e|Reporter

Wipe-out continues

Whats the news today? guess what, it's war again.
[C'mon swedes, poles, gimme a break it's getting boring!]
Since, as editor and owner of this small, but fine newspaper, I also have an educational task, I will attempt to show that war reports might as well have their righteous place in the feuilleton part of your newspaper.


current situation at the warzone (pretty bad hum? Depends on who you are playing for)

eSweden and ePoland continue their concerted efforts to erase eGermany of the map. With an unprecedented stakkato of endless attacks they perform their sonata of war.
In best manner of Oskar Matzerath from the "Tin Drum", Kalle Holm drums his viking army to the frontline of North-Rhine Westfalia, while pompous polish trumpets signal their [10th? Sorry, lost count] attack on Thuringia and Saxony-Anhalt with the first lines of the "Mazurek Dąbrowskiego" (national anthem)

"Jeszcze Polska nie zginęła,
Kiedy my żyjemy.
Co nam obca przemoc wzięła,
Szablą odbierzemy."

it goes, which means as much as...

"Poland has not perished yet
So long as we still live
That which alien force has seized
We at sabrepoint shall retrieve"

...and obviously alot more. They take the line with the sabrepoint quite seriously don't they?


Kalle Holm as Oskar Matzerath

Meanwhile, after having declined the german request for help and proposing peace treaties with ePoland and eSweden, eUS president Scrabman (we reported ) has now set US neutrality in stone, thus making it impossible for US citizens to express their support in valuable fights. He might as well have done it to restrain himself though ( read here)

For this occation, his orchestra of fellow congress men assembled to bid farewell to eGermany. The condolences came in form of Chopin's famous funeral march.
President Scrabmen himself was reported to have played the triangle part. Music critics compared his play to his foreign policy efforts - he was always three beats behind (read this ).

Click here for Chopins funeral march: [url] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kyFyAqLtHq8 [/url]

[editor: observant readers might point out now that there is no triangle part in Chopin's funeral march. But this only shows that our readers are the smartest ]

PS: Dear classical music friends, please refrain from complaints

PPS: To the three people who probably read this, (thank you so much *sniff*) If you enjoyed it, vote it up so other people can read this too.


This article was nominated for the "Best Article of the Month" award