"Where are your Jou-Ma-Se energy bars?" It seemed like a logical question to ask. For all of my three-and-a-half trips around the mercenary medal, energy bars were a key item to place in storage. For the first time I could recall, the energy bar bin was empty. So I asked a marketplace worker where the energy bars were.
"We don't have any," he replied. "We'll be getting some in tomorrow."
It took me a few moments to absorb this information. "What do you mean you don't have any?" I thought. "Someone must have energy bars?!" True, sometimes they are almost orange enough to pass for one of the major fruits. And they occasionally appear to have lost an arm-wrestling match with a Chomp. But there are always energy bars of some sort available.
Then it dawned on me just how foolish my expectations were. I live well north of eJozi. Even if somebody invented a way to cultivate them in the Great North, it was early in February, and they would not bare barcodes and wrappers at this time of year. For goodness sake, outside the airspace is riddled with missiles and stray bullets, yet inside I am expecting sugar induced hallucinations of rainbows and toffees caused by the over-consumption of Jou-Ma-Se energy bars!
Expect heavy air traffic delays, too
If you commute in a big city, you might have noticed traffic grinding to a halt. Why? Look to energy bars for the answer. Just as I was frustrated by my marketplace expectations not being met, hundreds of other eSA citizens are frustrated daily by their traffic expectations not being met.
Consider some of the major machines in your life, such as television. Twenty years ago, we would watch a TV show. Ads would come and ads would go, but we would watch it from start to finish. Who does that these days?
"What were you watching, honey?"
"I dunno. But I think I caught something about eUruguay and a shortage of spanners."
And if ever you should lose the remote... I know, I know, eAdmins may be reading this, so I'll cut the profanity.
And what about eRepublik itself? If a press room article takes more than five seconds to load, where are we, eUruguay?
"Did you read that new article from Badger06?"
"I dunno. But I think I overheated the mouse while two-clicking. Ouch! I scalded my finger."
If fancy TV gadgets and high-speed internet feed our impatience, what about ads for Q7 tanks? *Vrroooooommm* (eventhough they look somewhat like Daleks ~ Editor). See how fast this tank can go? Wow. It does zero to sixty in 5.2 seconds ... in the ad. And zero to zero in half an hour stuck on the eSA-eUruguay Express highway.
As we expect our machines each day to break yesterday's speed record, our Q7 tanks seem to be slowing to a crawl. That's because more and more people are squeezing onto the same battlefield division trying to reach influence faster and faster and blazing their guns and mini-bombs louder and louder (because we all know that Q7 tanks do more damage the faster you click the FIGHT! button, right? Especially when you depress that mouse button for three seconds longer to blast LONG and LOUD, right?).
Is it just me, or is this poor mathematics? A realist would expect battles to get a little slower and more congested each year, which just proves how rare realists really are. Every one of us expects to have more influence and then even more influence.
And I expect energy bars on the store shelf even when there is a battle holding up the Q4 transport helicopters. So what can we do? Easy, we can grumble and complain. We can make abusive shouts at MU leaders and other at CH wannabes. We can blast our Q7 turrets (not recommended in the marketplace or on the ubiquitous homepage, especially at reset time).
Or we can step back and ask ourselves logical questions about what we should realistically expect. For instance, "Can I really expect Jou-Ma-Se energy bars on my marketplace shelf in the middle of dragging through a training war, when I know the Q4 transport helicopters are still held in limbo by air traffic control?"
Energy secrets of the Limpopo Mopane Worm as food
~ Another article consumed for eRepublik use
What is this?You are reading an article written by a citizen of eRepublik, an immersive multiplayer strategy game based on real life countries. Create your own character and help your country achieve its glory while establishing yourself as a war hero, renowned publisher or finance guru.