the best.

Ghost of Tom Joad
Ghost of Tom Joad Day 1,885, 02:37

I've been to a town called Beaver Lick.

Phoenix Quinn
Phoenix Quinn Day 1,885, 03:18

Hmm. I think you should go forward with a Nos Dive Congress. Who cares about voting; it's going to be all about the hookers and blow anyway, no?

Gessho
Gessho Day 1,885, 03:37

hookers & blow... hear him, hear him.

Bia Pandora
Bia Pandora Day 1,885, 07:23

I came for the penis.

Bia Pandora
Bia Pandora Day 1,885, 07:23

I leave sad.

Simulare
Simulare Day 1,885, 09:01

http://www.amazon.com/Hersheys-Milk-Duds-5-Ounce-Pack/dp/B0029JVUAE/

I agree with the frenemy concept. Personally, I think we should smilef**k each of them for reasons that we have not yet determined (apart from the obvious ex-wife thing. that's just common sense)

Serious and eRep are 2 words that should rarely be used in the same sentence. "eRep is a seriously crappy game" is one a few exceptions.

¿Puedo ir al baño?

I am the mayor of Beaver Lick.

Plenty to go around Bia.

Lastly, The names RXX and PXXXXXXX should never be uttered - ever, by anyone loyal to LGQT or SQRT.

yenchizzle
yenchizzle Day 1,885, 13:39

I'm joining this party, When were done with honduras, can we attack Belize? They don't exist yet, but I know a bunch of people down there. Some of them with spacious acreage we could all crash on. That would cut down on the 60 gold you need. I'll start digging a big ass latrine for everyone. See everyone soon!

Candor
Candor Day 1,885, 16:31

Also yenchizzle, it would be useful if Belize had at least one good pub and what not. This is a thristy lot. So if you're going to dig a latrine, dig it close to the nations pub.

mccvi: You are the Mayor of Beaver Lick which will come in handy as we pillage that village one day.

PQ: One day AFA and Unity will each have 48% in their respective Congresses (say that 5 times fast), and we will rule the world with our mere 4%!

Simulare
Simulare Day 1,885, 16:57

Beaver Lick can't be pillaged and we don't look kindly to brute force but we are open to stimulating dialog. Only a cunning linguist can lick Beaver Lick.

Beaver Lick is a thriving community and has various openings that need to be satisfied. Apply within.

poe101591
poe101591 Day 1,885, 17:29

this is with out a doubt the most interesting thing unfolding in eRep atm

Candor
Candor Day 1,885, 18:05

mccvii: That was the pithiest comment to date. We shall treat Beaver Lick hence forth with less tongue-in-cheek, if that will tickle the citizens fancy.

gizmo501
gizmo501 Day 1,885, 19:37

now Candor do you have invasion insurance for this invasion? I am the best invasion insurance salesman I know and do I got a deal for you for only 100,000 gold I will make sure this invasion goes on with as many hitches as I can think of.

Candor
Candor Day 1,885, 19:46

We could use hitches, we have used ropes for eons but the wagons come lose and it slows the advance...

yenchizzle
yenchizzle Day 1,885, 22:32

I have a few pickaxes to use, when the latrine is done.

Viarizi
Viarizi Day 1,886, 00:59

Cant we just attack Poland, airstrike Serbia, wipe Spain, kick Brazils ass, invade Russia and China and finally take over the world? Or start mass ticket campaign to include Africa in game just so we can colonize it?

Phoenix Quinn
Phoenix Quinn Day 1,886, 03:30

Penis. Penis, penis, penis!

Gessho
Gessho Day 1,886, 06:36

i would tell you all to bring condoms when we go for the invasion... but i have already taught everyone how to say "i don't need a condom, i'm totally clean". make sure you ply the local talent with plenty of rum and promises.

Bia Pandora
Bia Pandora Day 1,888, 19:12

Keep licking beavers and I'm in.

 
Post your comment

What is this?

You are reading an article written by a citizen of eRepublik, an immersive multiplayer strategy game based on real life countries. Create your own character and help your country achieve its glory while establishing yourself as a war hero, renowned publisher or finance guru.