Brighten Up eRep!

Day 1,566, 09:23 • Published in USA Poland • by code0011

It's been a while since I last wrote an article, and since I have a bit of spare time I thought "Why not brighten up everyone's day", so here I go:

The theme today is Birds.
A vicar new to the area visited a little old lady who owned a pet parrot. He noticed that the parrot had a ribbon tied to each leg.
'What are the ribbons for?' he inquired.
The old lady sai😛 'If I pull the left ribbon, he sings "Clementine", and if I pull the right ribbon, he sings "Yankee Doodle Dandy".'
'And what happens if you pull both ribbons at the same time?" asked the vicar.
'I fall off the bloody perch!' said the parrot.
Why do birds fly south in the winter?
IT's too far to walk.
Why does a flamingo lift up one leg?
Because if it lifted both it would fall over.
Why don't owls mate during a storm?
It's too wet to woo.
A chicken saw a duck standing by the side of the road. The chicken walked over to the duck and sai😛 'Don't do it, pal. You'll never hear the end of it!'
A penguin walks into a bar.
'Ouch!'
A penguin walks into a bar and asks the barman: 'Have you seen my brother?'
'I don't know,' said the barman. 'What does he look like?'
A circus owner walked into a bar and saw everyone gathered around a table. On the table was a duck tap-dancing on an upturned flowerpot. The circus owner was so impressed he bought the duck and the flowerpot for a thousand dollars.
People came from miles around to see the duck's heavily promoted debut in the Big Top but to widespread disappointment, the duck didn't dance a step. The next day the circus owner returned to the bar to seek out the man who had sold the duck to him.
'That duck is a fraud!' the circus owner raged. 'He hasn't danced a single step for me.'
'That's odd. Did you remember to light the candle under the flowerpot?'
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