Continue to support dmjohnston for buying your vote!
Day 2,421, 17:39
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Published in USA 
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by
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by Serendipitous
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, A MESSAGE HAS JUST HIT THE BOOKS
We are just receiving word that dmjohnston, your new president, has bought his way to the candidacy!
You heard it here first, one of dmjohnston's staunchest allies, Pfeiffer, bribed the polity of America with...
Pfeiffer Gummies!
These Pfeiffer Gummies have a shelf life of infinity due to their metallic nature, and the thin chocolately exterior gives way to a nanochip designed to control your mind! One bite, and you'll be forced to do everything that dastard wants!
Candy Mind Control
So let me ask you, America. Would that be so bad?
Pfeiffer is an American Hero. Or, at the very least, an Albanian hero. And what are you? You're nothing, America. You're a paper bag in the wind. You don't deserve free will. We own you, and you know it.
So, forgive and forget. It was noble, trying to buy your vote. It was heroic. See you next month.
This has been your Secretary of Fun. Return to your homes.
/s/
Serendipitous
We are just receiving word that dmjohnston, your new president, has bought his way to the candidacy!
You heard it here first, one of dmjohnston's staunchest allies, Pfeiffer, bribed the polity of America with...
Pfeiffer Gummies!
These Pfeiffer Gummies have a shelf life of infinity due to their metallic nature, and the thin chocolately exterior gives way to a nanochip designed to control your mind! One bite, and you'll be forced to do everything that dastard wants!
Candy Mind Control
So let me ask you, America. Would that be so bad?
Pfeiffer is an American Hero. Or, at the very least, an Albanian hero. And what are you? You're nothing, America. You're a paper bag in the wind. You don't deserve free will. We own you, and you know it.
So, forgive and forget. It was noble, trying to buy your vote. It was heroic. See you next month.
This has been your Secretary of Fun. Return to your homes.
/s/
Serendipitous
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Comments
Fluffy-Multi detected LMAO
Pfeiffer gummies sound oddly delicious.
They are so wonderful, may I have another...please?
Jesus H., Seren, it's been a year since you wrote an article. That's approaching my territory.
New posts on your meta-forum need your attention, Piggy. Now GO GO GO!!!!
Is Ajay Bruno posting gay pr0n again?!!?
LMAO No, Fluffy is HUE HUE
Unsubbed for lack of patriotism.
A candy a day,
Keeps the bear 🐻 away 😉
What?
Did you know that certain food can improve you intelligence, Dely?!
Did you know that the observable universe is about 29 gigaparsecs across?
That's just a theory - mine is a fact. You could change your eating habits and reach 90 IQ in a year. Think about that!
FIST
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Why are any of you surprised by this? This is standard operations.
Screenshot or it didn't happen.
No one like attention grabbing whore
This is a RGR like move
Can't tell if trolling or full-on retarded.
Pfeiffer's offer was in response to Largo's attempt to buy votes;
http://www.erepublik.com/en/article/-largo4potus-rock-the-vote-2413342/1/20
You may now return to obscurity.
Talos, you don't need new posts to make it obvious how dumb you are - we already know 🙂
LOL
All you morons who think Seren is being srsbsns need to calm your tits.
Good stuff, Seren... I miss you, bro
There is nothing funny about this. The entire buffet-industry in the Bayou has been devastated thanks to fluffer.
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Pfeiffer! Stop starting resistance wars in Japan!
Bestpost here by far !!!!!!
It didn't taste funny to me.
If he didn't by my vote, what do I do? Please advise.
Buy?
Please send all inquiries regarding receiving a Pfeiffer Gummy to my inbox.
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Thank Dio I vote for free. 0.0
Meow! ♥
You always were cheap - or should I say FOR FREE! HUE HUE
Did you think of that all by yourself?
Unlike you - YES!
Ok - I'm done now if you can't bother be more interesting.
I know you would love to have the power to kick me out of here like you do on the IRC channels, but Mazzy - you can't always get what you want. Now go to the kitchen and cook your kids a decent meal - they are tired eating baloni-sandwiches all the time!
I really think we should just pick an Emperor and stick with that guy forever. The facade of elections bugs everyone more than it should. No more elections, no more upset people. Take over the world in the name of that Emperor. Do eeet!
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