Lana PTOs eRepublik HQ
Ailurus fulgens
Click here to enlarge
As many of you have surely heard by now, the eRepublik admins have introduced a controversial new module to the game which allows players to pay gold, purchasable with real-world currency, to improve their strength stats on a daily basis to the lusty temptress known as Lana.
Here are the obvious questions.
Who is Lana? Why does she want my money?
How exactly am I getting stronger from my daily rendezvous with her?
Thanks to some super-sleuthing done by Norwegian double-agents embedded in Soviet intelligence, the StassiNet has confirmed our suspicions of her loyalty: she is a spy working for the USSR.
Identity Revealed
[img]http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/cnc/images/b/bb/Commander_Zhana.JPG[/img]
Zhana "Lana" Agonskaya, former Soviet Air Force commander. Your cover is blown, you two-timing succubus! She has put her mind, her spirit, and (especially) her body on the line for the former-PEACE state of Russia.
It is suspected that "Lana" has used her "assets" to breach even the highest levels of eRepublik data security thanks to those long nights at the office, where watching scantily-clad Lana have pillow fights with her Russian girlfriends was the only thing motivating developers to maintain the game's operation. She quickly rose through the ranks and used her influence to stop patching security vulnerabilities that have allowed Russian bot-nets to recursively invite countless thousands of illegal clone accounts, earning 5g per invite. Now, with all of Russia's stockpiled invitation bonus gold, they are relying on Lana to execute one final mission:
Give Mother Russia the means to purchase unparalleled military strength...
to crush EDEN once and for all!
The admins have added a CAPTCHA human verification system to every mundane action to hinder the bot threat. Unfortunately, this is aggravating for the already-enraged eRepublik players, especially the more experienced players who have earned their strength through dedicating themselves to daily training.
If you want to help put an end to this madness, you can join the 4000+ post-long official petition on the forums:
http://www.erepublik.com/en/forum/topic/144842/please-do-not-let-us-pay-for-more-strength
This is the StassiNet newspaper reporting live from the offices of hX.Stassi in Ostlandet, eNorway.
http://wiki.erepublik.com/images/0/0c/N204439.jpg" width="150" height="150">
If you enjoy the StassiNet newspaper, please support it with your votes and subscription!
Top 5 international articles protesting the admins' decision:
* Goodbye erepublik!
* ADMINS YOU HAVE KILLED THE GAME
* (World)When I Grow Up...
* lana? personal trainer?! GOLD?!
* I SURE AM UPSET ABOUT THE TRAINING CRAP
Comments
Flott artikkel! <3
voted for the decider
hahahaha
/mln81
I knew it, it had to be a conspiracy!
Love the graphics 😃
Lana,I Love You 😛
LOL....
Red alert 3 😁
vote
Yeah totally Red Alert 3 😃
I loled 😃
KGB???
Lana Banely
Lana real photo =
http://www.mangahunter.com/images/natasha-red-alert-3.jpg">http://www.mangahunter.com/images/natasha-red-alert-3.jpg
nice work
v and s
rofl
lana is ok 😛
What about ads? You used your gold to advertise this, therefore using your gold to put your article above the rest. It's the same principle just applied to newspapers.
😁
She is worth the price xD
Lana is our HERO !
stancel: That was actually me paying the ads (without asking Andreas for permission), just wanted to see how effective it'd be 😛 And it was.
I'm glad that new otions and notes is being installed.
vote+ sub
lol
heivoll, you are an awesome friend
Hehe, just thought the article and newspaper deserved more publicity. For the cost of 0.2 more gold than a training session with Napoleon.
Voted for showing bush in a positive light.
LOL
ADMIN EPIC FAIL !
SIGN http://www.PetitionOnline.com/20061991/p[..]tml?" target="_blank">http://www.PetitionOnline.com/20061991/p[..]tml?
SIGN http://www.erepublik.com/en/forum/topic/[..]gth/1" target="_blank">http://www.erepublik.com/en/forum/topic/[..]gth/1
unfortunately... she had artificial breasts
I prefer Autumn Reeser, myself
Wanna know what the kind of occupation that is?
-> Read the name Lana reverse. 😉
hehe
"You have not paid today"
Lol I agree
I hate her !!
lol
voted
LOLZ! Funny! But I thing the woman that ask us money, looks more like Tanya from RA2! So maybe it's not a comunist conspiracy but an American! 😛
Nice Article!
Look here..
http://www.aeropause.com/wordpress/archives/images/2008/08/kari_tanya.jpg" target="_blank">http://www.aeropause.com/wordpress/archi[..]a.jpg
Communism is coming ! 🙂
Voted
epic article is epic.
😃
Oh, damn! We have been uncovered!
But it is too late! The Great Red Conspiracy will soon be victorious! Ha ha ha!
xD
v
this is retarded
DECIDER IZ ZE BEST
😃 Special Agent Tanya
rofl
jangan lebay plis..
IT'S OVER 9000!
ANTI LANA
http://www.erepublik.com/en/article/-please-vote-17540-user-votes-vs-admins-1083073/1/20" target="_blank">http://www.erepublik.com/en/article/-ple[..]/1/20
voted
Lol love the picture