Iskusenje!!

Day 2,106, 16:02 • Published in Serbia Serbia • by Panda monium



Pustinja...Svuda oko mene samo pesak i suncevi zraci...I nista vise...


Koracam,ali nista se ne menja horizont ostaje isti..Veliko nistavilo koje kao da uranja u neko jos vece!!Polako i krajnje nesigurno idem dalje...I ako ne znam da li sam svakim korakom blize cilju ili se samo od njega udaljavm ne odustaje...Idem...

Cak ne znam ni sta mi je cilj i konacno odrediste ipak idem dalje...Kroz pesak po uzarenom suncu...

VODAAAAAA...Tako mi treba sada!!Cini mi se da mogu da osetim njen ukus,cak je i namirisati mogu...Da kako da ne ona nema ukusa ni mirisa,jos kako ga ima!!Pa osecam sve to ne mozete da me ubedite u drugacije!!!

Zasto nigde nema mojih neprijatelja!!Bar da su mi oni ovde da imam sa kim koju rec da prozborim...Ali nema ni njih...Nisam verovao da ce da mi nedostaju,ali eto...Sav ovaj pesak bih zamenio za jednog pravog i iskrenog neprijatelja...

HEJ!!Cujem neki glas...Mozda je halucinacija...Ali ipak je glas!!Idem ka njemu!!

-Odustani...Ovo je tvoj grob i pomiri se sa tim!!Samo lezi tu i sve muke ti prestaju!!

-NECU!!!Idem dalje...

-Samo jos vece patnje te cekaju!!

-Neka...Idem ja dalje!!Ja verujem!!

-Patnja ce biti veca od bilo koje tvoje vere...Ipak ces pasti!!

-Necu..Ja verujem i idem dalje...

Nestade...I ostade samo pesak koji cini mi se tece mojim venama!!Ne smem da padnem..Moram da nastavim dalje!!

Vreme protice...Sunce kao da nema nameru da zadje,ima li ovde u opste noci??Koliko vec traje ovaj dan...Nemam ni sat,kako da odredim vreme...Pescani sat...Kakva ironija on mi pada na pamet!!

-Odustani...

-Ponovo ti..Nedostajao si mi!!Znas li mozda koliko je sati??

-Odustani...Neces uspeti...Prekini svoju patnju i odmori se!!

-Ne znas ni ti koje je vreme...Mozda cu negde dalje sresti nekoga ko ima sat!!Naravno ne pescani!!

Ovo mi je poznato..Kao da sam vec ovuda prosao!!Mada ovde je sve isto...Ko zna da li cu ikada i videti bilo sta osim ovog peska...


-Vidi ovo te ceka ako odustanes!!Sve je tvoje!!Samo se polako spusti i sve ovo te ceka!!

-Sve to samo za mene??

-Da!!Sve sto ovde vidis tvoje je...Samo treba da kazes pao sam i izgubio!!

-NE!!Nikada!!!Ne mozes da me pobedis!!Shvati i odustani!!Ja necu!!Necu da padnem!!Neces uzivati u mom porazu!!Ni ovde niti na bilo kom drugom mestu!!Ne gubim!!Rodjen sam da pobedim i pobedicu!!Moja vera ce me izbaviti i od tebe i od ovog prokletog peska!!A sada me pusti da idem dalje i ne zadrzavaj me...

-Pasces i neces imati nista...


-I to nisa je moje!!Ako je to nagrada za moju istrajnost i borbu onda je sa ponosom prihvatam!!Cujes li me!??To je moja nagrada samo moja!!Tvoje necu...Idi od mene...

Zasto postaje hladnije??Kao da osecam neki hladni vetar??I neki drugi miris??Moram napred...MORAM...Imam ja snage za to!!!

Kao da cujem talase??DAAAAAAAA more spasen sam!!

Hvala ti Boze!!

Temptation!!

Desert… Everywhere around me just sand and sunlight… And nothing more…

I’m strolling, but nothing is changing the horizon stays the same… A big blank which seems to be immersing into an even bigger one!! Slowly and most unsecurely I move on… Even though I don’t know am I getting closer to my goal by each step or getting further away, I’m not giving up… I’m moving on…

I don’t know even know what my goal and final destination are, but I’m moving on… Through the sand and blazing sun…

WATEEEEEEER… I really need it now!! It seems to me that I can taste it, even smell it… Right, it doesn’t have any flavor nor scent, for sure it does!! Well I’m feeling all that and you can’t convince me otherwise!!!

Why are my enemies nowhere to be found!! At least if they were here so I could chat with them a word, or two… But they’re not here… I didn’t believe that I was gonna miss them, but… I would trade all this sand for one true and honest enemy…

HEY!! I hear a voice… It’s a hallucination maybe… But still a voice!! I’m going toward him!!

- Give up… This is your grave, make peace with it!! Just lay here and all your troubles stop!!

- NOOO!!! I’m moving on…

- Even more suffering awaits you!!

- Nevermind… I’m moving on!! I believe!!

- The suffering will be greater than any of your faith… You will still fall!!

- I won’t… I believe and I’m moving on…

He disappeared… And all that’s left is the sand that I think is running through my veins!! I must not fall… I have to move on!!

Time goes by… The Sun doesn’t seem to have the intention to set, is there night around here?? How long is the day… I don’t even have a watch, how to tell time… A sand clock… What an irony, he crosses my mind!!

- Give up…

- You again… I missed you!! Do you know what time it is??

- Give up… You won’t make it… End your suffering and rest!!

- Even you don’t know what time it is… Maybe I’ll later meet someone who has a watch!! Not a sand clock of course!!

This seems familiar… Like I already passed through here!! Although everything is the same here… Who knows if I will ever see anything else but this sand…

- Look what is waiting for you if you give up!! All is yours!! Just slowly drop down and all this waits for you!!

- All that, just for me??

- Yes!! All you see here, yours… All you have to say is I fell and lost!!

- NO!! Never!! You can’t beat me!! Realize that and give up!! I won’t!! I’m not falling down!! You won’t enjoy my defeat!! Not here, not anywhere!! I’m not losing!! I’m born to wind, and I’ll win!! My faith will save me from you and this damn sand!! And now let me continue and don’t hold me back…

- You will fall down and you’ll have nothing…

- And that nothing is mine!! If that is the reward for my persistence and struggle than I accept it with pride!! Do you hear me!?? That reward is only mine!! I don’t want yours… Go away from me…

Why is it becoming colder?? It’s like I can feel a cold wind?? And some other scent?? I need to move forward… I NEED TO… I have the strenght for it!!!

Am I hearing waves?? YEEEEEEEEEEEEES sea, I’m saved!!

Thank you God!!



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