Dio Brando: Part I

Day 445, 06:09 • Published in Switzerland Czech Republic • by Leo Ruby

What follows is my attempt at finding out who Dio Brando really is, and why he does what he does.
Enjoy!
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I was sitting at my table, drinking a cup of tea, when I saw it: God's Hand. I'd subscribed a while back, but after Dio died, I never get any more issues. I quickly picked it up, and found that Dio was indeed alive and well. I had received a call from GlaDOS the last night, but he was hysterical and I wasn't able to understand him. Later that night I was in the pub with several friends, and I told them about Dio. One of them was amazed; "I thought he was just a myth!" he said. It was at that point that I decided what I must do. The only biography of Dio available is that of his younger life, and a fictionalized account as well, so I immediately got a plane ticket, and the next day I was on my way to Pakistan.
I pulled into the Pakistani airport that night and entered the sweltering heat. It is a land of beauty, but also of political unrest, but things have pretty much died down since the V1 crisis. I was given a bodyguard, and GlaDOS met me at his car, an open topped VW-Thing style car. The body guard sat in the back with me, and GlaDOS sat up front with the driver. He was a former U.S. citizen, but left after disillusionment with the right-leaning policies of the U.S. and become a follower of Dio. "Welcome Leo. It's nice to see you again." he said.
"Nice to see you again as well, GlaDOS. What can you tell me about Dio? Who are his enemies?"
"Well, I can't tell you much other, than than that his enemies are every PIG DISGUSTING capitalist in the world." GlaDOS calms down again. "But I don't really know much. Check with Gnoltac.

We pass several dirty children in the street playing, who make bro fists as we pass them, a gesture that GlaDOS, the driver, and the bodyguard return.
We pass through the slums and drive into the swankier area of Islamabad, finally pulling up to the front of the Stardust Cruisers headquarters, emblazoned with a large picture of their hideous mascot out front. I get out, and GlaDOS and the body guard follow. We enter the building and GlaDOS shows the receptionist his badge. We enter the elevator, and we go to the 5th floor, GnolTac's office. I had never personally met GnolTac, but I remembered her "Barack Hussein Osama: Psychotic Terrorist" tirade, although at the time I did not know she was joking.
She greets us, and we sit down. "GnolTac, what can you tell me about Dio?" I asked.
She sighs. "Well, he's a pretty cool guy, but I don't really know much about him. You could check with AgentChieftain though." I thank her, and we leave, returning to the elevator. AgentChieftain's office is all the way up on the 7th floor, and we slowly travel up in the glass elevator before getting out. His office is bigger than that of GnolTac, and he sits facing the window, looking down upon his nation. "Agent, Ruby's here." GlaDOS says, making a fist. He turns around in his chair and does the same. "Please sit down," he says, "now, what do you want to know?"

Part II coming soon!

Best wishes,

Leo Ruby