Fast Forward: 100 days of future Canadian history

Day 875, 11:56 • Published in Canada Canada • by Alias Vision


New World Day 989: Despite growing concern that he has been in power too long, Derek Harland is re-elected for a 5th term on a platform of "continuity is best" in the face of uncertainty concerning V2.

New World Day 991: Canada is in the middle of the worst depression of its history, rivalling the crash of late February 2010.

New World Day 995: The V2 transition fund is revealed to be over 10,000 gold. Octavian_F claims to be twice as rich. Populist Congressman Kirk launches a stinging rebuke of the administration's transition strategy, demanding more transparency and the release of the gold for the good of the common citizen.

New World Day 999: Party presidency elections are marred with irregularities amongst fear of the new Millennium. Ghost candidates and zombie voters are proof of "The end of the New World as we know it" says apocalyptic prophets.

New World Day 1000: The prophets were right! The new Millennium brings with it the dreaded but anticipated V2. President Derek Harland proclaims, "We are ready!". Tyler F Durden says, "We are dead!".

New World Day 1001: Scores of citizens go on hunger strikes as protest to the changes, promise to starve to death because they cannot live with this new reality.

New World Day 1002: Congressman George Kirk says the V2 transition fund is not working and that Canadian companies are not receiving adequate support from the government, authors a bill to give 10 gold to every active citizen.

New World Day 1003: Banach and Augustus Baldwin come out of retirement... again (Augustus Baldwin points out that he never actually retired). Banach demands that Congress polish his crown and ready his tank, meanwhile Augustus Baldwin says, "No". Citizens are confused but give their favoured son 200 votes anyways.

New World Day 1004: Ireland stuns and the world and invades the United Kingdom, they demand that Canada honour their alliance and fight by their side.

New World Day 1007: The Kirk Gold Bill is defeated, Congress threatens to impeach the President for its perceived interference.

New World Day 1008: Chaos reigns in Europe, jbdivinus claims responsibility. The United Kingdom, not being able to organize themselves and respond to the threat, capitulates. They finally acknowledge the sins of their past and offer Scotland to Canada in trust as reparations.

New World Day 1009: Jacobi is re-installed as King of Scotland. Banach throws his crown down in protest and claims "lèse-majesté", moves to Singapore. Octavian_F moves back to Canada.

New World Day 1010: Poland negotiates a series of land swaps to place themselves in a position to attack the Americas. Tyler F Durden says we must rent our titanium regions or be invaded.

New World Day 1012: Congressman Spencer Magee initiates an impeachment of the President, says, "I wasn’t going to let level 8 guy beat me to it!". Deputy Speaker George Kirk tries to have Spencer Magee suspended from Congress for a week and his party fined $200 CAD. Spencer publishes an article entitled Alias Vision's Love Child.

New World Day 1013: Alias Vision's Love Child makes it to number one news story in Canada. Alias Vision quits in protest, when it's pointed out to him he has nothing left to quit he moves to Estonia in embarrassment.

New World Day 1015: Poland completes the annexation of Peru and declares war on Argentina. Indonesia completes the conquest of Australia for the second time in its history. Russia invades China. Hungary invades Romania. France invades Spain prompting the Spaniards to dance in the streets with glee.

New World Day 1020: Derek Harland secures a 6th consecutive mandate by a mere 4 votes, tying the overall record established by Jacobi. Jacobi, having himself just set a new record for consecutive terms as Speaker of Congress with 6, was his opponent. Octavian_F finishes third. Derek Harland declares that his career has now come full circle and that he will retire at the end of his term.

New World Day 1028: Having swept through Argentina, Poland invades and annexes South Africa. Russia "liberates" Karnataka. The US demands that Canada provide more support and more titanium. Tyler F Durden says we are being irresponsible.

New World Day 1030: The US is kicked out of the Asian theatre by Russia and her allies. They then unilaterally cancel the Brolliance, saying the treaty protects the weak rather than make them stronger.

New World Day 1032: A second vote to impeach Derek Harland is launched over the American affair and the breakdown in international politics.

New World Day 1033: Before the impeachment vote is resolved, Jacobi is permanently banned for administering multiple accounts. Jacobi, and all of Canada, is flabbergasted and tries to appeal the decision.

New World Day 1034: The impeachment vote concludes overnight and is successful. The presidency falls to Octavian_F. The US declares war on Canada and Tyler F Durden establishes a disaster relief organization to provide moving tickets to Canadians during the inevitably approaching exile.

New World Day 1035: Russia negotiates a deal with the US and enters the war against Canada, opening a western front. Rumour has it that pics of sexy women were included in the deal. The UK invades Scotland. Banach returns from Singapore.

New World Day 1048: Canada loses its last region, Ontario, a day after receiving an influx of 649 new citizens. What should have finally been a successful baby boom generation finds themselves in American and Russian occupied territory.

New World Day 1049: Octavian_F blames the loss of Canada on the Oligarchy. Claims responsibility for the baby boom.

New World Day 1050: Acacia Mason reaches Media Mogul following an article attacking the US administration for betrayal and cowardice. Incoming American president surprises electorate by adopting a conciliatory tone.

New World Day 1065: Octavian_F negotiates the rental of Nunavut, under US occupation, to the Americans for the sum of 200 gold monthly. Prince Edward Island is liberated.

New World Day 1066: Russia refuses a similar deal, keeps the Northwest Territories.

New World Day 1074: Canada completes the liberation of its territory with the exception of the North. Canada removes all claim to Scotland to close the war with the UK. Jacobi wins his appeal and is re-instated, vows to run in November. Banach picks up his crown and polishes it off.

New World Day 1081: Jacobi wins a record 7th term in office, beating Augustus Baldwin by a single vote. Rumour has it that Augustus himself cast the final and deciding vote in favour of Jacobi.

New World Day 1082: A resistance war is started in US-held Canada successfully.

New World Day 1083: Congressman George Kirk unearths documents showing that Jacobi's administration agreed to pay 3,000 gold for the RW, calls for impeachment.

New World Day 1085: Jacobi's impeachment motion defeated. Spencer Magee publishes an article entitled "Level 8 guy is a douche" and says that the impeachment vote is un-Canadian.

New World Day 1089: With the help of the US, Poland, Spain and Romania, the final Canadian region is returned in a RW. The war with the US is closed and Canada is once again safe and sound.