COMMAND REDUCTION of ARMY PERSONNEL(CRAP)

Day 404, 11:56 • Published in United Kingdom United Kingdom • by Horice P Fossil

An unnamed informant inside the MOD has told the Prehistoric Times that as a result of the amount of gold used in the war with France a review of the number of troops needed in the EUK military is underway.
Command Reduction of Army Personnel(CRAP)will be the first stage,if reductions are deemed necessary then Retire Active Personnel Early(RAPE)program will begin.
Members of the Guard or Navy who are RAPEd will be given the opportunity to seek employment elsewhere.
This phase of CRAP will be know as the Survey of Capabilities of Retired Early Warroirs(SCREW)
Guard and Navy personnel who have been RAPEd and SCREWed may request review of thier situation by higher authority.
This will be known as the Study by Higher Authority Following Termination(SHAFT)phase
CRAP policy dictates that any Guard or Navy member may be RAPEd once,SCREWed twice but may be SHAFTed as many times as the military leadership deems appropriate,
The MOD has assured the remaining members of the Guard and Navy that they will begin the Special High Intensity Training(SHIT)program.
The EUK military takes pride in the amount of SHIT our soldier and sailors recieve and can boast that it gives out more SHIT than any other service.
If any member of the Guard or Navy feels he or she does not get enough SHIT please contact your commander.
Your commander is especially trained to make sure you recieve all the SHIT you deserve.
This was told to the P/T off the record so i cannot guarantee it is totally true.
Horice P Fossil(MDU official publisher of CRAP)