Hey eSA, WE ARE BACK!

Day 644, 06:52 • Published in South Africa Brazil • by H00LIG2NS

Hey South Africa!





WE

ARE

BACK


We know you missed us!

You could say it’s become a habit for us to participate in eSA elections. Almost an addiction. And man, do we love our addictions!


We talked to President Ines Schumacher about a week ago, right when this weird American dude decided to TO eSA. Since them, it’s been set that Brazilians would once again come to eSA.

Recruiting efforts have been wide in Brazil. We’ve called upon all citizens to come and vote in beautiful South Africa


Brazilian government addresses the nation


Efforts have not been in vain! We’ve gathered once again a massive force of voters to come to eSA and make sure elections would go the right way, and the PTOers would be defeated.





NOW, you might be asking yourselves, WHYYYYYYYY??

Basically, we’re a bunch of egotistical self-centered maniacs. We love to draw a lot of attention. Apart from that, we also really, REALLY like money. Last but not least, we’re crazy.


BUT, whats money got to do with it?

Very simple: eSA will pay us money to get another region back. We like that. That makes you cool. On the other hand, this Ajay dude tried to murder our language by publishing an article in our media using google translator. That makes him not cool.

As you’ve come to know over time, Brazilians LOOVE MONEY. Money gives us power. Power makes us mad. And we’re mad. We want to continue being mad.


HOWEVER, there is one very important thing you need to know (and this is the goal of this article): even though we are going to help you, you CANNOT stop hating us. We need you to hate us. If you don’t hate us, we might become friends. If we become friends, we might feel bad about making you pay for regions. If that happens, we won’t have MONEY, and as I’ve already stated, money is very important to us.


So, I think I’ve made myself pretty clear, please DO NOT get the wrong idea about this. We’re doing this because we’re pricks and we definitely wanna keep the record of being the last ones to PTO eSA. Don’t forget we’re the ones who put you on this mess to begin with.


Oh yea, we also firmly believe in the right of every nation to self-determination and independence, etc, etc


Finally, let me just say


MONEY! POWER! MADNESS!


ItsMeYoshi
Brazilian Minister of Foreign Affairs (MoFA)




P.S: this is an official ATO mission sponsored by the brazilian government, we're very glad to be here, etc, etc