Everybody Row

Day 1,298, 08:32 Published in USA USA by Gnilraps



Hall of Mirrors
Day 1,298 of the New World
"Misery's the River of the World.
Everybody Row."

- Tom Waits
Federalist Pony Express
(In every way possible, what follows is a Mirror Parody of Gnilraps, OldFgt***.)

Today I withdrew my name from the Federalist Party President Nomination thread.

I want to explain my actions herewith.
(Virtually of course.)
The job of Party President (as any serious public office also does in eRep) puts you in a position of recruitment. Inherent in the job description of PoTUS, Congressman, Party President, Militia Leader, et al. is to work to increase participation through your leadership. Like it or not you end up working for 'the man'.

I am no longer willing to lead more people into deeper involvement in this game.

I have seen many rage quits in my time. I enjoy reading rage quits. Call it a guilty pleasure, but I like watching people reveal themselves in writing. My interpretation of, I don’t know, maybe 80% of the rage quits I read is, “I derive way too much of my personal self-worth from this game, it hasn’t gone the way I wanted (practically ever) and now I feel stupid (have I felt that way all along?), I’ll blame it on the Admin so I don’t look so foolish; everyone knows they suck anyway so I’ll get votes for my rage quit and at least go out with a flash (as I keep logging on to watch my comments… oh shit what am I going to do with my life now? maybe I better leave the door open to possibly not REALLY quitting a la Brett Favre… oh wait that will make me look stupid… but I might do it anyway… unless I can find another game from which to soak up some self-worth…), omg I sound like Justin McCravok…, etc.” (shit wrong oldfgt.)

Some have a few more things to say than that. In fact, (I am begging you) if you are in the process of rage quitting, take the extra day or two to write something interesting. We will remember you that much better for it.
But this is not a rage quit. (The satire thickens.)
I am “quitting” in one respect. I am quitting from the role of recruiter. So Admin take notice, I no longer care if our Newbs stay or go. If they ask me I’ll tell them to probably find a different game. (Parody mirrors RL)
Those of us who have been around for a while have a pretty clear vision for what this game can be. If admin would just farking commit to a gaddam version and leave it the fark alone, there is enough here to make things work. No other GAME I’ve experienced has promised a finer interplay between variable dynamics than eRepublik has.
But, and this is the Ultimate Headscratcher, Plato keeps making himself the rotten apple in a perfectly otherwise healthy bunch. Like ALL OF THE REST OF YOU I am sick and tired of Plato CHANGING THE GAME.
(Parody + Metaphor)
I have this vision of Pete Sampras playing the Ultimate Tennis Match against Roger Federer. Can you imagine? Both facing one another in their prime? But with the match knotted up at 2 sets apiece, the official stops the game abruptly and announces that any player with Black Hair must suffer a 1 point per game penalty. Then the match may continue (after a few days of working out the bugs of course).

Poor Pete Sampras. The stupid bastard actually entered into the match thinking that the rules would not MASSIVELY CHANGE mid-serve. LOL. Dope. The rules always change in this game because the administrators of your silly tennis match only care about that fat bastard in the third row buying another round of drinks for all his friends if Federer wins the next point. History would judge Sampras harshly for quitting that match. I would not.
The job of Party President is the job of Ambassador of this game. Sorry. Count me out until these absurd circumstances change for the better.
(Parody + Marketing. Shameful)
But because I still see the potential around here, and because the one last bastion of sanity in this game, the Newspaper, still exists, I plan to stick around. I might turn into a curmudgeon though.
(The Parody doubles upon itself)
I considered only two contingencies for my nervous energy. Play another stupid game or ride this stupid one out. (The Parody being the Converse Fallacy of the Sweeping Generalization.)
(Ok wait this is getting weird.)
I Gnilraps hereby withdraw from the race to become the next Federalist Party President.
I believe that the Federalist Party is one of few answers in this stupid morass.
I believe that until they ruin the newspaper module completely there is reason to stick around.
And by doing so I sadly prove the folly of putting your faith in man.
(Satire of the poetic beauty of virtual beliefs…)
When Plato finally takes away even Newspaper Subscriptions (he sort of already has, actually, except the number is still there to flatter me), I’ll be gone. Onanism is no fun at all. Less so with you watching.
But the redeeming quality of stupidity is its ongoing newsworthiness. So let’s get our game on.
We’ve survived BetaV1,Beta V2/BetaRising, and now BetaV3.
Don’t count on me for a BH Medal, I want the honor of dying without one. But count on reading 16 Shells for meaning behind this madness. (To hell if satire can’t at least be cruel about identifying pathetic self-importance.)
And if they take away the Media Mogul Award before I get it? I will rage quit. Don’t miss that.

(And to drive the ultimate satire home, I will include the following tragedy, the tl;dr version.)
Gnilraps is a clown.
See the silly clown drop the bricks on his huge clown foot.
Laugh because clowns are funny.
Ignore that corner of your mind that knows clowns are really scary.
Flee from the flicker of thought that maybe you are a clown too, with real bricks in your hands.
Buy another ticket to see this silly clown again tomorrow.
(now back to clicking the bewbs4newbs thread...)
Vote/Sub/Fight/Work/or not/…
Or else
Dammit PM me and tell me you want to be a Federalist and let’s smack this bitch up.
And stay tuned to 16 Shells for a constant barrage of the unexpected.
Gnilraps,
Lame Duck.