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You should know better.

Well, it's been a helluva ride, and I think since I've pretty much contained myself my entire career from writing a truly TL😉R piece well enough that I can let loose give into that now. So for those of you hankering for one last good old fashioned Athanaric read through, here it is. For those of you with lesser attention spans, jog on.

If you are genuinely interested in how this game has affected me, I'm going to begin with an exposition of just about everything I've done, and how I got to doing it. If you are genuinely interested in where I'm dividing up my hoard of gold to, scroll down and look at the list.

*Ahem*

There and Back Again: A Halfling's Tale
Once upon a time on a small little liberal arts campus in the middle of Pennsylvania, there lived a guy who was seriously bored and looking for some game that he could really get into. Cyber Nations was a pretty good fare for that, but the recent Karma war had left him drained of drama, and he was looking for something new.

Down the hall, a friend of who he also knew through CN had been talking about something called eRepublik. His friend George and he had started some militia and they tried convincing the guy to join the game and their militia.

After a few months of poking around and looking at the game, the guy registered. On February 21st, 2010, day 824, Athanaric was born.

(Here's where I switch to the first person voice)

I immediately joined up with Eagles Militia. George Barker helped encourage me to get integrated, and after just a week or so I was running a platoon. Things were going smooth, and I was handling everything well. But I wanted more than just the military module and a small platoon. I saw the media module. I read up on PigInZen's articles, and Emerick's, and all the greats of the time. It was an exciting time for the country, one of the last great ages, before V2 came, even before GF Day. WWIII was at it's close, and the country was poised to take on a new role.

I decided to join a party. I looked long and hard, and after wading through the options, I chose SEES. SEES seemed to have the most fun, and I'll forever believe that they were the greatest embodiment of what could be possible with a party. I interviewed Krems with my new paper (back then called Blowing Bubbles due to my avatar being a bubble) and I got relatively good air time for it. I became friends with Candor, who together we helped form what would eventually morph into SEES SS. Originally it was the SSI, a group we used to spy and manipulate things behind the scenes. We did some foreign affairs operations, but nothing ever was truly successful and with the 'death' of Emerick, interest waned.

George didn't really approve of my choice in party, but he began to be around less and less for it to really matter. One day he just stopped logging on, and I was left to try and sustain Eagles Militia as it's head during the V2 transition.

We didn't make it.

Those first few weeks were tumultuous. Things were changing, and nobody was very happy. Hordes of people left, and the game went severely downhill. When SEES was PTO'd, we all jumped ship to the UIP to escape and gain back the party. But while SEES went back after the election, I stayed on with the UIP. There was just something more friendly about it, something more easy going.

Here, I thought, was a group of guys who knew how to have fun. And fun did we have.

Over the next few months I think I was at my peak. I gained notoriety as a good writer, got into SEAL Team 6 (which is and always will be the best militia around) and began to seriously take on political roles. Getting into SEAL Team 6 was difficult. Josh Frost rejected me at first, but he told me to sign up again in a few weeks after my strength had gotten up. I did, and he accepted it. It's been the best thing for me in this game and I recommend everyone else to find such a great group of people to latch on to.

I also began to be more involved politically and started signing up to be a part of people's cabinets and administrations. My first job was that of MM Director, a post I held for 4 months.

Worst.

Job.

Ever.

I decided to eventually run for UIP PP, and my first bid was a successful one. I had huge party support, from old and new members alike and I think that first month was the best time I have ever had in the game.

I was at the highest I was at that point: Secretary of Media, UIP PP, Congressman and Congressional Whip along with Glove, and a CPO of a SEAL Team 6 Platoon. I was getting interviewed weekly as a rising star, someone with potential. People were talking about how I could be a president someday. Things were going really well.

But I became dissatisfied. As I got deeper into the game, and higher up in what was going on behind the scenes, in what people call the meta, I saw things that were wrong. High up in our nation is stagnation, and it still remains today. There has always been a core group of people doing everything, and it will always be that way.

I think the turning point for me was Josh Frost's election over CRoy. CRoy and I had been friends for a long time, and I still consider him one of my best. He has everything it takes to be a great president, and he should have had it then. But then came the Revolution, and the roleplaying, and the reemergence of the Libertarians. Suddenly, the work I had done for months to make my party fun seemed out of place. The UIP was trodden upon, and I began to realize that I didn't actually hold any real power in the nation like I thought I did.

So I pushed back.

I began to grind against the UIP, trying to make it something different, something more functional, something I could be proud of that was both powerful and inviting. I wanted to fuse the brotherhood I felt with my members with the initiative of larger parties. But it all failed. You can't change that which doesn't wish to be changed, even if it is for the better.

December passed and the new year came. I began getting less and less attention. I faded into more and more obscurity. Fewer people gave me job opportunities in the executive branch, and finally the UIP got fed up of me trying to bring about my vision and they voted me out. I was angered at how such a reversal could occur. I spat in the UIP's face, and deliberately went about destroying it's reputation further. I became a troll, and was just angry all the time.

I retreated for a bit after that. In January I was not very active, failing to integrate into the United Arab Emirates when I didn't get citizenship and being kicked out and called names by people I considered my friends. Pheno, Kazeal, Justin McCravok; all turned. All I had left was ST6 really at that point.

So I decided to see about doing something new. I stayed on with USWP for a bit, writing for them and feeling very welcomed. Speedcat, ligtreb, Fionia, Hadrian X, Cromstar, and a slew of others who knew me made me feel very welcome. I had a home, and a family. A group of people who liked me for who I was, what I could do, and would accept me whenever I decided to hang out. But it was safe, and too easy for me. I wanted a challenge.

So I moved to the party I had most harbored hatred against, but still liked in the back of my mind. I joined up with Claire and CRoy and got on board with the Libs, where I helped do Executive functions.

In February I participated in one of my favorite memories: the Valentines Day Poems. I donated 138 q1 foods out to people each with handwritten poems. I think this sort of thing is what makes the game really worthwhile. It was a fulfilling feeling.

At this point I gained some standing back with the government. I was doing well. And then iNCi came.

I saw it as a challenge, and I rose to it. Soren Nelson, one of my best and longest friends, and I were on the warpath to safeguard the nation. We worked hard that evening in February to keep iNCi out of congress. I spent the most time ever online in both IRC and in game that night making things happen: paying gold for people to vote, getting citizenships approved, and getting snipers organized. Zyria, Soren, and I did a lot of hard work, as did many others.

That night we won, but that night I also lost all my will to carry on. No one cheered my name in the channels. It was Justin, who "organized voters", and Zyria and Soren who got the attention.

Not me.

I had spent literally hours on this game, working to fight a group that didn't exist, working to help a country that didn't exist, so that people I had never met could be happy. And nobody cared that I had done so.

I realized that night that I couldn't continue playing. This whole thing, this world we have created, is nothing, literally nothing. The people we interact with are real, yes, but what we do here has no bearing and effect on the world at large. The hours I had spent writing, politicking, and working towards goals and medals was for nothing because at the end of the day I would go back to my life and have accomplished zilch.

Thus began my slow but steady decline into apathy.

I had fun at first. Got a lot of people banned during this whole uprising against admin. That was good. Ran for UIP PP again and almost made it. But the powers that be did not allow it.

I gave up on political ambitions. I gave up on IRC. I became a ghost, and only stuck around on the forums.

And then one last shining ray presented itself. With Glove's election, my former congress whip buddy, to president I was now Secretary of the Interior. Finally, after a year of waiting for a serious government job, I was in. I set to work outlining a plan to change things around to be more efficient, and I told Justin what time I would be taking off. I left for Spring Break confident that the people I had chosen could follow through.

But like so many other of my plans I had made, I was proven wrong. It's all my fault, to be honest. I left at an integral time in making the change which I had planned for months, but the backlash I received on getting back was uncalled for.

That week of Spring Break I was gone I had a true revelation about the game. If I had spent so much time working in this game, why not do that in real life? All my articles could be done in real life, all my efforts to change things could be for people I know. My Spring Break was wonderful, but my return to this game was not.

So I quit. I realized nobody wanted me and that my reputation was broken for good with the Executive. No point in trying to fix something that doesn't actually matter.

So here I am, in the last days of my eLife, and here is the moment I choose to be extremely selfish and prideful.

I will forever be the most underestimated and undervalued this country will have ever lost. I have spent more time working for America, my party, and my friends in this game than you can possibly know. For 400 days to the day today I have worked for everyone else, never for myself. I have stayed up late, done things I don't want to do, and talked and bargained with people I don't give a f-ck about in order to make this gaming experience better for you.

So to every one of you who doubted me, who said I was a liar, who said they hated me, who called me names, to the entire UIP (yes, you S-mac, and yes you, ssomo, and Kazeal, and Pheno and Justin and all you other little scrabbers), and to everyone else who has ever taken a moment to even think that I am worthless I have but this to say:

Thank you.

You have helped me realize what a waste of time I have made with my life. You have shown me how worthless it is to invest in these types of things, to put emotion into something which is not and never can be real. And to that, I will owe you a true debt of thankfulness I can never hope to repay.

You have made an impact on my life. My real life. Hat's off to you.

And to all of you who have done the opposite, who have constantly supported me and been there for me and sent me food to stay and told me how good I was and to keep doing that, this is me taking your advice. I owe you an ever greater debt, and for that, we will be in touch.

The people of this game are what makes it worth it. Don't ever kid yourself that this gaming experience is fun.

It's not.

It will always be the community that keeps you.

As it always should be.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Now, for those of who are just scrabbling vultures wanting to know how I'm dividing up my gold (shame on you, btw, but I really can't blame you). I have, over the course of my eLife, been very miserly. I have never trained with gold, only tanked once to try and get a BH, and have sold and made profit where I can.

This has left me with a tidy sum of 172 gold.

Which will be distributed in the following manner.

The Last Will and Testament of Athanaric
Herein lies the division of Athanaric's swag.

A sum of 1 gold each will be donated to 7 players in recognition of the impact they had on me and my time here in this game. They are:
Candor
Friends to the end, buddy. You are my oldest friend in this game, and we've remained true to that for a long time. I'm glad to see you getting out of your shell more with congress. You deserved to be SoH a long time ago. Scheming with you over how to infiltrate parties and use subterfuge to our advantage was huge fun. But you will always be the true Director.
CRoy
Balladeers of Bollocks forever, baby. You and me. I hated you for a while, but that was just because of the whole UIP nonsense. I'm glad we got back to being great friends. You're a powerful leader, and a wonderful friend. You should have been president a lot sooner. Good luck with everything.
Glove
We've been bros for a while. Your music taste in impeccable, and you've been a great president. I'm proud to have worked with you in congress so often. You're definitely a bad enough dude. Vaya con Dio.
Fionia
People really under appreciate you. Sitting and complaining with Blank about all the stuff we have to put up with was very cathartic, and you were willing to totally accept me into your party when no one else was even willing to talk to me. You're a great friend.
Kazeal
You were my first mentor and friend, the first person I texted with in this game, and while you've been a real stubborn jerk recently, I'm still thankful for the times we had. Be more open; it'll do you some good.
Ligtreb
You have always been my staunchest supporter, even when I don't think I deserved it. You have advised me on how to play, and always been willing to listen. I can't thank you enough, and I wish you a great amount of luck in continuing with your life. Don't ever change. Also, will you be my VP?
RaccoonGoon
You are without a doubt the coolest and greatest player this country will probably never know. You were better than me in almost every way. I was much more active though, which was probably a bad thing in retrospect, but oh well. I can't thank you enough for your advice and talks. You're a bro.

I have a special thing I would also like to give to someone that is very dear to me. Astra Kat G, to those who did not know here, used a certain girl as her avatar for a long time, and when she left the game I took it upon myself to use that girl in every article I wrote. Partially in tribute, and partially because she's hot.

To Blank Keating I leave Susan Coffey. She's yours now. Take good care of her, and go get that Media Mogul.

Remember me, remember Astra. Keep Susan safe.

To PigInZen, Soren Nelson, rainy sunday, Jamarcus, St Krems, Emerick, Animis, Teucer, Claire Littleton, Justin McCravok, Paul Proteus, Hadrian X, GenMcBeckson, jerseygirldani, Zyria, Kria Erickson, Colin Lantrip, Angelini, chickensguys, ArcNox, Richard Nixon II, Holen, Nicholas Ryan, Speedcat McNasty, P-14 Headhunter, Pfeiffer, Josh Frost, J03 Freyer, Evan Feinman, Cerb, Cromstar, Jude Connors, Xtasia, Syrup, Alexander Hamilton, and whoever else I forgot but know made an impact, I thank you.

Our friendship is priceless.

(Hopefully that'll make up for the lack of gold...)

A sum of 5 gold will be given to whoever writes a good enough wiki page for me. I've always wanted one, and honestly I'm too lazy to do it myself. Sorry, but I do get to be a little selfish. So 5 gold to the person who writes my wiki page.

A sum of 40 gold will be donated to SEAL Team 6. You have been my rock in this game, and have consistently provided fun both in game and out. I know the gold will do well for you, and I'll stick around for any work that needs doing. Thank you.

I was going to donate gold to each of the parties, but honestly, it's not worth it. Donating to party funds is pointless, and I've been in too many to have any real attachment to any of them at this point. So, thanks for the boost into politics, and maybe if the parties prove their worth in the future some other halfling altruist will donate to you.

Or not.

Now, if you're any good at math, you probably realize that there is still 120 gold I have yet to give away. And you're correct. I talked with Speedcat on IRC a few days ago, and he helped me format the plan for what I will do with the remaining gold.

With my last 120 gold I hereby create the Athanaric Achievement for Literary Excellence and the Athanaric Achievement for Upcoming Talent. Each month the government will select the prior month's best writer and newest in game talent. A sum of 5 gold will then be awarded to those winners and an article will be published featuring both winners. The winners will also get a custom banner to be used in their forum signatures and at the bottom of their papers.

Thank you to CRoy, Speedcat, Justin McCravok and several others who have helped to bring this idea to fruition. I have provided a year's worth of funding for this project. I hope it goes well for everyone (I'll be watching to see if it does). 😉

I am editing in a clause, since so many people have told asked me to stay. While it is against my wishes to do so, I will return fully if one of the following two things happens: I somehow manage to get a Media Mogul, or ligtreb asks me to be in his Cabinet when he's President. Those are the only two things that would ever get me to return, and it would probably honestly only be for a while.

If you haven't noticed, this game is kind of suckish. So I'll take my leave while I have the opportunity to.

Thanks once again to everyone for the time we had.

Wake me if you need me.



Forward unto dawn,
To that sunshine place of light and tomorrow.
No darkness,
No pain,
Only the vast beyond.

To the morning I lift my cry
And charge ever towards that burning horizon.

You cannot feel it, or see it, or hold it,
But it will forever be there: us.
In heart and mind,
As real as the warmth of the sun shining forth from the crest of the world.

Memory is my night now, my sweet lucid dream,
My creator and friend, ever by my side.

Behind me waits the yesterdays,
The troubles,
The people,
And now it all seems so far past, a light off in the distance.

I hold my note high, I raise it to the sky
And as I smile and remember
I roar onwards to that ever sunshine place of light and tomorrow,
Straight to the edge of all time,
On to that new day,
Forward unto dawn.

Stay frosty.