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Ministry of Truth on: Scotagary

20 Day 599, 11:37 United Kingdom
The Ministry of Truth currently finds itself immensely exasperated by warmongering, dishonest citizens, local or inferior, who claim that Scotagary is rightfully a part of the United Kingdom, and thus publishes this article for the peruse of all citizens so that they may be convinced that Scotagary is, and has always been part of Hungary.


The image link should say "flag of scotagary". We will execute the computer guy who made this mistake.

In 450 AD, Attila the Hun, Scourge of Rome, struck across the Danube into what would currently be called Denmark. Believing he was at the northernmost part of the world, he launched the ultimate goal of all of his conquests - to defeat the God of Gods, a figure in Hun mythology, who was the Emperor of the Northern Lands far across the sea.


The territories of Attila the Hun

Therefore, he constructed great catapults and used them to launch a large army into the sea, in the general northern direction. His army landed in what is now Scotagary, and conquered the people that were present in those lands, after which they stole the ships and sailed back.


This big!

There was of course no emperor, but the lieutenant of the operation, fearing an execution, dressed up a fat old Scot in glorious red wool with a pointy hat, called him Emperor of the North, and made him bow before Attila. A picture of him was found, and is shown below.


This is probably someone's secret fetish.

William Wallace, who was of course a Hun and whose real name was Dorika Marianna, successfully held off English attempts to occupy Scotagary and established Scottish dependence. When Hungary emerged, Scotagary immediately rejoined its mother country.

That is why Scotagary was, is, and ever will be rightfully a part of Hungary. The Minsitry of Truth wishes all citizens to constantly remember this fact, and cease attempts to lobby the government into taking it back.

The fact that the territory is currently named Scotland, and that a resistance war can be started in it, is a common bug. We have petitioned for the bug's removal.

The Ministry of Truth further stresses that no war has erupted over the region. We have proof: People who claim that Scotagary was recently attacked have had an alarmingly large rate of suddenly disappearing in the night forever. Clearly, natural selection is taking place.

Non-Scotagarian immigrants in Scotagary should learn the following phrases so as to properly greet their Hungarian masters.

Hello....Beszél magyarul (frm)
Can I have it deep-fried?...............Ez mennyibe kerül? Mennyibe kerül ez?
Are you lookin' at my bird? ..........Beszélsz magyarul? (inf)
Are you lookin' at my Irn Bru?..........Igen, egy kicsit?
Can you lend me some money?...........Hogyan mondjam magyarul ... ?
Ya GobShite!.............Elnézést!
Leave me alone!...............Hagyjon engem békén!
Stop, you're hurting me!..........Bocsánat!
Thank you........K?sz?n?m szépen
I, for one, welcome my new Hungarian overlords..........Hány mas Hol van a mosdó

---



The last part was copied from a forum post by Moolick with his permission.

Also: THIS IS A JOKE. Do not take seriously.

 
Report comments
 
mogwaiii
25
mogwaiii Day 599, 11:38

impeach!!!!!!

 
Baron Saturday
21
Baron Saturday Day 599, 11:43

haha can't go wrong with a few 1984 references. good job

 
Yonsil
28
Yonsil Day 599, 12:11

wow can you troll any better than this?

 
Robalbinio
27
Robalbinio Day 599, 12:19

great as always

 
Kitchen.Sink
27
Kitchen.Sink Day 599, 12:30

Anytime is the right time for satire. Voted.

 
Quikfen
21
Quikfen Day 599, 12:54

\o/
Who's the 2 minutes hate directed at today, BB?

 
Hethor
24
Hethor Day 599, 12:58

Genius

 
Jim Timber
23
Jim Timber Day 599, 13:55

10/10. We should be friends...

 
M Holdings
Or
M Holdings Day 599, 17:58

If you have eRep+ and translate the article the 'translations' are unintentionally amusing.

 
Jazar
37
Jazar Day 599, 18:03

xD

 
Mahmoud Ibn Abdullah
24
Mahmoud Ibn Abdullah Day 599, 19:05

More like Hungaroland, amirite?

 
Banach
24
Banach Day 600, 17:52

Fellow friends in the United Kingdom,

Your administration has been taken over by PEACE-loving puppets and has been steadily tarnishing the reputation of a once-proud
eNation. We Canadians have fought side by side with you for many months, UK's paratroopers and Canada's rangers fighting and dying for
the cause of freedom.

Now, after months of friendship, this hostile government, as foreign to you, the citizens, as it is to us, the Canadians over the Ocean,
is prepared to take out liberty away in exchange for proptection from Hungary.

The UK officials are dishounarable and cowardly in their motives and are backstabbing us, and furthermore, our allies.

To all UK citizens who still support liberty of innocent nations, pick up your bags, move to Alberta or Ontario, and help defend Canada!

I will personally take money out of my own pocket to make sure that British civilians who help defend us from Imperialism are equipped with a weapon.

How do you want to be remembered:

"Better to die on your feet than to live on your knees."

 
Vulcain
41
Vulcain Day 600, 17:55

Fellow friends in the United Kingdom,

Your administration has been taken over by PEACE-loving puppets and has been steadily tarnishing the reputation of a once-proud
eNation. We Canadians have fought side by side with you for many months, UK's paratroopers and Canada's rangers fighting and dying for
the cause of freedom.

Now, after months of friendship, this hostile government, as foreign to you, the citizens, as it is to us, the Canadians over the Ocean,
is prepared to take out liberty away in exchange for proptection from Hungary.

The UK officials are dishounarable and cowardly in their motives and are backstabbing us, and furthermore, our allies.

To all UK citizens who still support liberty of innocent nations, pick up your bags, move to Alberta or Ontario, and help defend Canada!

I will personally take money out of my own pocket to make sure that British civilians who help defend us from Imperialism are equipped with a weapon.

How do you want to be remembered:

"Better to die on your feet than to live on your knees."

 
Balthamel
20
Balthamel Day 601, 05:26

Fellow rumourmongers in Canada,

Your administration has been taken over by FORTIS-loving puppets and has been steadily tarnishing the reputation of a once-proud
eNation. We Brits have fought side by side with you for many months, UK's paratroopers and Canada's rangers fighting and dying for
the cause of freedom.

Now, after months of friendship, this hostile government, as foreign to you and your citizens, as it is to us, the Brits over the Ocean,
is prepared to take your liberty away in exchange for protection from the USA (lol what a concept). However don't worry we in the UK are planning a daring ruse to free you from the American tyranny. Very soon we are and your Hungarian friends will be sending troops your way to liberate you from Emericks clutches

The Canadian officials are dishounarable and cowardly in their motives and are backstabbing you, and leaving you open to attack by allowing themselves to be bullied by the USA. They are not acting in the best interests of your country.

To all Canadian citizens who still support liberty of innocent nations, pick up your bags, move to Northern Island or Scotland, and help reclaim Canada!

I will personally take money out of my own pocket to make sure that Canadian civilians who help reclaim Canada from American Imperialism are equipped with a weapon.

How do you want to be remembered:

"Better to have fun on your feet than to whine on your knees."

 
Ayame Crocodile
24
Ayame Crocodile Day 601, 05:54

haha best thing ive read in a while!

 
Zagadee
23
Zagadee Day 601, 07:43

Pure genius

 
Emerick
31
Emerick Day 601, 09:06

>Fellow rumourmongers in Canada,

Haha. See, it's funny because the UK was turned against Fortis with rumors and hearsay.

 
ThomasR26
22
ThomasR26 Day 601, 09:39

PEACE at home, PEACE in the world

 
Daws007
21
Daws007 Day 601, 10:40

lmao A funny Troll

 
adolfus rouge
23
adolfus rouge Day 603, 01:45

rofl gud 1 litro