Sir Gulden Draak
It was day 1,856 of the New World. I was on the battlefield of Chimor, the snow was falling heavily. Why it was snowing when it was 85° F outside I had no idea, chalk it up to the admins lack of knowledge in geography and meteorology I suppose. After all, the Republic of Kosovo is not recognized in game.
I fought long and hard on the battlefield, opponents were no match for my mighty tanks. After many an opponent had met their death by my hand, I stepped out of my tank for a smoke. After lighting my cigarette and taking a long drag, I was pegged in the face by a snowball by a pig disgusting snowman. My skin began to burn, and my heart was filled with rage having just come into contact with the anti-sand. I threw my cigarette into the snow and hopped back into my tank.
The snowman ducked behind a rock as I fired my tank. Hardly any damage was done, this snowman was good, possibly Spanish and Swede in nature, a truly pig digesting creature if there ever was one. Still filled with rage, I decided it was bazooka time and hopped out of my tank taking cover in the forest. Several of my bazooka shots missed, causing minimal damage. Knowing that people of the snow are corrupted by their lust for gold, I threw some gold out to entice him out from his hiding spot. He knew he would put himself in danger, but his lust for the gold consumed him and he left his hiding spot.
As he bent down to pick up a piece of the gold, I fired by bazooka hitting him right in the head. He was out for the count, gold still in his tiny stick hand. I immediately fell to my knees praising Dio for giving me victory over this pig disgusting creature. I let out a yell of PRIDE, POWER, PAKISTAN!, and walked over to where my enemy lay. I looked at his carrot nose laying in the snow, I was tempted to eat it but it had touched the snow and I didn’t have any ranch. Though proud of my kill, I felt pain in my heart as I was not able to share the Ways of Dio with this creature no matter how pig disgusting he may be.
I am now sitting at camp, having just taken a sand bath to cleanse myself. Tired and worn from the day of battle I can barely hold my eyes open. As I lay my head to rest, I know that the ways of Capitalism are foolish, and the chasing of gold only leads to destruction. Remember this my dear friends, and you will find success. The path to enlightenment in this game is not through the chasing of gyspy gold, especially when you waste real life money on it. The chasing of gold will only leave you empty on the inside, as your lust for it will never be satisfied. More real life dollars will be spent, more time wasted, and more multis created in order to attempt to satisfy your lust which will never happen. No my friends, the path to enlightenment comes from within. Find out what it is in this game that makes you happy in the long run, not something like gold which only leads to temporary happiness. Discover this my friends and you will be blessed.
Stay thirsty my friends,
Sir Gulden Draak
What is this?You are reading an article written by a citizen of eRepublik, an immersive multiplayer strategy game based on real life countries. Create your own character and help your country achieve its glory while establishing yourself as a war hero, renowned publisher or finance guru.