eSA Mortalk Kombat 3 Round 1 part 1 Results

Day 1,989, 04:57 • Published in South Africa South Africa • by Badger06






Here's how it turned out.

Spottedfrog (4) vs Frankie Knuckles (5)

Result: The Giant Slayer Spottedfrog strutted into the ring not paying his opponent much acknowledgement but the Spottedfrog was not up against a giant this time. Frankie Knuckles arrived looked highly p*ss*d of, rumours have it that he caught crabs from on of the lady competitors and has been unable to scratch them. The frog was lightning fast and gained the advantage almost immediately but a well time five-knuckle shuffle from Frankie saw our champion skewered. Frankie was seen walking back with Spottedfrogs head as a souvenir.

Kuckuck(5) vs Sm33za(1)

Result: Kuckuck came well prepared for this encounter, having studied his opponent from his multiple movies. He new he had to finish this one quickly. Flying in for the kill he knocked the alien Sm33za to the ground then promptly tipped the hot coals from an adoring fans braai all over his foe.

LiquidIce (4) vs Grimstone(5**😉

Result: Having slammed back multiple tequilas with Hamilton Moore in their celebration of Spottedfrog's demise Grimstone arrived in a tipsy state. LiquidIce gave him a good scare to, blasting him with multiple dish washing detergents she had brought with. It took a well timed duck and weave for him to plunge his blade deep into the chest of his opponent. Kicking away her writhing corpse as he walked back to the bar.

Bic deWille (4***😉 vs Pseudo Pumpkin (5)

Result: In a fist smashing fest the crafty pumpkin came out tops when the unfortunate Bic, slipped on banana peal and fell breaking his neck. Most are blaming Rico Suave for leaving it there.

SamGibz(4) vs NyxShade(5)

Result: We had to watch this on the television due to the location but boy did it turn out to be an exciting match. Sam came out swinging and stabbing and taking huge chunks of Nyshades hair along with him. The feisty Nyx though managed to pull of the win when she avoided a lunge of Sams and ripped his testicles clean of with a well timed bite.

Cruel Destiny (5) vs Gambit LeBeau(1)

Result: In the 2nd fastest recorded match up in our history Gambit was mauled to death, having arrived reaking of Vodka, it seams he had lost his cards in his drunken sprawl the night before. Throwing caution to the wind he promptly kicked the lion in the balls. Cruel Destiny responded by ripping out the ragin cajun's throat.

In other news the crowd seems to have come well prepared with goggles and umbrellas to protect themselves form the showers of blood still pumping from Gambits remains

Locutus(5*😉 vs Baglamas(3)

Result: Baglamas fought well in this encounter, she pounced and clawed and scratched and came within a sniff of victory but the borg with his superior weapons grew tiresome and whipped out a ray gun and blasted her to dust.

ArkAjda(5) vs Miyagiyoda(4😉

Result: This was a battle for the ages, two Titans of eSA squaring of against each other. With so much blood and a 2nd arena being needed as they had destroyed the first, we all sat in awe wandering how this could ever be decided. One mistake was all that separated these two, Miyagi sniffing victory went in for the kill but ArkAjda had laid a trap for him, springing forward as Miyagi did he smash his iron hemlet into Miyagi's face stunning the lion. Who before he could react had his head hacked clean of and fly into nearby splashpool.

Fhaemita Malodorus (5) vs Claudia Kilgannon (4)

Result: Claudio came into this one a massive underdog with Fhaemita having an insurmountable 7 re-rolls. Claudio never shy to back down came out swing his guitar like mad. unfortunately he ran out of guitars and Fhaemita seized the opportunity by ramming a drum stick down the rockstar's throat.

Rump3l5tilskin(4) vs Lazer Fazer(5)

Result: Rumpelstilskin who was to busy watching for Lazer's lazer eyes, never saw this one coming as he got a full load down his throat and choked to death.

Steven Bosch(1) vs Niffobti(5)

Result: Niffobti finished this one of pretty quickly when he crushed Steven Bosch's skull between his bicep and forearm

Greggor Lucius(5****😉 vs RedRipper(4)

Result: The Battle Cat was put through his paces but unfortunately for the RedRipper he was to distracted by all of Greggor's groupies that he ended up get clawed and scratched to death.
In an interview later he was quoted as saying "no man but me looks at my *****es and h*'s"

Don Vin(3) vs Krimpie(5*😉

Result: Don Vin got in a few early blows but with Krimpies lightning speed he managed to snatch the hitmans guns and shot a couple bullets right through the back of Don Vins head.
Please note Krimpie only looks blury and pixelated because he moves to fast for any camera to get a good picture

Zamrg(5) vs Charlotte Quintao(0)

Result: Back from dead Zamrg did not waste time striking fear even into the likes of Grimstone and Crumoet. With a swift 5-0 pounding of Charlotte.

Rexdeus(5) vs Champinator(3)

Result: Rexdeus came out shuffling some new cards, they looked strangely like Gambits, but maybe that is just a coincidence. After barely escaping a barrage of flames from Champ he quickly pulled out a large can of dragon killing spray and doused the champ with copious amounts, then sat and watched as his foe withered away.

Josh Whitehead(5) vs Ari Lumumba(3)

Result: In this replay of a MK 1 match Josh managed to turn the tide and snatch his precious victory. He did not give Ari his time to lay out one of his crazy deals. Josh did not listen to a word of it and finished his business in style by strangling Ari to death with his gold chain.

Unfortunately due to a report that the Blood Gods are upset that to much blood has been spilled today, we have to postpone the rest of the matches to the weekend.