God Help Us All: Dartreal's Running For Prime Minister!

Day 881, 03:49 • Published in Australia Australia • by Dartreal
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You read that right fellow citizens of eAustralia and citizens of the world. I, Dartreal, shall be running for Prime Minister of eAustralia where I shall usher in a new age!

For too long as eAustralia suffered under the illusional concept that is “democracy”. What is democracy? False lies and broken promises that’s what it is! It is time for someone to take hold of this country and give it a good wake up call. It is time someone acted for the people without any concern for the people.

That person is I and I am that person!

I shall begin my grand crusade in taking power in eAustralia where I will establish a dictatorship that has never been seen before – since there hasn’t been a dictatorship before. eAustralia is a pile of clay that needs to be sculptured into a masterpiece and I am that sculptor!

I shall be running for Prime Minister under the More Beer Party – despite the fact that I don’t like beer and I think it’s for the uncivil and the barbaric. None-the-less I will still run with the More Beer Party for they share my vision of what I want for eAustralia!

With the lovely Miss Wolf by my side, we shall bring forth a new age to eAustralia and I shall be the one to turn eAustralia into a blissful utopia for all!

During this election, I will state now that I intend on running a fair game. I do not wish for anyone to launch any smear campaigns nor throw mud onto my opponents. They have as much right to run against me in this election as anyone else will. When I am elected into power, I will make sure that no one has the right to run against me ever again!

Over the next coming weeks I shall reveal my platforms on the military and economy, on domestic views and on international views. I will also draft a cabinet so frighting that those who are running will pull out of the race out of shear terror. (Insert “That’s What She Said” jokes here).

So stand with me eAustralia for if you do not, you shall fall before me! I really don’t want that to happen because I’m a nice guy.

Vote for Dartreal!

A vote for Dartreal is a vote not going to the other guys and/or girls!

If it hasn’t occurred to you by now, I am running for lulz. This campaign is not to be taken seriously at all. Should I somehow win the election I’ll happily step down from the position and pass it off to the runner up – for the right price 🙂