The Shameless Plug

Hiya eCanada,

I was away sunning myself on the Riviera the last couple weeks, meaning that I missed a lot of excitement and had no sage advice to dispense to the broken hearts&heart breakers of eCanada. That Mr. Baldwin stirred up quite a storm from what I hear and I think he should offer us all a deep, soul gripping apology. But we all know that is not going to happen….so today’s theme is “Apologies: How to do them, how not to, and who needs to.”

I’ve put together a scale for apologies that hit it out of the ballpark, ones that get by, and the ones that leave you wondering. It goes like this:

|1°|

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|2°|

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---|3°|

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|4°|

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|5� �|
Level 1°: “I’m sorry (but you’ll never find out what I really did)”
Level 2°: “Let’s get this over with”
Level 3°: “Okay, you caught me red handed. What can I say...”
Level 4°: “Okay fine, I admit I did something wrong”
Level 5°: “I feel so bad I’ll do anything you need.”

The past week has been chock full of apologies, some better than others. To help illustrate good from mediocre from plain bad, I’ve arranged a presentation of different apologies from various eCanadians.

Tantis
Level 1: “I’m sorry (but you’ll never find out what I really did)”

The title says it all, “I’m Sorry Canada,” or does it? Tantis’ apology starts out seemingly sincere and certainly tantalizing: “Its time that I told all of eCanada my darkest and most kept secret, I started last year in April political career which was also the first day of my secret career.”

This leaves me saying, “Oh yes, tell me more!” And he does…a whole lot, maybe too much, so much that it reads like a thrilling tabloid confessional.

I’m not saying (like some people) that Tantis made a false apology. I’m saying that when you make an apology, you need to be very careful to make sure people will buy it. You’re already on their bad side and you can bet they’re just looking for a reason to shoot down your confession. Sometimes it’s better to say too little than too much if you know they’re expecting you to lie anyway. C’mon, you’re a spy. We can expect so much.

marcchelala
Level 2: “Let’s get this over with”
A couple days ago, marcchelala made this shout during the elections: “ Attention Canadian Voters: A vote for Andrew Mendelson is a vote for COBRA. Andrew Mendelson is supported by the COBRA party.”

Aferwards, the long finger of shame was pointed at Mr. Chelala in the eCanada forum, to which he replied:

“Andrew, I apologize for the false allegations and accusations made by me yesterday during the Presidential Elections. COBRA must have supported you to make your campaign harder. I imagine what effect it would have had to be supported by COBRA, and realize I was wrong. Again, I am sorry, Andrew, for the false accusations I have made.”

As far as I know, Mr. Chelala is one stand up guy. He’s done a lot for eCanada, so much that I can’t take the space to list it all. So what’s the first thing someone wants to do when a goody-two-shoes boyscout fouls up…we want to keep him down to make us feel better. So while he did the right thing by responding right away, there still remains doubt that lingers in the sceptical public. Did he know when he made the shout that it was “a false allegation and accusation?” Worse yet, did he know beforehand that COBRA was trying to sabotage Andrew? Then we start asking are the rumours about CEP and COBRA true? And it keeps spinning on outward. The apology was polite and to the point and marchelala handled it professionally as a politician should. The problem being that we never really accept a politician’s feelings…maybe less than a spy’s.

Alexander Rearden
Level 3: “Okay, you caught me red handed. Hey, what can I say...”

We all remember that $50,000? Of course, many of you do and it’s not because you haven’t received and apology (you know “Forgive and Forget”). Maybe it’s that you’re not ready to accept one yet. Let’s take, for example, the offering of guilt the old financial guy Rearden has come to lay at our feet:

“Canadian Ministry of Finance was created by me, when we thought we had a security breach BECAUSE those orgs were so old and we weren't sure who had access to the emails. And I didn't know, at the time, that you could change the emails attached to orgs.

So no, Bruck has no method of accessing MoF…I can dig around in my PM's from the old forum if anyone wants to press the issue of Bruck or any Bruck-era politician having access.

And if you REALLY want to point a finger, you might as well point it at me I didn't keep a hard copy version of all the passwords for all the accounts I had access to so it disappeared.”

Sure, Alexander Rearden is back again to say he is sorry, but this time we all know that he knows that we know he is not really responsible for misplacing the money. The wording is all correct and the details appear to be very true. Sincerity is the only thing we may question. It seems he is actually enjoying this apology. It’s something well out of his hands and in the past. It would be ridiculous to lay blame here. So why step forward, unless you want to take the heat off someone else. Sure, that’s an honourable thing to do for a buddy but it may not win points with the public that wants sincere transparency and not a shell game of blame. Good job, Mr. Rearden, of explaining how you were the cause but we know you know it’s not the real issue at hand. It’s not like “I am Sorry eCanada” when we knew you really meant it (A++ for that one).

Lesson learned: Only apologize when it’s necessary or else it looks like you want attention (or distraction).

Goran Thrax
Level 4: “Okay fine, I admit again I did something wrong.”

Goran Thrax stepped forward (3 or 4 times) to place his apology for the bungled donation. Was it a human error? Was it a careless congress? Or, was it a legacy of lax procedure and dead-end organizations?

Few of those questions matter when you have someone who is willing to say, “Okay, I did it. It’s my fault.” Goran Thrax did just that:

“I am profoundly sorry for my error, I make no excuse, and if it is felt that I should be censured for my error, I understand. As for a public apology, I would make one, if one more public than this is requested.

[and later]

This donation was a mistake. I made the first mistake, pure and simple. Derek Harland, offered to start the vote (since each congressman is capped to 2 proposals each session) and I layed out instructions on how to do that.

I did a search for Ministry of Finance, and boom, there it was, with the familiar avatar. So that's what I put in the instructions. I was not aware at the time, that Ministry of Finance was a dead org, we had stopped using before I started playing eRepublik. I am of course, aware of that now.

To All eCanadians, I am very sorry for my error. It was not done deliberately, but I accept responsibility for posting inaccurate instructions that started the vote. I also apologize for voting yes, before the error was discovered.”

In later apologies, Goran gets a little frustrated about having to say it again and for someone misspelling his name. Also, he ventures close to dangerous waters with: “familiar avatar,” “I was not aware”, and “before I started playing.” A picky forgiver might infer an excuse that goes against Goran’s original promise not to make any. Only these small details kept his apology from becoming a shining example of supplication before the mercy of the public. He did it right by laying out all the details. Just remember to keep your tone as soft as possible even if saying sorry can really get under your skin.

Derek Harland
Level 5: “ I feel so bad I’ll do anything you need.”
It’s a bit surprising to think that the one less responsible for the accident outshone other more responsible parties. In my opinion, Mr. Harland had less to do with the donation than the one who ordered it and the entire 1 and a half dozen who erroneously voted for it. When you add that to the fact that most everyone accepted this apology as a good deed of taking responsibility, well you end up with
unadulterated mea culpa:

“And personally, I don't think it is fair that Jacobi should be blamed or even all of congress. Yes, Goran Thrax did tell me to donate to the Ministry of Finance but I myself should've been smarter about it and realized it was the wrong org. So if you want someone to blame, BLAME ME! I made the proposal in-game and I made a huge mistake…

…I don't ask for your forgiveness but I do ask that you don't blame Jacobi and use this loss of funds to detract from the wonderful job he has done as President of eCanada. I also don't ask you to blame the congress of eCanada because they do an amazing job.”

Mr. Harland takes the blame away from the President, Goran Thrax, Congress, and the kid down the street who sneaks into the cookie jar at night. Amazingly, it doesn’t come off as hyperbole and he actually looks as if he is willing to accept a heap load of punishment. That’s probably why he’ll get off the easiest.

So you’ve read the apologies and thought them trough again and again. Maybe you wake up at night wondering what that certain person is doing right then. If so, then you really need to get over it. Somebody gave me good advice when I really needed to forgive what I thought was a jerk for dumping me. It’s three questions and, basically, you are only ready to forgive someone when you can answer the following with an unburdened heart:

1) Are you ready to forgive?
--Sometimes we just like to wallow about in self pity or hang on to anger because it gives us a charge (as bad as it may be). Maybe you really don’t want to accept someone’s apology because you want to be mad at them. Figure out if you’re the problem before you decide not to let the past go.

2) Would you wish something evil on that person?
--Wanting a bus to run over the one who spites you definitely shows you’re not ready. Fantasize a little; that’s okay. After a while, you’re only hurting yourself.

3) Would you wish something good on that person?
--Of course you don’t want to! They messed up your e-life, cost you e-cash, or made you e-miserable. The only way you’ll ever know you’ve let the water pass under the bridge is to realize there is something better on the other side…for the person who wronged you. When you’re happy because they can be happy, there’s the guarantee you’ve succeeded in accepting an apology.

To end today’s session, I’m going to ask who you think needs to offer an apology. For example, I think it should be Banach for what he said to Nosyt. We can accept if his platform made you sick or if you were disgusted by his political party, but that went beyond the game itself. Nosyt, some comfort I can offer is that Banach is a man of genius descended from a long line of intellectuals, so we must sometimes excuse greatness for its hubris.

Is there anyone else you want to have apologize? Request it by filling in the form below. Have anything you want to confess? Use the form below.

It’s time to lay it bare eCanada. What have you got to lose that hasn’t been lost already?

Click on the picture for the Fidelia Confidential Confessional:



..and sometimes that "A" stands for 'Admonishment'