HOW TO HIDE / KAKO SAKRITI (EN/HR)

Day 1,425, 09:00 • Published in Croatia Croatia • by Dagislav
For Croatian text, scroll down.



You are constantly online, murmuring something about tanks, cows and gold... You sweat and swear profusely. You are obviously an eRepublik addict. Don't worry; you are in a good company. But your girlfriend is concerned with your strange behaviour. So, how to conceal your eRepublik habit from your wife/fiancée/girlfriend/lady/bitch? Well, there are several ways. I put them in order of efficiency.



6. Tell her simply and honestly that you are playing an online game. For money.



No shit, Sherlock! You are already playing an online game. Losing money on poker somewhere is better than purchasing Gold here? Yea, right! You will be rightfully accused of being not a mere addict of online gaming, but a gambler too! It's a no go.



5. Tell her that you are making an online research.



Lame. She wouldn't believe it, and no-one studies eRepublik Wiki and tutorials anyway. It might be plausible only if you are a complete nerd, but in that case you won't have a girlfriend to speak of.



4. Tell her you are conducting business online!



This might go, just. If you are into eRepublik economy, mumbling about cow farms and monetary market wouldn't be so suspicious. In any case, you could explain the moneys that went for purchasing Gold. Let's say, tell her that you bought RL Venezuelan Bolivars and lost on forex transactions. Or something like that. She might buy your story.



3. Admit that you watch porn!



Hmmm... It is plausible, okay. Everyone is watching porn online, that's what was Internet invented for! And there are plenty of boobs in the eRepublik newspapers. But, be warne😛 gals are not into porn as we guys are. So, you will probably get a silent treatment from her, perhaps a sob or two because of your loss of sexual interest for her. But you are getting it anyway. On the other hand, after hefty tanking, you can relax watching porn unmolested.



2. Invent a gay affair!



Uh-oh! There are some advantages of such story. First, it should also explain your loss of interest for her due to excessive playing. Second, it is plausible: there are many self-proclaimed gays here in the eRepublik, so little chatting with some homos and showing her the chat logs should do the trick. Of course, there are some disadvantages. She might become jealous, start making scenes and finally leave you. Let her go. She does not deserve you anyway. And the worst case scenario, she might be interested in a threesome with you and the hunk.



1. Invent an affair with another woman!



It surely works! She was suspecting that you have another gal, anyway. And it should also explain your loss of interest for her. She will surely become jealous, start throwing things at you and probably leave you. Just like in the gay scenario. And just like in the gay scenario, let her go. On the positive side, there is a mild possibility that she might be interested in a threesome with you and the slut. Go and get it!


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Stalno ste online, mrmljajući nešto o tenkovima, kravama i zlatu… Znojite se i psujete. Očito ste ovisnik o eRepubliku. Ne brinite, u dobrom ste društvu. No, vaša djevojka je zabrinuta jer se čudno ponašate. Pa, kako sakriti svoju ovisnost o eRepubliku od vaše supruge/zaručnice/djevojke/cure/j**bice? Ima nekoliko načina, poredao sam ih po učinkovitosti.


6. Recite joj otvoreno da igrate online igricu. Za novce.



Ma, daj! Pa već igrate online igricu. Gubljenje love negdje na pokeru je kao bolje od kupovine Golda ovdje? Moš' si mislit'! S pravom će vas nabijediti da ste ne samo ovisnik o online igricama, nego i kockar! Ovo ne će ići.



5. Kažite joj da radite online istraživanje.



Jadno. Ne će vam vjerovati, a ionako nitko ne proučava tutorijale i eRepublik Wiki. Ovo bi moglo biti uvjerljivo jedino ako ste kompletni nerd, ali onda ionako ni nemate curu.



4. Recite joj da se bavite online biznisom!



Ovo bi moglo proći, jedva. Ako ste se ufurali u ekonomiju eRepublika, mrmljanje o farmama krava i monetary marketu ne bi trebalo biti toliko sumnjivo. Bilo kako bilo, mogli biste objasniti novce koji su otišli na kupnju Golda. Recimo, kažite joj da ste uložili u venecuelanske bolivare, pa izgubili na tečajnoj razlici. Ili tak nešto. Mogla bi popasti.



3. Priznajte da gledate pornjavu!



Hmmm... Ovo jest uvjerljivo. Svi gledaju pornjavu onine, za to je Internet i izmišljen! A po novinama u eRepubliku ima puno sisa. No, slijedi upozorenje: cure ne puše pornjavu poput nas dečkiju. Stoga, najvjerojatnije ćete dobiti tihu misu, možda koji šmrc-šmrc jer je zapostavljate u krevetu. Ali to dobivate i ovako i onako. S druge strane, nakon jakog tenkanja, možete se u miru opustiti gledajući pornjavu a da vas nitko ne gnjavi.



2. Izmislite da imate dečka!



O joj! Ova priča ima neke prednosti. Prvo, trebala bi objasniti zašto je zapostavljate u krevetu budući da prekomjerno igrate. Drugo, uvjerljiva je: ovdje u eRepubliku ima puno samoproglašenih gejeva, pa bi malo chata s njima - i pokazivanje logova njoj - trebalo šljakati. Naravno, tu su i nedostatci. Mogla bi postati ljubomorna, mogla bi raditi scene i na koncu vas ostaviti. Pustite je da ode. Ionako vas ne zaslužuje. A u najgorem slučaju, moglo bi ju zanimati utroje s vama i komadom.



1. Izmislite da imate drugu ženu!



Ovo sigurno radi! Ionako je cijelo vrijeme sumnjala da imate drugu! I također objašnjava zašto je zapostavljate u krevetu. Sigurno će postati ljubomorna, počet će bacati stvari na vas i možda vas ostaviti. Kao u gej scenariju. I kao i u gej scenariju, pustite je da ode. Dobra stvar je što postoji mala mogućnost da se zaniteresira napraviti to u troje s vama i droljom. Navalite!