eUK Government found to use child labour, and said they think its 'cute'.

Day 409, 17:12 • Published in United Kingdom United Kingdom • by Maltese Mission
SOME NEWS AND MORE THINGS ISSUE #1

Bob Boblo pictured above,who was arrested earlier today.


SHOCK. HORROR.

A leaked report from congress today revealed that several hundred children no older than 7 or 8 are employed in various ministerial roles within the eUK government, with insider - Stan Wephen - revealing that the Ministry of Health is entirely run as a class project by 'Giraffe Class' at St.Mary's Primary school in Putney, South London.

There was immediate condemnation of the employment of what congressman Hazzn described today as a 'bunch of surly stuck up brats', with Horatio Vowles blasting the government for 'acting in a pretty shitty manner'.

Furthermore, official government spokesman Bob Boblo defended their appointment to the various ministries arguing 'its really important to give them a chance, the children are our future. I'll miss having them around if they go, they are really cute, they certainly keep me busy!' Boblo has since been arrested by police, although the charges have not yet been made clear.

Efforts have been made throughout the day to track down the now missing for 2 week former Minister of Health, JerryGFL. His car was found abandoned only yesterday, just a short distance from UKRP party headquarters. Sightings of him in various back-gardens throughout the South East have been made in the past 24 hours, with reports of him 'being a bit weird', 'staring' and 'unshaven'.

This publication urges anyone who has seen Jerry to make themselves known to the authorities.

OLDEST MAN IN eUK REVEALS WHAT IT WAS LIKE IN HIS DAY

84 year old Dishmcds may smell, may have a really hairy face and may even wee a bit while you chat to him - but there is something endearing about this man - who has been here since the beginning of eRepublik, since the founding of eUK.

As he revealed to our publication, it hasn't always been so easy to communicate with fellow party members and eUK citizens. 'No no, back in the 40s we didn't have the kind of technology we have today. Today we can just use the forums, but no, back then we just had to send each other an email - it wasn't even instant, sometimes up to 5 minutes delay. It was a family event back then, nothing like today which is a shame. We'd all gather round the computer in front of the fire, wind it up and then send some emails, and check facebook if there was time.'

More from Dishmcds, our golden oldie, next time.

DISCUSSION:TUP MEMBERS SPORTING MYSTERY TATTOOS

TUP members have recently been spotted with matching tattoos upon their left forearms of what appears to be a near perfect copy of Picasso's 'weeping woman' including frame and the stains of age. When asked about the mystery picture-print, most covered their arms quickly before looking away while Party President, Squiddy, simply looked at the floor weeped. He has since - for three days - remained sat in the corner of the room holding the adorned arm in silence, and looking dissapointed with himself. Malta_1990 was overheard to call him a 'miserable, sulking bast**d'.

No-one as of yet knows the origins or meaning of the tattoos. Some believe it to be a copy of the tactic used by previous PCP party president Voldemort, who called to members through a similar mark etched into their arms. Clearly something went disastrously wrong for TUP's copied attempt however. One explanation, proposed by current PCP presidential candidate Relic was 'maybe Squiddy just realises the tattoos look crap'.

HAMS FOUND
3 slightly overcooked hams have been found. Could the owner please make himself known, and collect as soon as possible please.
Tommy 'Yep' Tommasino