Bored? I Don't Blame You!

Day 806, 11:05 • Published in USA USA • by PigInZen

Presidential Platform part 5 - MOAR FUN AND LULZ




MOAR FUN

Everybody has been bitching lately about how boring things have gotten in the eUS. I agree. I was so bored that I was forced to run for President to give myself something fun to do. Since we all cannot run for POTUS the least I could do is try to make things more fun around here for everyone else. After all, you don't want to elect a Stiff-in-Chief, do you?

I didn't think so.

Case in point: the attitude and morale of you all will dictate how successful we are in the game as a country. If your attitude or morale sucks, we won't be able to get shit done. If we're not getting shit done then we're going to fail, no matter how good our government programs and planning is. In short FUN --> EFFORT --> SUCCESS. It's a simple equation and I've dedicated my potential furture Presidential term to thinking about things to make this game more FUN.






Just what is fun, anyway?

Let's face it. We play eRepublik because we're bored in real life. The game is interesting but not enough so we create forums and IRC channels to keep ourselves entertained in between the eRepublik clicking. So much is developed offsite, like government structures, organizations, planning, etc., that it really dwarfs the game. But I'm not here to talk about more of that crap. What I am proposing is elevating the profile of the Department of Fun (didn't know we had one, didja?) and making its function integral to everything the Executive does.

EDIT: This is one big retention plan, I would like to point out. It dovetails with other objectives I have identified in my platform articles so far.

I give you: The Department of Fun

The Department of Fun needs to be taken completely seriously.

Oh sure, I know what you're thinking. More Bureaucracy, more bullshit. Nope. I have a very special plan cooked up for this Department, one that will give each and everyone of you your own reason for logging in every day. Fun will be the guiding principle of my administration (I already do boring quite well, just read the previous four articles...) and I will stress to everyone EVERYDAY just how important it is that they step back and think about making things more fun.

I have someone in mind to run the show but he'll need some helpers, people that aren't afraid do a bit of trolling, to run a lottery, to run a casino, etc. His money quote: "We've got some fun planned at the Department of Fun. I hope ya'll are ready for it." His first initiative: Thirty Days of Fun

1. Thirty Days of Fun: Small challenges every day for a month, each with a prize. Things like "best Zoli joke gets one gold." Or a Q5 weapon. Or food for a week. Every weekend the prizes will be BIGGER.

2. The National Lottery (and Casino): Wait. Did you say LOTTERY? AND A CASINO!?!? What the hell have you been smoking, Pig? I did say both of those things. The lottery would be run from the eusforum.com site and have daily drawings with prizes and cash to winners. Since it'll be run by the eUS government you won't have to worry about someone making off with 50% of the take. Any proceeds will go towards the military. The casino is a nifty little idea I had a week or so ago. We'll take bets on an assortment of events, from real life sporting events to in-game events, like, say, Ajay Bruno returning to take over some small poor unfortunate country or the possibility that Woxan is actually Uncle Sam's multi. 😃

3. The General Fun Council: Will handle media articles lampooning other citizens and events and just generally pitching in to help out with projects.

4. Interparty War Instigators: Highlighting the latent hatred that exists out there between various subgroups. My money is on the Cock Puncher's Party winning all brawls. Either them or the Beta Giants...

5. The Fun Police: A sekrit group to enforce fun at all levels of society. They will come from all the parties so if anyone has ever wanted to get involved in government, this will be their chance.

6. The DTT - Dedicated Trolling Team: The first line of attack against Phoenix. We send them in, mess with their media, jack with a monetary market or two and teach Zoli his tactics work both ways.

7. The Blue Angels: This idea comes from a Real Life colleague of mine. Essentially we time attacks and use custom avatars to spell out messages during battles. Stuff like, E A T O U R L E A D P H O E N I X or U S A P W N A G E !. We'll give designated members avatars with one letter, number or symbol on them. They'll be coordinated over Skype or another voice chat. Members won't know what they're going to spell out until the call goes out. I can imagine the lulz...






Embrace Chaos?

Last but not least, I will be investigating ways in which we can let citizens make more decisions in their daily lives through crowdsourcing and using chaos to make our military efforts more unpredictable to the other side. I'm not sure of the feasibility but I think it would be HUGE FUN to give you the choice between multiple battles instead of telling you "fight here." I imagine something along the lines of "Hit where you dislike the most. London Mexico City Paris" with links to each battle. Then we decide which one is most important/winnable and go from there. Make PHOENIX decide where to put the damage. We alread do this to a certain extent with distraction battles, why not extend the fun to you all?




SHORTER PiZ: Stop Being So Bored. Have Fun.


E Pluribus Unum. From Many, One.



I'LL SAY IT AGAIN: Together we have strength beyond measure. Do your part. Follow DoD orders. Fight with weapons. Maintain your wellness. SUPPORT THE CAUSE.