California for Gnilraps
Gnilraps
Department of Shameless Self-Promotion
Day 1,339 of the New World
"I'm reliable sources, I'll tell ya anything you want me to know."
— Tom Waits
Top 10 Reasons to vote for Gnilraps for Congress
10. He hasn't been there done that.
That's right, I am campaigning as an "outsider". The fact that I have not ever accomplished anything in Congress is a major feature of my campaign. (Note: I was elected once a year and a half ago but I sucked).
9. He is Recruitment-Focused.
Look. There isn't a whole lot that Congressmen actually do anyway, when it all comes right down to it. But one thing a Congressman can do while in office is use his seat as a player-Retention tool, encouraging newer players, flattering them even with a little attention from a Congressman. I never see anyone doing this. I will leverage whatever virtual clout comes with being a Congressman to encourage newer players to stick around.
8. He is a Federalist.
OK, if you are not a Federalist then maybe you think this one should be like #10 instead of #8. But the truth is the Federalist Party is responsible for preparing me to succeed in eRepublik. The entire Party has a Mentorship atmosphere, and being brought up in that environment, to eventually leading it... Let's just say I am more qualified Politically than most because the Federalist Party just does things right.
7. He's a Newspaperman.
I still like to think that the Newspaper is the primary vehicle for communication in eRepublik. I run a nice little publishing house here at 16 Shells. Wouldn't it be fun to have a congressman who likes to publish lots? There haven't been too many of those in a while.
6. He's really Tom Waits IRL.
Maybe you don't understand why this is a qualification. I wouldn't either if I weren't so damn Tom Waits. But being Tom Waits IRL makes me uniquely qualified to say to you that RL Tom Waits is who you really want in eCongress.
5. He's smart enough to know when to shut up.
2. He's not going to be a dick.
I don't have any grand illusion about how glorious being in congress is going to be. It's mostly just voting yes on stuff. So the Congressional halls will be safe from (at least in my case) someone trying to change the world. I think there are a few significant things Congress can actually "do", and I intend to keep my mouth shut about anything that Congress actually cannot. Details to come.
1. He will get a bill passed calling for the deportation of Pizza the Hut.
OK, so deportation is not possible in this game. OK, so he's a "9-star General" and "multi-decorated War Hero". OK, so he's a proud member of (whatever) Party (he feels like trying to PTO). OK, so he's single-handedly responsible for everything that is good and great in the New World. OK, so he's always (WAY WAY) right about everything. OK, so his contributions to the eUSA are uncountable (seriously). OK, so everyone seems to love him (for at least 3 minutes). Yet, despite all these wonderful reasons why PtH is a "Truly Great And Glorious American" who "Has The Best Plan" for "Everything", I will work to pass a bill for his deportation to eKenya or eGreenland or ePanama or eViet Nam. They need him more than we do.
0. You are tired of everyone else he is running against.
Endorsements:
The Federalist Party
The United Independents Party
Socialist Freedom Party
The Anonymous Party
Comments
Eschew all else.
where is #4 and #3 lol
"Let's just say I am more qualified Politically than most because the Federalist Party just does things right."
guess i know who i'm voting for..
@Yoon Fow: check #5
I wish you luck in this run for Congress, I myself am running in the state of Illinois, and am hoping for good results. I already put a letter up on my newspaper speaking my intent to seek the office as a Congressman from that state, so now I can only hope my care and deep thought for this nation gets to be used on a much larger scale. I'll leave the link to my article below, hopefully you are all subscribers, but if not, today is better than any day to start
Link to Article:
http://www.erepublik.com/en/article/portcolumbus-for-congress-in-illinois-1825716/1/20
Well then wouldn't that mean you should of shut it a long time ago. lol
@Yoon Fow: therein lies the conundrum.
Gnilraps,I wish you good luck you will be just fine in Congress 😉
Good luck Gnilraps
Anyone who admits he sucked at the position last year has my vote.
This makes me P/H
good luck!
Good luck! You certainly deserve one of the seats. In fact I am appalled at how you have only been a Congressman once.
One of the finest Federalists I've known. Good luck.
Good luck!
One of the best living Americans. A presidency is in this man's future. Ya'll should probably get him into Congress now...
I LOVE YOU
I counted all of Pizza's accomplishments...many of them lol.
I will dance.
I think this is the second best platform I have ever read.(mine got a porn delete, top that)
How about a ''Ignore PTH Day'' ? Just pretend you don't see him for an entire day.
@Salinger
Make that a year, and you've got a deal
haha erepublik don't have a law to deport citizen. a citizen has the right to do what he pleases.
haha jackinson doesn't understand
Another reason to vote for Gnilraps: He knows how to count 😉
I normally don't vote, but that presentation right there touched me where I live, I tried telling the police, but their on your pay-roll and have forced me to vote for you. Well played sir.