96
I, Octavian_F, also have a poltically-motivated annoucement to make:
Hello everyone, I have a SUPER BIG announcement for you:
Since its all the rage now to post your desire for candidacy for Prime Minister weeks before the actual election, and because everyone is jumping the bandwagon and we've got at least 6 articles out there pretending like its election time again, I figured I'd mindlessly follow my colleagues and post my candidacy too.
Therefore I just wanna let ya'll know that I intend to run in the PM elections next month.
My Cabinet:
Its not exactly finished, and I don't have all the positions I want, or even in the way that I want them, but here is the rough beta version of my cabinet:
Prime Minister (PM)
-Octavian_F
Deputy Prime Minister (DPM)
-Not sure which candidate will bring me the most political power yet, but I'll let you know when I figure it out.
Minister of Finance (MoF)
-Not sure which candidate will bring me the most political power yet, but I'll let you know when I figure it out.
Minister of Defense (MoD)
-Not sure which candidate will bring me the most political power yet, but I'll let you know when I figure it out.
Minister of Foreign Affairs (MoFA)
-Not sure which candidate will bring me the most political power yet, but I'll let you know when I figure it out.
Minister of Politics. Also know as Minister of otherwise useless, but politically motivated cabinet posts (MoP)
-Not sure which candidate will bring me the most political power yet, but I'll let you know when I figure it out.
-Not sure which candidate will bring me the most political power yet, but I'll let you know when I figure it out.
-Not sure which candidate will bring me the most political power yet, but I'll let you know when I figure it out.
-Not sure which candidate will bring me the most political power yet, but I'll let you know when I figure it out.
-Not sure which candidate will bring me the most political power yet, but I'll let you know when I figure it out.
-Not sure which candidate will bring me the most political power yet, but I'll let you know when I figure it out.
-Not sure which candidate will bring me the most political power yet, but I'll let you know when I figure it out.
-Not sure which candidate will bring me the most political power yet, but I'll let you know when I figure it out.
-Not sure which candidate will bring me the most political power yet, but I'll let you know when I figure it out.
-Not sure which candidate will bring me the most political power yet, but I'll let you know when I figure it out.
Minister of WTF does this guy even do? (MoWTF?)
-Not sure which candidate will bring me the most political power yet, but I'll let you know when I figure it out.
My Platform:
Ok so basically I'm a really nice guy whose been playing for a very very long time. I'm also endorsed by all the major players in this game and I am a really nice guy whose been playing for a very very long time.
I love this country a lot and have done a lot of cool sounding but otherwise useless services in order to make myself seem like I am actually a very capable individual. I love this country very much and if you vote for me I will promise to write articles everyday about how much I love this country.
Basically every major party and player endorses me cause they know I will be a good leader no matter what. They know that I have done a lot of cool sounding things for Canada, and that I love my country very much. I am fighting for freedom and democracy and all other cool sounding things, and I will always fight against communism and stuff like that. And if you wanna know why I wanna do all this its because I love my country so much.
As for my cabinet, althought its not finished, I promise to fill it with all my friends and pals who endorse me in this great quest for freedom and democracy. They are all capable individuals who although usually only come from parties that support me, its not because I am biased, its because they are all cool people who have done cool sounding things and love their country just like me.
Economy
Basically ever since the last election, everyone has been oddly making the economy their most important topic of discussion. I don't know if it has anything to do with my last platform, but it seems that countless articles have appeared bitching about the economy and talking about how we should encourage imports and lower the CAD.
But basically if you elect me I will like not be a communist and thus will let the free market do w.e. it likes cause I belive in freedom and democracy and I am a really nice guy who loves his nation very much.
Also, I don't know how this whole "tax" thing works, but I hear people like to hear that ALL taxes will be reduced so I'll be doing a lot of reducing if you know what I mean. As for the CAD, I heard that lowering it will help exports so I'll lower the CAD as soon as I get elected so thats its the weakest currency in the game. This way, GMs will finally make a profit when they export things to our glorius allies.
Military
I don't know if its relevant, but some dude told me that you'd have to be an idiot to say that you won't help the CAF. So basically since I love my country so much and so many people endorse me because I am a nice guy who will be a good ruler, I plan to make the CAF better.
Don't ask me what I mean by "making it better", but basically even though I don't know how this whole "national buget" thing works, I still promise to allow more members to join the CAF. Like I said I can't get into any more details and since my collegues have given equally vague promises, I only see it right that I do the same.
Edmukation
Basically I will learn everyone a book. Everyone must learnz things and I will help people learnz things cause I'm a great guy who loves his country and who is edorsed by so many people cause I will be a good leader.
Government Transparency
LOL yeah right. I know politians lie but even I have my limits. I say this because I am a honest guy who is really nice and is endorsed by a lot of important people who write nice messages in my articles and who I also suck up back to in return, and these people belive that I will be a good ruler because I love my country and so do they.
Foreign Affairs
Well of course I'm gonna help our allies. I find it funny that you even read this part, can u even imagine a politian that would even DARE to say things like "maybe joining PEACE GC is a good idea"... well apart from Adasko and Jacobi that is..
Heathcare
I will hand out many foods to teh peoples of Canada. I will be a hero who will give you lots of food no matter how much it costs us. What politian would be stupid enough to refuse to give food to noobs who will only end up becomming very loyal supporters in the future? And of course I do all this because I love my country.
Unimportant stuff
I'll get into this stuff later, but basically since I'm gonna have such a HUGE politcally motivated cabinet and minister positions, I didn't have the time to sort through everything so far. So just wait a few weeks and I'll publish all the other departments who will most likely end up having little work to do, or will be very useless, or a combination of the two.
A Final Word:
So please like vote for me cause like I said I love my country very much and I have very good intentions. No smart politian gives details cause those are for later (like after I get elected), so right now I just wanna prove that I'm a good leader cause I have good intentions and a lot of people support me cause I'm a nice guy who loves his country.
Oh and if elected I promise to raise 25 stautes of myself in patriotic poses, salute the flag everyday, and focus on actually deciding wether I even know how to do anything that I have proposed.
Anyway this platform is like 1/23 complete, so check back for daily annoucements on how my ridicilously early campaign is going.
Also, GOD BLESS AMERICA... ER I mean GOD BLESS CANADA.
FOR FREEDOM, FOR DEMOCRACY, FOR UNITY, FOR STRENGTH, FOR TEDDY BEARS, FOR THE PROUD SOLDIERS OF OUR NATION, FOR THE [INSERT COOL SOUNDING WORD HERE]!
DOWN WITH THE COMMUNISTS! DOWN WITH THE FASCISTS! DOWN WITH THE TERRORISTS! DOWN WITH [INSERT NASTY SOUNDING WORD HERE]!
So almost a month from now, write it on your wall, or post it on your fridge, but don't forget to vote for me on December 5th! I'm thuper cereal!
P.S. and if you didn't belive me the first time when I said I love my country, here is some extra proof:
Facebook
Twitter
I endorse you now give me MoD!!!!
hahahahahaha
lolz... i lol'd
good work on the platform!
OMG UR AN AMERICAN!!!!!!!
wow.
I hope the red isn't hurting your eyes too much but I really wanted my patriotism to stand out..
jokesssssss
ps. octavian hates canada
Octavian raped Ontario
"I hope the red isn't hurting your eyes too much but I really wanted my patriotism to stand out.. "
Don't worry! It stands out through my eyes now!
I endorse you!
*facepalm*
So many... maple leafs! Argh!!
Holy crap you need to put a drink warning on the top of this post. I just shot pop through my nose all over my keyboard and monitor.
Funny stuff, Octavian.
lol
Voted!
Lol I'm glad you all like my little satire over here. We all need a good laugh once in a while..
Please vote!
This is some funny shit
hahaha!
This platform is intended for july 5th 2017
The "2012 Now!" candidate
End of the world 2012 ~ vote for oct_f then!
Wait a minute, I LIKE, no **LOVE** that economic platform....., but its a joke platform......, ARRRRGGGGHHH!
WIN = This Article
I didn't laugh.
Sarah Plain 2012, erm excuse me, Octavian_F 2012.
Banach didn't laugh because this is plagiarism!
Octavian, give Banach credit where it is due
2012 Minister of Doomsday (MoD) - This is the only position you need to fill.
@Bruck: Hahaha with pleasure.
Not sure which candidate I'll vote for yet, but I'll let you know at the ballot box.
You gotta love southpark. lmao
WTH . This is hillarious!
LOL - very good Octavian!
Good one.
now thats a great article! thanks for giving me laughs on a rainy day!
if only politics was always this fun.
The hat's been cast into the ring,
By you, the cat, and everything.
So I'm for you, if you're for me,
I'm sure we'll win, but we shall see.
So join the rush, the race is on,
To see who best, can voter con.
No need to wait to fire the gun,
This race is won before begun!
Vote for Octavian_F if you are a patriot. You are either with him or against him.
Citizen B
surprisingly enough, this is actually better than your last platform
I thought the last one was satire, too.
I, Tamas Dzsudzsak, like it.
And I resign
And I am running this time
No I'm not
Yes I am
I will be using Spain for my own political ends.
Now that was awesome
While not normally a fan of you, I laughed and voted ;]
I just threw up in my mouth.
Voted for truth. Funny stuff Octavian.
i dont see my name!
The cabinet should be based on qualifications, not who would bring you the most 'power' come election time. I think it really shows a selfishness on your part in my opinion. Canadian people deserve the best regardless of who is in office.
Panda you have it vice versa, in 2012 Octavian_F will get ellected. The sixth sign of the appocolypse.
and the joke totally went over 77grant77's head lol
77Grant77, lol I'll assume (and I hope) you know that this article is satire, and that you are simply going along with it and adding to the joke..
10/10
when the world is supposed to end weird shit happens well geuss what there is nothing weirder then Octavion_f in prime ministers office lols
since no one else has said it yet, I will
~hyuu~
OMG it's true!
~hyuu~
Cronyism IS the only way forward!!!!!
Hahah! Awesome Octavian! :p
octavian's got my vote
lol good stuff
again....le sigh. Vote down
*sigh* Your bitter attempt to amuse me has failed. I've seen enough political jokes to last me a life time and I am not even a politician. I am so past thinking something this overdone is even remotely funny. If you are going to make a joke, at least do it out of honest mirth and not bitterness over a debate on someone else's article. I perceive this personally as an attack ad whose target is so obvious I need not say it. I'm sorry, but I am losing faith that there is any good reason to think of you as a worthy person for politics.
Epic win. I'd vote out my ass for you sir.
I also like cool people who do cool sounding things!
i volunteer to be Minister without portfolio!
Kitaho, I have been playing this game for much longer than you have. Hence I have experienced a few things which you may not be yet familiar with.
I know how politics works in this nation and thus I think my little satirical piece here is a very nice demonstration of how things really are.
It doesn't necessarily have to be funny, its just satire. Animal Farm by George Orwell was also satire, yet it was not considered "comedy". What makes it funny is that some people realize how true this is, and hence some people find this funnier than others.
And also, satire is not "bitter" my friend, its just.... satire.
*sigh*
I am from a lackey party and I don't find this at all amusing.
*parody*
LOL Tamas.
Firstly, I would prefer that you shorten my name only to Kita. I have little to complain in your conduct to me (besides your association to validation with time spent on a web site) but find it honestly and sincerely disappointing that you require a lackey to insult my character in such a base form. If you do not feel my opinion is valid, that is one thing and very acceptable. I will not argue to sway you to my point of view. However, belittling my opinion in such a manner is very unbecoming of you and your associates.
@Kitahoshi: Lol stop it with your silly, partisan comments. My lil staire here (which represents not only the current candidates, but previous ones as well), is based on whats been going on here for a long time. Of course I'm going to "belittle" your opinion as you have no clue as to what you're talking about.
I don't know if you know me, but this article right here is representative of my style. Its not the first time I do this, and it certinately won't be the last. Some people may not like me, but nevertheless I put people in their place. Satire works to expose the blunders of society and encourage society to change for the better. If you don't like that, thats you're problem. But don't except me to refrain from making foolish people looking foolish.
@ Octavian_F: I must point out that you cannot accuse me of being a partisan while you yourself are promoting a society where new members are not encouraged to stretch their wings within the political field. I am extremely disappointed that someone who in a fair society should be a mentor is mocking me for simply being new to the game. You equate my lack of experience with idiocy and this is extremely poor conduct of someone who holds such a prominent position in our society.
I would also like to point out, since you seem to be reacting so poorly, that by writing a public article you are exposing yourself to the possibility of criticism. It was not a personal attack on you that I was making. I merely stated that this subject matter has been overdone, in my opinion.
I'm sorry that such a small comment on my part escalated to such a degree. I hope you take my comments on the treatment of new members seriously, despite my lack of experience in such matters. I shall remove myself from further comment because I do not wish to aggravate the situation further.
@Kitahoshi: I greatly support new members, and like I have said before, if you knew me, you'd know my struggle to change the social hierarchy in this game, and allow everyone to have a fair shot at this. I want leaders to be judged on their ideas, not their social standing.
Moreover I have a few charities set up, and some of my biggest ideas I tried to push forward when trying to get elected for PM was helping new players. The reasons are many, and I will explain them in greater detail when my platform comes out.
With that being said, you annoyed me by criticizing this article. Why? Because this article basically exposes a big hole in our eCanadian society (and to some extent, the RL one too). By accusing me of doing this as a "personal attack" you are basically saying that this article is politially motivated, and is just a bunch of propaganda. Moreover, since you are a new player, it means that you may have not been accustomed to eCanada as well, and thus may not be familiar with all the political faces and how the eCanadian society behaves. Thats why you may not find this satire funny, its because you don't understand how true, and reflective of our society it is.
And through this article, I am not only attacking my rivals, I am attacking 90% of the politician out there. I am attacking platforms from maybe 4 elections ago. And I am attacking a problem that is pushing our nation in the wrong direction.
And I do not shun debate. I encourage it. If you have any more comments to make, please do so.
I support this article!