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Ministry of Peace on: 5 ways to DESTROY the US without conquering it permanently
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This is a SECRET REPORT and NOT TO BE PUBLISHED. Perpetrators will be thoroughly loved in the Ministry of Love, and then sent through a paper shredder funnel into the huge incinerator in the Ministry of Truth. Your death will be tripleungood and secret.
We have held many meetings with the PEACE overlords, meeting that are a mixture of unlimited misanthropy and delightful cruelty, giving birth to monstrous plans of Frankensteinian deviousness. They concern the matter of how to utterly destroy the eUSA without holding its territories, and to bring woe to many thousands of eCitizens.
Five general methods were devised, and they are listed as follows.
5. The SWITCHEROO
Gold Cost: Very High
The plan is to first conquer the eUSA. That is easy to do; it is holding their territories that troubles us. But we need not do so: We can thoroughly devastate their lands with the following method, then release them to the eUSA in mockery and mirth.
A. Conquer the entirety of the eUSA with one country.
B. Hold it for a week. Companies in the eUSA will be forced to purchase licenses.
C. Use another country to conquer the eUSA. This country must be at war with the previous country.
D. Hold it for another week. Companies in the eUSA will again be forced to purchase licenses.
E. Repeat until all possible countries have had the delight of conquering the eUSA.
F. American companies, unable to buy so many export licenses, will be forced to declare bankruptcy.
The one or two companies that actually have enough money to survive this onslaught will look somewhat like this.
Some would say we photoshopped this. They are wrong. We used Paint.
Indeed, this costs quite a few thousand gold to do, but PEACE does have that much gold, while American companies do not. Almost all of them will wither and die, and Americans will lose their faith in the game as their companies become suddenly useless.
It will be quite hilarious if this happens at the end:
If there is no such limit, we will ask for one. And we will get one.
4. The RAID
Cost: High
The plan is simple. We allow the eUS to exist, but we destroy all of its hospitals. And we keep destroying them.
Gaaaah.
We then liberate the territories and repeat ad infinitum.
The eUS will be completely unable to fight any wars in the future. Their citizens will be forced to leave if they want to gain more than 3 xp every day, or if they want to keep up their wellness. Newer citizens will die, slowly.
And Gobba will publish a new feature to celebrate this. The dots represent the tears of the newbies who can no longer keep up their wellness.
3. The DEPRESSION
Cost: Very High
This is already underway. We are frankly surprised the Ameicans have not noticed this. Their government continues to issue money and send them to the Congressional Budget quite frequently, but they do not wonder who is purchasing their USD so quickly.
PEACE has that much money, yes. A hundred times that.
And one day.
*snort*
It'll be like when Serbia was flooded with a huge amount of currency, except this money is real. And the admins know about this. Sometimes, when they get drunk during their Saturday night beer-a-thons, they start talking and laughing about what will inevitably happen to the American economy.
2. The TRAP
Cost: Low
This is beautiful.
We will let some weak country with almost no people, say Pakistan, take over the United States. We set the currency at, say, 30 PKR per 1 gold. We will then let the Americans successfully take over the congress and presidency. They will think that Pakistan is the new United States, and will not want to liberate eUS, especially if we build a few hospitals and defense systems here and there.
Little did they know that we would have done this:
Did you go check Pakistan's national history? You did, didn't you? If you haven't, are you sure it's a good idea not to?
It is easy to do; we simply let a PEACE-run company invest gold, collect it back, invest it back, etc. in order to fill up the Pakistani gold treasury quickly.
The 5 looks cut out because the number is too big. Not because of our lack of Paint skills.
But we don't hold it in the country treasury. We donate it all to a single organization.
And we only need one person who wants to screw over the US hold the password to this organization.
We launch our trap. We now have an obscene amount of money in an organization that can do whatever it wants with it. Since money is issued at 200 currency per 1 gold, this will cost much less than the previous plan. We can slowly buy out gold at the "standard" rate of 30 PKR per 1 gold until we have more than six times as much gold as we used. We can screw with the economy. We can keep buying "American" weapons and donating them to PEACE. Be creative!
1. The TAKEOVER
COST: Very low.
The Americans believe that they cannot be taken over.
Heh.
We only need to conquer 26 states. Any 26 states. Then, at 23:59 on the 22nd, resistance wars will start in each and every one of them. We will ensure all of them succeed. PEACE members in the eUS will be waiting in these regions. And at 23:59 on the 23rd, they will apply for congress. There will only be one congress candidate in each of those states - a PEACE candidate.
A beautiful, but real nightmare.
The eUS is doomed.
---
I am not responsible for the resulting mental and emotional anguish if any of those plans are later implemented.
---
This is a SECRET REPORT and NOT TO BE PUBLISHED. Perpetrators will be thoroughly loved in the Ministry of Love, and then sent through a paper shredder funnel into the huge incinerator in the Ministry of Truth. Your death will be tripleungood and secret.
We have held many meetings with the PEACE overlords, meeting that are a mixture of unlimited misanthropy and delightful cruelty, giving birth to monstrous plans of Frankensteinian deviousness. They concern the matter of how to utterly destroy the eUSA without holding its territories, and to bring woe to many thousands of eCitizens.
Five general methods were devised, and they are listed as follows.
5. The SWITCHEROO
Gold Cost: Very High
The plan is to first conquer the eUSA. That is easy to do; it is holding their territories that troubles us. But we need not do so: We can thoroughly devastate their lands with the following method, then release them to the eUSA in mockery and mirth.
A. Conquer the entirety of the eUSA with one country.
B. Hold it for a week. Companies in the eUSA will be forced to purchase licenses.
C. Use another country to conquer the eUSA. This country must be at war with the previous country.
D. Hold it for another week. Companies in the eUSA will again be forced to purchase licenses.
E. Repeat until all possible countries have had the delight of conquering the eUSA.
F. American companies, unable to buy so many export licenses, will be forced to declare bankruptcy.
The one or two companies that actually have enough money to survive this onslaught will look somewhat like this.
Some would say we photoshopped this. They are wrong. We used Paint.
Indeed, this costs quite a few thousand gold to do, but PEACE does have that much gold, while American companies do not. Almost all of them will wither and die, and Americans will lose their faith in the game as their companies become suddenly useless.
It will be quite hilarious if this happens at the end:
If there is no such limit, we will ask for one. And we will get one.
4. The RAID
Cost: High
The plan is simple. We allow the eUS to exist, but we destroy all of its hospitals. And we keep destroying them.
Gaaaah.
We then liberate the territories and repeat ad infinitum.
The eUS will be completely unable to fight any wars in the future. Their citizens will be forced to leave if they want to gain more than 3 xp every day, or if they want to keep up their wellness. Newer citizens will die, slowly.
And Gobba will publish a new feature to celebrate this. The dots represent the tears of the newbies who can no longer keep up their wellness.
3. The DEPRESSION
Cost: Very High
This is already underway. We are frankly surprised the Ameicans have not noticed this. Their government continues to issue money and send them to the Congressional Budget quite frequently, but they do not wonder who is purchasing their USD so quickly.
PEACE has that much money, yes. A hundred times that.
And one day.
*snort*
It'll be like when Serbia was flooded with a huge amount of currency, except this money is real. And the admins know about this. Sometimes, when they get drunk during their Saturday night beer-a-thons, they start talking and laughing about what will inevitably happen to the American economy.
2. The TRAP
Cost: Low
This is beautiful.
We will let some weak country with almost no people, say Pakistan, take over the United States. We set the currency at, say, 30 PKR per 1 gold. We will then let the Americans successfully take over the congress and presidency. They will think that Pakistan is the new United States, and will not want to liberate eUS, especially if we build a few hospitals and defense systems here and there.
Little did they know that we would have done this:
Did you go check Pakistan's national history? You did, didn't you? If you haven't, are you sure it's a good idea not to?
It is easy to do; we simply let a PEACE-run company invest gold, collect it back, invest it back, etc. in order to fill up the Pakistani gold treasury quickly.
The 5 looks cut out because the number is too big. Not because of our lack of Paint skills.
But we don't hold it in the country treasury. We donate it all to a single organization.
And we only need one person who wants to screw over the US hold the password to this organization.
We launch our trap. We now have an obscene amount of money in an organization that can do whatever it wants with it. Since money is issued at 200 currency per 1 gold, this will cost much less than the previous plan. We can slowly buy out gold at the "standard" rate of 30 PKR per 1 gold until we have more than six times as much gold as we used. We can screw with the economy. We can keep buying "American" weapons and donating them to PEACE. Be creative!
1. The TAKEOVER
COST: Very low.
The Americans believe that they cannot be taken over.
Heh.
We only need to conquer 26 states. Any 26 states. Then, at 23:59 on the 22nd, resistance wars will start in each and every one of them. We will ensure all of them succeed. PEACE members in the eUS will be waiting in these regions. And at 23:59 on the 23rd, they will apply for congress. There will only be one congress candidate in each of those states - a PEACE candidate.
A beautiful, but real nightmare.
The eUS is doomed.
---
I am not responsible for the resulting mental and emotional anguish if any of those plans are later implemented.
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I lol'd so hard.
It never fails to amaze me how confident and arrogant the US remain even in the face of complete and utter annihilation by "them bloody europe-types".
Yea because it is a great idea to expect and accept defeat in a war. The French have been doing it forever and it works great.
Thanks for the comments
I anticipate trolling, flaming, and the such. It will be fun to read those fiery comments.
And more votes. That's the important thing.
i lol'd at fake quote.
We likes.
Some of your plans involved insane amounts of gold being used (lets face it, when were talking these amounts the US will laugh at you for having to spend real life money to keep up even half of it) even though theyre good concepts.
Some of them expect all PEACE countries to be selfless and not try to backstab other PEACE countries.
And lets face it, you wont succeed with 26 simaltenous resistance wars, even the US is not that stupid.
And i dont think pakistan would take kindly to screwing their country lol.
The depression idea is just stupid , it gives the US an awful lot of work to gold with, PEACE does not have infinite gold.
The raid idea is ok but.. Even having no Hospitals allows the US to exist, and who knows what will happen in 6 months time. what if Hungary turns out to be the evil empire that conquer all other PEACE countries? What if indonesia quits?
The switcheroo is just the worst idea though. No country is going to like the idea of being at war with another PEACE country so freely and having to have to submit to its regions being taken by them.
If those were doable, I would've sent them to the PEACE council secretly rather than publishing them
Roy, if we win in a single war, all US allies against all PEACE allies. No mater how many war there is, the superiority on damages are still on the same side. The US can not do more damage than they can, so in the end, all it will take is to adapt on which regions the USA are fighting more to win.
Let's say you can do a total of 10 000 000 damages in a war, if PEACE can do 11 000 000 then wether you divides thoses damages into 2, 10, 20, or 50 wars the results are the same. Of course it will be more complicated and easier for the US to win a battle by concentrating damages in one place, but still.. ^^
Very interesting.
Soon the international bullies will die.
>1. The TAKEOVER
>COST: Very low.
Moving tickets cost money dont they?
good stuff. voted.
haha genius!
I'd a great laugh, even if it's at the expense of my nation
I would like to buy Hawaii, 50 PKR, thank you.
Clearly we should do all of these.
-Matt
Voted and Subscribed because of this pure awsomeness!
Great stuff, as always!
Glad I subscribed to this.
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VOTE THEM ALL UP, please!!!
makes sense
\o/ Epic article!
>>And Gobba will publish a new feature to celebrate this. The dots represent the tears of the newbies who can no longer keep up their wellness.
That part had me rolling.
I did get a good laugh out of the article. Especially "The Trap" if you guys would please pull that one I want a PM right away. Every MM trader in the game will want that PM as well.
Haha, it cracks me up to see these desperate PEACE idiots donating real money for a browser based game.
@Samir Ros LOL you honestly believe there are no eAmericans fervently buying gold to defend their country?. The only difference between the 2 is that when a PEACE buys gold to fight he wins when an American player buys gold to fight he loses.
This is such a brilliant article (not because I hate the USA but the way your mind works is genius !)
NICE
Flippin' A.W.E.S.O.M.E.
Voted.
wow... reading these ideas gave me some chuckles indeed, but most of them are doomed to fail
Most of the ideas require ALL the eUS population to have 15 IQ not to notice and adapt, and all the ideas would unravel with the slightest mistake
Also, as mentioned before... this is a ridiculous amount of gold you are talking about. An amount that is impossible to maintain.
In the end, it's just propoganda used to flip eUS ppl to PEACE and to make other PEACE members feel good about themselves... hope the time it took to do all that was worth it lol
Hah. Ironically, one of those five will actually happen to the UK, which will be much, much easier to conquer. Maybe we'll just throw your tea into the Atlantic again.
>PEACE does not have infinite gold.
Or do they? Dun dun duuuun..
>The only difference between the 2 is that when a PEACE buys gold to fight he wins when an American player buys gold to fight he loses.
Utterly wrong. When anyone buys gold for any purpose, they lose.
PEACE doesn't "liberate" America very well.
will any 1 atkk the us im getting sick of those stupid yankees
erm....
dude above...WAKE UP! theres bloody war goin on right now moron!
good article....i still think these ideas are cuntish though...
HAHAHAHA
good luck.
Lolageness. Nice ideas of taking over the eUS. Maybe you should use them xD
""Some would say we photoshopped this. They are wrong. We used Paint.""
ahah made me laugh
die yanks, die!
Awesome...cant we combine all 5 some how...
and i lol'd at 5...PEACE ftw...PEACeUK!
wow
Lol on article. kick the uswp out of power.
HAHAHAHAHA!!!! ...you are really idiots if you think some of this is gonna work!! xDDDD
oh, wait i have an idea HOW TO DESTROY THE WORLD:
-first I buy ALL the money in the world in my own organization(not thinking that the amount of money(gold) is ALWAYS growing...)
-then I get a giant cow and say: "MUUUU" ( GROWL!! )
-and for the end I will wrote an "idiot" article...lol
xDDD ...
subscribed & voted, please subscribe to my newspaper too.
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